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Tabardos E Cervexa. Salomas Distópicas Para Entrar En Combate

Contra viento y marea

La Tradición es la memoria de los muertos.
Somos puntos de la circunferencia de una rueda.
Sólo id a los cruces de camino y dibujad las líneas necesarias.
Invocad a los espíritus animales.
Recitad los nombres bárbaros.
Avivad los fuegos que otros encendieron.
Y entenderéis mi Canto.

Cuando era joven
seguí el redoble de tambor desde una ciudad portuaria
hasta al Norte de nuestro Norte.
Me alisté por no ir a beber todos los días a la misma tasca.
No lo podía saber aún, pero aquella fue la Primera Campaña.
Eramos pocos y pioneros
aventureros sin uniforme
puta banda de salvajes.
"Cada gallego vale por diez ingleses", nos dijeron cuando llegó el día.
Pasó que la proporción era de 20 a 1
pero aún no conocíamos la cobardía
y estuvimos a un metro de coronar Pickett Hill.
Allí nos detuvo la metralla enemiga.

No hay nada como una derrota épica
para empalmar las almas celtas.
Los supervivientes volvimos a casa como héroes.
Ciegos de euforia, nos descubrimos organizando la Segunda.
Llegaron nuevos reclutas
mendigos de la fortuna
y llegaron los primeros trajes gremiales.
Aparecieron en escena dos bestias totémicas
que hunden sus pezuñas en los lodos noreuropeos.
Bajo el estandarte del Jabalí
volvimos a las Islas
exultantes y armados hasta los dientes
pero flaqueamos por el flanco.
Nos derrotaron de nuevo.

Ya no hubo que preguntar por una Tercera
el chorromoco corría con nuestra sangre.
Seguimos cosechando más hombres
sedientos de gloria.
Dispuestos a dejarlo todo por ser porcos bravos.
La antorcha no se apagaba
así que subimos otra vez
a donde la distancia se pierde
en lo azul de la distancia.
Esta vez dividimos la Manada en dos grupos salvajes
asolamos los alrededores y
nos reagrupamos en Bramall Lane Burn.
La táctica resultó.
Tuvo que ser a la tercera
que siempre es la vencida.
Ganamos.
El júbilo es indescriptible
y quisimos más.

Habíamos cabalgado el Dragón.
Pero nunca fuimos ángeles
y el ángel es el peor de los dragones.
En la siguiente Campaña
llegamos con el alba
a Yardley Gobion.
¿Qué sucedió en Yardley Gobion?
El pueblo entero era un laberinto de fosas comunes,
un crepúsculo de cadáveres
cuando nos alejamos.



En la IV Campaña
empezaron los grandes cambios.
Muchos veteranos criaban toxo en suelo inglés
otros no superaron las voces de Yardley Gobion.
E iban descolgándose de las listas
los llamados originales.
El niño juglar perdió su arpa pero
había que alimentar a la Bestia
cubrir bajas, formar a los neófitos.
Por tanto seguimos.
Nos vistieron por primera vez de negro
y nos sometimos lentamente a una sola Voz.
Una Manada, Un Destino, Una Causa.
Bajo el perenne cielo gris luchamos de nuevo
otra derrota por estrecho margen
suficiente para desatar los temores
pues demasiados reveses pueden matarte.
Se exigieron cambios internos.
La necesidad de un New Model Army
de purgas y extracciones
impuso su Lógica Blanca.

En tiempo de magostos
llegó la V Campaña.
Nuestras incursiones se habían hecho tan famosas
que gozábamos del mimo mediático
que ensucia los egos.
Reunimos a nuestros mejores hombres
dentro de nuestras posibilidades
Nos dijeron que era imposible perder
con tanto valiente
y con esa sensación embarcamos.
Mas el ascenso del Mal no se detuvo.
A orillas del Mar Germano
en ceremonia entre lo solemne y la pantomima
lo proclamaron Main.
Un Main, Un Hato, Una Causa.
A veces no ves venir las cosas
hasta que te atropellan.
Yo bajé la cabeza y pensé
"No era esto, no era esto"
y repetí gesto después del encuentro.
Habiendo recibido por todas partes
pensé que nunca viviría una derrota más dura.
Me equivoqué.

Sopesé abandonarlo todo.
La Manada devino La Causa
y la Razón se sometió a un Caudillo.
Mandamientos grabados a cuchillo en peltre.
Demasiados pubs en el hígado
demasiados camaradas caídos en la orange plank road
demasiados recuerdos.
Nuevas caras, hábitos nuevos.
Los tiempos estaban cambiando.
Yo no.
Entonces clavaron la bandera al lado del viejo fresno
y llamaron de nuevo a las armas
y tuve que acudir
porque lo llevaba en las venas.



En la VI Campaña
tuvimos banda sonora
trovadores pendencieros, buskeristas del folk-punk.
También se incorporaron otros veteranos
guerreros forjados en mil descontentos
que equilibraron las corrientes internas.
Además, nos trajeron suerte
soltamos nervios en las Marcas Galesas
balaban sus ovejas que nunca nos olvidarían
y en Sheffield solo hubo color negro.
Ganamos por segunda vez.
Algunos se bebieron los cinco ríos
ahora que sabían que no tenía mar.

Para cuando acordamos la Séptima
con la seguridad que te da el éxito
ya había quien no salía en la foto.
Purga ya era más que una palabra
y los méritos eran estar callado.
Una enorme Máquina de Propaganda
nos hacía vivir en 1984.
Las cosas ya no eran nuestros recuerdos
eran lo que nos decían que había sido.
Ficciones de la repetición
con los carteles de Cisco&Miño señalando objetivos.
Atravesamos un país en llamas
para volver al Mar Germano.
En el Nuevo Castillo
el Main se hizo coronar
ante el salvaje jolgorio de los que aman el abismo
vitoreado por los cachorros recién incorporados
prole que coqueteó sin rubor con el desastre.
Tanto fasto nos distrajo del verdadero objetivo.
En la ciudad del Acero
la Masacre fue total.
En Crookes Road una generación enterró su corazón.
Desfeita eterna.
Nada volvería a ser lo mismo.

En los prolegómenos de la Octava
el Main pidió poderes absolutos.
"Es por vuestro bien".
Agradeció los servicios prestados a los veteranos
dándoles tierras en zonas fronterizas.
Cambiamos el negro por el rojo
y el estandarte del Jabalí se hizo más teutón.
Había runas por todas partes.
Volvimos al Norte de Su Norte
que siempre nos había sido gafe.
El Main viajó por su cuenta.
Arropado por pretorianos y lansquenetes
blancos, heterosexuales, cerveceros.
"No ganaremos de verdad en Inglaterra
hasta que lo hagamos desde Northumbria".
Molimos nuestras almas
hasta manar sangre.
Contra pronóstico,
aplastamos a los casacas rojas.
No hubo cuartel.
Un negro relámpago ascendente
iluminó nuestra victoria.

Convertidos en celebridades mundiales
preparamos la Novena Campaña.
En la resaca de la anterior
se había producido la Gran Limpieza.
No más delfines, ni pingüinos, ni sapoconchos,
solo uno escapó
para convertirse en el Mo Johnston galego.
También los jóvenes fueron aleccionados
ahora ya sabían distinguir colores
sus padres lloraban cuando partían hacia el gulag.

De la Primera Campaña solo quedábamos tres primigenios
y UNO ya no contaba.

No protesto: pisamos Escocia, Gales, Irlanda, Isla de Man.
Nos fue permitido viajar con familia por vez primera
y que cada uno lo hiciese por su cuenta.
Así la batalla fue una especie de picnic Bull Run
y como adoramos las flores frescas
ganamos otra vez
aunque a muchos de los míos los conocí en la misma mañana.
Por eso ya no consideré esta victoria como mía.
Ya no pude.
Demasiados soldados profesionales.
Demasiada élite.
Demasiada logística.
¿Dónde estaba la verdadera Manada?
¿Era esto lo que queríamos cuándo empezamos?
¿Turismo, familias, desconocidos que se presentaban como hermanos?

Así en el Tercer Tiempo de la Novena Campaña
en el Crazy Bird
pintas, huérfanas y tractores
solo para hombres
porque los viejos hábitos tardan en desvanecerse
todo lo que tenía dentro estalló
y pedí audiencia al Main.
-¿Puedo ser sincero?
- Claro, habla sin miedo. Eres de los pocos "Primeros" que permanecen.
Lo hice.
Hasta quedarme a gusto.
Hasta hacer harapos de mi voz.
- Te agradezco tus palabras.
- Las tomaré en cuenta.
- Te prometo que no te pasará nada.
- Eres un ejemplo para todos.
- Te voy a nombrar nuevo Willy Hagen.
- Vas a ser el Mariscal en la Décima.
- Prefiero que no me toques.
Estuvo así media hora.
Le creí.
El Main gana en las distancias cortas.
La brizna de hierba no carece
de lealtad que jamás fue contemplada.

Ahora mi Guardia ha terminado.
Agradezco la brisa y el balanceo.
No tanto el cuervo que me está quitando el ojo.
El Río Bann es un dios pardo y fuerte
hosco, indómito, intratable.

Ahora mi Guardia ha terminado.
El río evoca el ritual aciago del adios.
Hermanos, yo os lo juro, en esto no hago burlas;
más bien, rogad al Main que nos absuelva a todos.


1002 comentarios:

«A máis antiga   ‹Máis antiga   801 – 1000 de 1002   Máis recente ›   A máis nova»
  1. The 801st Air Division dixo...
  2. existe una especie de ecología de la epopeya. Las condiciones sociales necesarias que engendran la literatura heroica de cualquier cultura son de breve duración. Acaso la epopeya surja a partir del desorden primitivo evocado en tiempos de refinado desorden.

  3. Clogger dixo...
  4. Orballo Carallo es el arquetipo de tío holandés

  5. Tristan Corbière Calvados dixo...
  6. La farsa ha acabado. Debemos ir en busca de un gran quizá.

  7. O Tolo dixo...
  8. nin o lusco ten pra mín unha volvoreta tola

  9. Célebre Jabalí Antropomórfico dixo...
  10. Primero cae mi pelo erizado, luego se adelgaza mi gruesa piel, retrocede la hinchazón de mi vientre, mis pezuñas se convierten en dedos, mis manos dejan de ser pies y se elevan hacia su lugar y su misión, mi cuello alargado se encoge, mi boca y mi cabeza se redondean, mis enormes orejas vuelven a su antigua pequeñez, mis dientes como piedras vuelven a ser menudos y humanos, y el rabo, que era lo que principalmente me atormentaba, desaparece.

  11. Ciclos Bíblicos, Engranajes, y Superposiciones dixo...
  12. los ciclos de la historia siguen un sendero predeterminado.
    Y no podemos escapar de ellos.
    Como muchos engranajes de tamaño diferente, estos ciclos de la historia y de la profecía engranan sincronizadamente para producir la apariencia de eventos proféticos, tal como los engranajes de un reloj de cuclillo precisa e inevitablemente hacen que aparezca el pajarito en el momento preciso.
    Esa es la gran conclusión de esta gran entrada
    Ni el gran Individuo escapa de su rol de conducir la Manada

  13. Jean de Brissac de la Motte dixo...
  14. Sin esperanza, la nobleza es imposible
    Sin Anglogalician, el chorro no es moco

  15. Rojo Porcollóns dixo...
  16. Todos los adverbios son de acción y dirigen a los verbos.
    Quejarse de los malos modales es de malos modales.

  17. Miquiztli dixo...
  18. Una generación se va y la otra viene,
    y la tierra siempre permanece.
    El sol sale y se pone,
    y se dirige afanosamente hacia el lugar
    de donde saldrá otra vez.
    El viento va hacia el sur
    y gira hacia el norte;
    va dando vueltas y vueltas,
    y retorna sobre su curso.
    Todos los ríos van al mar
    y el mar nunca se llena;
    al mismo lugar donde van los ríos,
    allí vuelven a ir.
    Todas las cosas están gastadas,
    más de lo que se puede expresar.
    ¿No se sacia el ojo de ver
    y el oído no se cansa de escuchar?
    Lo que fue, eso mismo será;
    lo que se hizo, eso mismo se hará:
    ¡no hay nada nuevo bajo el sol!
    Si hay algo de lo que dicen:
    "Mira, esto sí que es algo nuevo",
    en realidad, eso mismo ya existió
    muchísimo antes que nosotros.
    No queda el recuerdo de las cosas pasadas,
    ni quedará el recuerdo de las futuras
    en aquellos que vendrán después.

  19. Bayağı Yaban Domuzu Otomano dixo...
  20. Lejos de los sanedrines que alojan lo más florido de la inhumanidad, el universo siempre conspira a favor de los soñadores.

    Al río que todo lo arranca lo llaman violento, pero nadie llama violento al lecho que lo oprime.

    Bertolt Brecht



  21. Inés Castro Barreto dixo...
  22. cuando citamos a Bertolt Brecht en el blog es hora de cerrarlo de una puta vez y que nos fulmine una lluvia de azufre

    La primera mujer de Brecht fue Marianne Zoff, con quien se casó cuando él tenía veinticuatro años, pocos meses después de que fuera estrenada su primera obra. Su relación con Mar, como él la llamaba, era la frecuente en un enamorado al que ciega la pasión: «Mar ha estado una semana conmigo en Possenhoffen. Ella es como el mar, siempre cambiando cuando varía la luz, imperturbable y fuerte. Las noches han sido translúcidas, como el ámbar. El agua nos bañaba y contemplaba cómo se unían nuestros cuerpos. Las sombras se han difuminado. La amo. Está más bella que nunca: éste ha sido el momento más hermoso del verano. »

    Más adelante, en la misma reflexión, el rebelde Brecht afila las plumas de su machismo: «La amo, pero ella no es inteligente. Y más tarde o más temprano me obliga a rebelarme», para explicar que sólo anota en su diario las cosas malas que le ocurren con Mar. Sin embargo, «su dulzura y la gracia que informa cualquier gesto que ella hace, su extraordinaria resonancia, no aparecen aquí». El joven Brecht justifica así su rudeza, pero días antes había explicado cuál era su criterio acerca de las mujeres: «Las mujeres nunca alcanzan a ver más allá de la cama... Se cambian su ropa interior, pero no rectifican sus errores.»

    La relación que Brecht estableció con Mar fue constantemente contradictoria y siempre apasionada. Su presencia podía darle la fortaleza del mar o proporcionarle «un ataque de soledad» que le hacía aparecer como un anciano al que le temblara todo el cuerpo. Brecht se convertía, en el amor y con motivo de la ausencia del amor, en un personaje melacolérico, como él mismo se definía.

    Admiración por el cuerpo femenino

    En esta primera época de su vida, tales sentimientos se confundían en Brecht con la admiraración ilimitada por el cuerpo femenino, que debía ser, según él, la primordial fuente de inspiración de un creador. La presencia de un cuerpo, por otra parte, era capaz de levantarle un horizonte sin tragedia: «Hoy la mujer que está más cerca de mi corazón habla malayo. El agua cae de mis ojos y éstos contemplan un nuevo fetiche. Qué simple es todo, qué suavemente se desliza uno por el camino, de qué manera todas las oscuras necesidades del cuerpo se superan y quedan como simples espasmos.» Una felicidad que en cualquier momento él trunca con sus celos. «Los celos -decía- son el único elemento que impide que el amor sea aburrido.» El joven Brecht amó a otras muchas mujeres. Con unas fue estable, con otras vivió una pasión fugaz. Con todas su aproximación al amor fue igualmente voraz y contradictoria.

  23. (Terra da Chispa...aínda???) dixo...
  24. Orballo
    Se te consideras tan galego e independentista por que escribes en castelán? Non o entendo. Auto-odio?

  25. Andar por los puertos es una de la formas de pereza que enriquece más dixo...
  26. Recogiendo bártulos
    La cosa está a 10 yardas del final
    me cago dentro
    No merecéis otra cosa

  27. Andar por los puertos es una de la formas de pereza que enriquece más dixo...
  28. @ 812

    Auto?
    tractores, como tu madre

  29. Andar por los puertos es una de la formas de pereza que enriquece más dixo...
  30. @ un soplapollas que no localizo
    equipos dela meseta o mediterráneos?

    Ningunos
    si es susto o muerte, cualquiera que no llene mi campo de visión de banderas españolas

  31. Andar por los puertos es una de la formas de pereza que enriquece más dixo...
  32. @ pajilleros inc

    actriz porno favorita?
    Lola Reve

  33. the pillowman dixo...
  34. Son diálogos que intentan reflejar la manera en la que hablamos de verdad. Si apuntásemos todo lo que decimos a lo largo de un día, parecería de locos. Es muy difícil hacer eso en una obra, pero intenté reproducir esa especie de locura del discurso

  35. un rebaño de perras dixo...
  36. vamos a entender la próxima entrada
    ¿?
    esa
    es
    mi pregunta

    Ectoplasma carnal, ideología y terrorismo carnívoro.

    ininteligible
    Del lat. inintelligibĭlis.
    1. adj. No inteligible.

  37. Las crónicas de un Sochantre armado con un sacho dixo...
  38. Los hombres redimidos que se han salvado de la horca predican la fe y la salvación eterna y aún tienen la desfachatez de hablar de libertad de expresión.

    Bizquean las farolas de los sueños míos mientras en su patio caen las pinzas de la ropa de algún dios. Todas las figuras imprecisas que se vuelven hacia mí son las sombras implacables de un hechizo que se asentaron hasta destrozarme.

    Recién comprendo bien la desesperación que te revuelve al gemir, milonga, gloriosa y mistonga, acariciaste el anochecer y zarandeaste el diapasón de una traición. De aquel pasado malevo y feroz conservo el rojo de la noche. ¿Son tus ojos quizá o en tu andar se estremece mi voz?

    Arrastras un dolor de bestia perdida que huye desesperadamente del puñal mientras soñás que te dormís mientras el mundo entero sigue yirando y yirando ignorándote.

    Hasta que rompa el alba sólo hay una verdad que prevalece: somos la consecuencia de lo que hemos ido abandonando.

  39. Semónides Amorgos dixo...
  40. Un hecho (real por definición) presupone que una o varias posibilidades se han realizado. Esto a su vez no es concebible a menos que nos sea posible aprehender estas potencialidades independientemente de su realización. En otras palabras, no podemos afirmar un hecho cualquiera salvo si tenemos acceso a una reserva de posibilidades que aprehendemos mentalmente.

  41. The man in the high castle dixo...
  42. Profeta es una voz griega, y designa al que habla por otro, o sea en lugar de otro; equivale por ende, en cierto sentido, a la voz "intérprete" o "vocero". Pero poco importa el significado de la voz griega; debemos recurrir a las fuentes, a la lengua hebrea misma. En el hebreo se designa al profeta con dos nombres muy significativos: El primero es "nabí" que significa "extático", "inspirado", a saber por Dios. El otro nombre es "roéh" o "choséh" que quiere decir "el vidente", el que ve lo que Dios le muestra en forma de visiones, ensueños, etc., ambos nombres expresan la idea de que el profeta es instrumento de Dios, hombre de Dios que no ha de anunciar su propia palabra sino la que el Espíritu de Dios le sopla e inspira.

    Según I Rey. 9, 9, el "vidente" es el precursor de los otros profetas; y efectivamente, en la época de los patriarcas, el proceso profético se desarrolla en forma de "visión" e iluminación interna, mientras que más tarde, ante todo en las "escuelas de profetas" se cultivaba el éxtasis, señal característica de los profetas posteriores que precisamente por eso son llamados "nabí".

    Otras denominaciones, pero metafóricas, son: vigía, atalaya, centinela, pastor, siervo de Dios, ángel de Dios (Is. 21, 1; 52, 8; Ez. 3, 17; Jer. 17, 16; IV Rey. 4, 25; 5, 8; Is. 20, 3; Am. 3, 7; Ag. 1, 13).

    El concepto de profeta se desprende de esos nombres. El es vidente u hombre inspirado por Dios. De lo cual no se sigue que el predecir las cosas futuras haya sido la única tarea del profeta; ni siquiera la principal. Había profetas que no dejaban vaticinios sobre el porvenir, sino que se ocupaban exclusivamente del tiempo en que les tocaba vivir. Pero todos -y en esto estriba su valor- eran voceros del Altísimo, portadores de un mensaje del Señor, predicadores de penitencia, anunciadores de los secretos de Yahvé, como lo expresa Amós: "El Señor no hace estas cosas sin revelar sus secretos a los profetas siervos suyos" (3, 7). El Espíritu del Señor los arrebataba, irrumpía sobre ellos y los empujaba a predicar aún contra la propia voluntad (Is. cap. 6; Jer. 1, 6). Tomaba a uno que iba detrás del ganado y le decía: "Ve, profetiza a mi pueblo Israel" (Am. 7, 15); sacaba a otro de detrás del arado (III Rey. 19, 19 ss.), o le colocaba sus palabras en la boca y tocaba sus labios (Jer. 1, 9), o le daba sus palabras literalmente a comer (Ez. 3, 3). El mensaje profético no es otra cosa que "Palabra de Yahvé", "oráculo de Yahvé", "carga de Yahvé", un "así dijo el Señor". La Ley divina, las verdades eternas, la revelación de los designios del Señor, la gloria de Dios y de su Reino, la venida del Mesías, la misión del pueblo de Dios entre las naciones, he aquí los temas principales de los profetas de Israel.

    En cuanto al modo en que se producían las profecías, hay que notar que la luz profética no residía en el profeta en forma permanente (II Pedro 1, 20 s.), sino a manera de cierta pasión o impresión pasajera (Santo Tomás). Consistía, en general, en una iluminación interna o en visiones, a veces ocasionadas por algún hecho presentado a los sentidos (por ejemplo, en Dan. 5, 25 por palabras escritas en la pared); en la mayoría de los casos, empero, solamente puestas ante la vista espiritual del profeta, por ejemplo, una olla colocada al fuego (Ez. 24, 1 ss.), los huesos secos que se cubren de piel (Ez. 37, 1 ss.); el gancho que sirve para recoger fruta (Am. 8, 1), la vara de almendro (Jer. 1, 11), los dos canastos de higos (Jer. 24, 1 ss.), etc., símbolo todos éstos que manifestaban la voluntad de Dios.

  43. Beatrice Lafoyet dixo...
  44. Servidumbre voluntaria la mía, de cara al lobo al que le gusta mirar. No me salvará lo humano. Nada de técnica, digo no a la estrategia. No seré yo la que se coloque pan en los oídos.

    Rómpeme en pedazos. Deshazte de mí misma. Libérame de esta máscara que me corroe y déjame sin rostro. Termina con mi Yo, limitándome a un nuevo presente a explorar. Expándeme acabándome y destruye el mío de mí en la hora del ahora. Seamos saliva. Saliva dulce, medrosa saliva. Semen en los párpados y flujo en las aceras. ¿Ven ustedes, ciudadanos, el nuevo río intravenoso? Fluidos. Ya no el elixir mecánico de saberes de pantalla. Ya no la antigua floritura. El puro coito existencial alargando el tiempo, ingrávido a las costumbres.

  45. fm dixo...
  46. Como un Eclesiastés empapado en alcohol.

  47. Gonzo Hearst o las Tribulations del periodismo feraz dixo...
  48. si noticia es todo aquello que no quieren que se publique, esta entrada es noticia

  49. Carlos Paun-Gogüan dixo...
  50. En asuntos de libre asociación el pájaro ágil es el alado.

    Ya saben, en el peso de músculo es normal que se concentre toda esa agua que se almacena con el glucógeno. ¡La cetosis, cuiden la cetosis!

  51. Félix Lope de Vega dixo...
  52. No existe ningún sentimiento más profundo que la cobardía. El hombre de hoy es desesperadamente cobarde. El hombre de hoy vive de espaldas a la divinidad. El hombre de hoy perece dándoles vueltas al crimen perfecto del propio hombre.

    Nuestro mundo sufre por falta de belleza. Ha arrasado el triunfo del ateísmo feroz, el agnosticismo analfabeto, el nihilismo grunge y el relativismo moral. Por nuestras calles proliferan hasta el hartazgo ético y estético hombres desnortados locos por esquilmarse cuales droides de cántaro lanar.

    Por ello, no olvidemos lo verdaderamente mollar del trampantojo: la estupidez se viste de ciberluces pero estúpida se queda. Porque los tuercebotas son eso: tuercebotas.

  53. Ahora, difusa impunidad de dispersión o huida. dixo...
  54. siempre se aplaude a la contra.

    Toda renuncia es una victoria de la insolente verdad. Al igual que este poema es una propuesta moral a distancia. Es decir, un texto recostado dispuesto a disimular.

    No hay implicación posible para los prófugos. Todo acto tiene una consecuencia. No basta decir.

  55. Sláine dixo...
  56. Reelaborar la experiencia del lenguaje siempre es una consecuencia de la experiencia vivida. Es decir, una abnegada manifestación de derrota.

    Quien se entrega corre el riesgo de caer en líneas del enemigo. Todo lo que sea excederse en la autocomplacencia del propio ombligo supone un inventario del ideario ajeno.

    Igual que los frenos no sirven para correr por la autopista, cualquier conversación acaba siendo una burda discusión.


    Con la niebla devorándonos el alma, la soledad no deja de ser una férrea fuente primordial y estable en esta desnortada remembranza que amenaza con hundirnos en una sed eterna.

    Días de vino y fuego forzando la perífrasis de la lealtad a la humedad de la infidelidad. Todo un torrente para un mismo afluente egoísta y mezquino.


    Entre la acción y la melancolía, solo nos queda el 100% de nada.

  57. Xandor Korzybskin dixo...
  58. Una entrada que no llegará a las 1.000 piontas aunque ya le vale

    1500 comentarios entre Marzo y Abril. Sospechoso?

    LO peor de todo es la ideología impregnada con pólvora. Somos eslabones de una cadena, somos portadores de una antorcha que antaño prendieron otros. Quiénes?

    Somos los Guardianes de la Tradición, somos carne de cañón, somo algo que ya pasó.

    Un post reaccionario e irracional. Un himno salvaje de Viva la Muerte y Heil The Main.

    Casualidad?, Venga, no me jodas

  59. bohemio y rapsoda dixo...
  60. Muchos de ellos son normales porque se han ajustado muy bien a nuestro modo de existencia, porque su voz humana ha sido acallada a una edad tan temprana de sus vidas que ya ni siquiera luchan, padecen o tienen síntomas, en contraste con lo que al neurótico le sucede. Son normales no en lo que podrían llamarse el sentido absoluto de la palabra, sino únicamente en relación con una sociedad profundamente anormal. Su perfecta adaptación a esa sociedad anormal es una medida de la enfermedad mental que padecen. Estos millones de personas anormalmente normales, que viven sin quejarse en una sociedad a la que, si fueran seres humanos cabales, no deberían estar adaptados, todavía acarician “la ilusión de la individualidad”, pero de hecho, han quedado en gran medida desindividualizados

  61. Judge Dredd dixo...
  62. Él es la Ley, y pobre de ti si lo olvidas

  63. El Barbero del Main dixo...
  64. la barba está a nivel de “me afeite esta mañana”.
    La corbata, bien apretada

  65. Hammer Of Gods dixo...
  66. En un futuro sombrío y borracho de tecnología, los senderos del pasado y del Honor todavía perduran.

  67. Persiguiendo una marea de metáforas masturbatorias dixo...
  68. Bite Me Fanboy

  69. La cosa funciona así dixo...
  70. El observador deviene en observado en el círculo infinito de la paranoia

  71. O Xoves Hai Cocido dixo...
  72. 2 cocidillos de cerdo
    ¼ de Kg de tocino curado
    1 col pequeña
    8 patatas medianas
    ½ Kg zanahorias
    8 puerros
    1 cebollita
    Sal

    En una cazuela grande, hervir en agua los codillos y el tocino.

    A la media hora, añadir las patatas peladas, las zanahorias, la cebolla y los puerros (todo entero y bien lavado).

    Cuando haya pasado otra media hora de hervor lento, añadir también la col, partida en 4 trozos.

    Esperar otro cuarto de hora y el plato estará listo. Rectificar de sal.

    El caldo se reserva, sirviéndose lo demás seco, en una fuente plana.

  73. /nor-noroeste-a-viaxe-bravu/ dixo...
  74. cando as guitarras chegaron ás aldeas e os porcos a Yardley Agobios

  75. Anacolutos hiperbólicos dixo...
  76. cando xustificas un cut.up do carallo

    Así, en esta Anglogalician, cuando se pone el sol y me siento en el viejo y destrozado malecón contemplando los vastos, vastísimos cielos de North Fork y se mete en mi interior toda esa tierra descarnada que se recoge en una enorme ola precipitándose sobre el Finis Terrae, y todas esas orange plank roads que van hacia allí, y toda la gente que sueña en esa inmensidad, y sé que en Port Drake ahora deben estar percutiendo las huérfanas en la tierra donde se deja a las huérfanas percutir, y esta noche saldrán las estrellas (¿no sabéis que el Rodillo es un ángel caído?), y la estrella de la tarde dedicará sus mejores destellos a la pradera justo antes de que sea totalmente de noche, esa noche que es una bendición para la tierra, que oscurece los ríos, se traga las cumbres de gloria y envuelve la orilla final del Bann, y nadie, nadie sabe lo que le va a pasar a nadie excepto que todos seguirán desamparados y haciéndose viejos, pienso en ganar el Laurence Bowles, y hasta pienso en jugar un día con los porcos bravos, ese Hato al que nunca encontramos, sí, pienso en La Causa y en los pubs en llamas de Yardley Gobion.

    -ainda que agora non hai L.B nin C.D
    só Main, Main, Main, Main

  77. Vou ó Carniceiro dixo...
  78. Ferro, barullo, caucho, remolques
    Mil tractores baixan do monte
    Pan, lacon e viño, paus e marras
    Ferve o sangue, barricada agraria
    Se non razoan levamos a Armando
    Que armando unha boa van razoando
    Sete chavellas, sete estadullos
    Dalle no lombo, dalle nas ventas!
    Arde o ferro do motor
    Ei Kubota ei Motransa
    Fume negro do tractor
    Galicia tomada pola tractorada!
    NON PASARÁN, TRATORADA!
    NON PASARÁN, DALLE FERRO!
    NON PASARÁN, TRATORADA!
    NON PASARÁN!
    Co terceiro punto en alto
    Dilles que se acheguen, Dilles que discutan
    Rodas de corenta lonas
    Gasolina dalles lume!
    Un remolque cheo de pedras
    E unha vella cun fouciño
    Hai machadas, hai galletas
    Corre o sangue polas veas!
    NON PASARAN...
    E se non se pode vivir
    Pola culpa do progreso
    A próxima tractorada
    Hache de ser no Congreso.
    Fabricantes de iogures
    Leite en polvo e desnatada
    Din que hai demasiado leite
    E agora chamanlle excedentes
    Din que hai demasiado leite
    E a algún macho xa lle ferve
    Baixan as vacas doentes
    Baixan ensinando os dentes!
    Arde o ferro do motor
    Ei Kubota, ei Motransa
    Fume negro de tractor
    Galicia tomada pola tractorada!
    NON PASARAN...

  79. el hijo del chacal dixo...
  80. Puedes seguir como víctima de tu pureza o aceptar la verdad sin mácula

    y

    aprender la orange plank road de la Bestia.

  81. ¿Qué rondará alrededor de la virilidad de un Zulú que saluda formalmente a la reina de Inglaterra? dixo...
  82. Mi idolatrada
    filóloga-felatriz
    oraliza
    la ausencia de Lilith.
    Lilith no es Sally Kidd, tijeras.

  83. cuando el tiranicidio es necesario (cuándo no?) dixo...
  84. Cada vez que algo
    podría pasar y no pasa,
    se crea un universo
    paralelo en nuestra imaginación.

    Es vuestro miedo

  85. Brann Rilke dixo...
  86. Tras múltiples turbulencias del excretor volcán de turno, orilló un porco bravo su rabolongo cual pensamiento (soledad estrangulándose), opalizando la mirada de eternidad-orgulloymiedo-delenvejecimiento, tuvo valor para alzarse en mitad del Atlántico, consciente de su pequeñez ante el tesoro de cultura-ser-naturaleza que su paladar privilegiado gozará frugalmente...

  87. Chupa chups dixo...
  88. Hizo un abnegado intento de buscar la palabra. La buscó a través de las montañas, cavó túneles y removió valles. Profanó tumbas y arrasó ciudades hasta que no quedó nadie en la tierra que no fuese afectado por aquella fastuosa cruzada en busca de una única palabra.


    Pero no la encontró de este modo. La encontraría, sin darse cuenta, a través de las edades

  89. Los perfopoetas salen a la calle dixo...
  90. Dijo el mulo al Pastor._Main._

    - MUUUUUUUUU

    - Qué buena idea. La publicaré.

  91. Deja un comentario dixo...
  92. y te regalamos una lápida

  93. Jack Tar dixo...
  94. I soon got used to this singing, for the sailors never touched a rope without it . . . Some sea captains, before shipping a man, always ask him whether he can sing out at a rope.

  95. Centinela dixo...
  96. Hace ya cuatro días, mientras me hallaba escribiendo con una ligera irritación algunas de las páginas más falsas de mis memorias, oí golpear levemente a la puerta pero no me levanté ni respondí. Los golpes eran demasiado débiles y no me gusta tratar con tímidos.
    Al día siguiente, a la misma hora, oí llamar nuevamente; esta vez los golpes eran más fuertes y resueltos. Pero tampoco quise abrir ese día porque no estimo absolutamente a quienes se corrigen demasiado pronto.
    El día posterior, siempre a la misma hora, los golpes fueron repetidos en tono violento y antes de que pudiese levantarme vi abrirse la puerta y adelantarse la mediocre figura de un hombre bastante joven, con el rostro algo encendido y la cabeza cubierta de cabellos rojos y crespos que se inclinaba torpemente sin decir palabra. No bien encontró una silla se arrojó encima y como yo permanecía de pie me indicó el sillón para que me sentara. Después de obedecerlo, creí tener el derecho de preguntarle quién era y le rogué, con tono nada cortés, que me indicara su nombre y la razón que lo había forzado a invadir mi cuarto. Pero el hombre no se alteró y de inmediato me hizo comprender que deseaba seguir siendo por el momento lo que hasta entonces era para mi: un desconocido.
    -El motivo que me trae ante usted -prosiguió sonriendo- se halla dentro de mi cartera y se lo haré conocer enseguida.
    En efecto, advertí que llevaba en la mano un maletín de cuero amarillo sucio con guarniciones de latón gastado que abrió al momento extrayendo de él un libro.
    -Este libro -dijo poniéndome ante la vista el grueso volumen forrado de papel náutico con grandes flores de rojo herrumbe- contiene una historia imaginaria que he creado, inventado, redactado y copiado. No he escrito más que esto en toda mi vida y me atrevo a creer que no le desagradará. Hasta ahora no le conocía más que su nombradía y sólo hace unos pocos días una mujer que lo ama me dijo que es usted uno de los pocos hombres que no se aterra de sí mismo y el único que ha tenido el valor de aconsejar la muerte a muchos de sus semejantes. A causa de esto he pensado leerle mi historia, que narra la vida de un hombre fantástico al que le ocurren las más singulares e insólitas aventuras. Cuando usted la haya escuchado me dirá qué debo hacer. Si mi historia le agrada, me prometerá hacerme célebre en el plazo de un año; si no le gusta me mataré dentro de veinticuatro horas. Dígame si acepta estas condiciones y comenzaré.
    Comprendí que no podía hacer otra cosa que proseguir en esa actitud pasiva que había mantenido hasta entonces y le indiqué, con un gesto que no logró ser amable, que lo escucharía y haría todo lo que deseaba.
    "¿Quien podrá ser -pensaba entre mí- la mujer que me ama y le habló de mí a este hombre? Jamás he sabido que me amara una mujer y si ello hubiera ocurrido no lo habría tolerado porque no hay situación más incómoda y ridícula que la de los ídolos de un animal cualquiera..." Pero el desconocido me arrancó de estos pensamientos con un zapateo poco elocuente pero claro. El libro estaba abierto y mi atención era considerada necesaria.
    El hombre comenzó la lectura. Las primeras palabras se me escaparon; puse mayor atención en las siguientes. De pronto agucé el oído y sentí un breve estremecimiento en la espalda. Diez o veinte segundos más tarde mi rostro enrojeció; mis piernas se movieron nerviosamente; al cabo de otros diez segundos me incorporé. El desconocido suspendió la lectura y me miró, interrogándome humildemente con la mirada. Yo también lo miré del mismo modo e incluso como suplicando, pero estaba demasiado aturdido para echarlo y le dije simplemente, como cualquier idiota sociable:
    -Continúe, se lo ruego.

  97. Centinela dixo...
  98. La extraordinaria lectura continuó. No podía estarme quieto en el sillón y los escalofríos recorrían no sólo mi espalda, sinó también la cabeza y el cuerpo entero. Si hubiese visto mi cara en un espejo tal vez me hubiera reído y todo habría pasado, ya que probablemente reflejaba un abyecto estupor y un furor indeciso. Traté por un momento de no seguir oyendo las palabras del calmo lector pero no logré sino confundirme más y escuché íntegra, palabra por palabra, pausa tras pausa, la historia que el hombre leía con su cabeza roja inclinada sobre el bien encuadernado volumen. ¿Que podía o debía hacer en tan especialísima circunstancia? ¿Aferrar al maldito lector, morderlo y lanzarlo fuera del cuarto como a un fantasma inoportuno?
    ¿Pero por qué debía hacer eso? Sin embargo, aquella lectura me producía un fastidio inexpresable, una impresión penosísima de sueño absurdo y desagradable sin esperanza de poder despertar. Creí por un momento que caería en un furor convulsivo y vi en mi imaginación a un enfermero uniformado de blanco que me ponía la camisa de fuerza con infinitas y desmañadas precauciones.
    Pero finalmente terminó la lectura. No recuerdo cuántas horas duró, pero aún en medio de mi confusión noté que el lector tenía la voz ronca y la frente húmeda de sudor. Una vez cerrado el libro y guardado en su maletín, el desconocido me miró con ansiedad aunque su mirada no tenía ya la avidez del comienzo. Mi abatimiento era tan grande que él mismo lo advirtió y su admiración aumentó enormemente al ver que me restregaba un ojo y no sabía qué contestarle. Me parecía en ese momento que nunca más podría volver a hablar y hasta las cosas más simples que me rodeaban se presentaron a mis ojos tan extrañas y hostiles que casi tuve una sensación de repugnancia. Todo esto parece demasiado vil y vergonzoso; pienso lo mismo y no tengo indulgencia alguna para mi turbación. Pero el motivo de mi desequilibrio era de mucho peso: la historia que aquel hombre había leído era la narración detallada y completa de toda mi vida íntima interior y exterior. Durante aquel lapso yo había escuchado la relación minuciosa, fiel, inexorable de todo lo que había sentido, soñado y hecho desde que vine al mundo. Si un ser divino, lector de corazones y testigo invisible, hubiese estado a mi lado desde mi nacimiento y hubiera escrito lo que observó de mis pensamientos y de mis acciones, habría redactado una historia perfectamente igual a la que el ignoto lector declaraba imaginaria e inventada por él. Las cosas más pequeñas y secretas eran recordadas y ni siquiera un sueño o un amor o una vileza oculta o un cálculo innoble escaparon al escritor. El terrible libro contenía hasta sucesos o matices de pensamiento que ya había olvidado y que recordaba solamente al escucharlas.
    Mi confusión y mi temor provenían de esta exactitud impecable y de esta inquietante escrupulosidad. Jamás había visto a ese hombre; ese hombre afirmaba no haberme visto nunca. Yo vivía muy solitario, en una ciudad a la que nadie viene si no es forzado por el destino o la necesidad, y a ningún amigo, si aun podía decir que los tenía, le había confiado nunca mis aventuras de cazador furtivo, mis viajes de salteador de almas, mis ambiciones de buscador de lo inverosímil. No había escrito nunca, ni para mí ni para los demás, una relación completa y sincera de mi vida y justamente en aquellos días estaba fabricando fingidas memorias para ocultarme a los hombres incluso después de la muerte.
    ¿Quien, pues, podía haberle dicho a ese visitante todo lo que narraba sin pudor y sin piedad en su odioso libro forrado de papel antiguo color herrumbre? ¡Y él afirmaba que había inventado esa historia y me presentaba, a mí, mi vida, mi vida entera, como una historia imaginaria!

  99. Centinela dixo...
  100. Me hallaba terriblemente turbado y conmovido, pero de una cosa estaba bien seguro: ese libro no debía ser divulgado entre los hombres. Aun cuando debiera morir ese increíble infeliz autor y lector, yo no podía permitir que mi vida fuese difundida y conocida en el mundo, entre todos mis impersonales enemigos. Esta decisión, que sentí firme y sólida en mi fuero íntimo, comenzó a reanimarme levemente. El hombre continuaba mirándome con aire consternado y casi suplicante. Habían transcurrido sólo dos minutos desde que terminó su lectura y no parecía haber comprendido el motivo de mi turbación. Finalmente, pude hablar.
    -Discúlpeme, señor -le pregunté-. ¿Usted asegura que esta historia ha sido verdaderamente inventada por usted?
    -Precisamente -respondió el enigmático lector ya un poco tranquilizado-, la he pensado e imaginado yo durante muchos años y cada tanto hice retoques y cambios en la vida de mi héroe. Sin embargo, todo ello pertenece a mi inventiva.
    Sus palabras me incomodaban cada vez más, pero logré formular todavía otra pregunta:
    -Dígame, por favor: ¿está usted verdaderamente seguro de no haberme conocido antes de ahora? ¿De no haber escuchado nunca narrar mi vida a alguien que me conozca?
    El desconocido no pudo contener una sonrisa asombrada al oír mis palabras.
    -Le he dicho ya -contestó- que hasta hace poco tiempo no conocía más que su nombre y que solamente hace unos días supe que usted acostumbraba aconsejar la muerte. Pero nada más conozco sobre usted.
    Su condena estaba ya decidida y era necesario que no demorase en ser ejecutada.
    -¿Está siempre dispuesto -le pregunté con solemnidad- a mantener las condiciones establecidas por usted mismo antes de comenzar la lectura?
    -Sin ninguna duda -respondió con un ligero temblor en la voz-. No tengo otras puertas a las que llamar y esta obra es mi vida entera. Siento que no podría hacer ninguna otra cosa.
    -Debo entonces decirle -agregué con la misma solemnidad, pero atemperada por cierta melancolía- que su historia es estúpida, aburrida, incoherente y abominable. Su héroe, como usted lo llama, no es sino un malandrín aburrido que disgustará a cualquier lector refinado. No quiero ser demasiado cruel agregándole todavía más detalles.
    Comprobé que el hombre no aguardaba estas palabras y me di cuenta de que sus párpados se cerraron instantáneamente. Pero al mismo tiempo reconocí que su poder sobre mí mismo era igual a su honestidad. De inmediato reabrió los ojos y me miró sin temor y sin odio.
    -¿Quiere acompañarme afuera? -me preguntó con voz demasiado dulce para ser natural.
    -Cómo no -respondí, y luego de ponerme el sombrero salimos de la casa sin hablar.
    El desconocido llevaba siempre en la mano su maletín de cuero amarillo y yo lo seguí delirante hasta la orilla del río que corría caudaloso y resonante entre las negras murallas de piedra. Una vez que echó una mirada a su alrededor y comprobó que no se hallaba nadie que tuviese aspecto de salvador se volvió hacia mí diciendo:
    -Perdóneme si mi lectura lo hartó. Creo que nunca más me tocará aburrir a un ser viviente. Olvídese de mí no bien le sea posible.

  101. Centinela dixo...
  102. Y estas fueron justamente sus últimas palabras, porque saltando ágilmente el parapeto y con rápido empuje se arrojó al río con su maletín. Me asomé para verlo una vez más pero el agua yo lo había recibido y cubierto. Una niña tímida y rubia se había percatado del rápido suicidio pero no pareció asombrarla demasiado y continuó su camino comiendo avellanas. Volví a casa después de realizar algunas tentativas inútiles. Apenas entré en mi cuarto me extendí sobre la cama y me adormecí sin demasiado esfuerzo, como abatido y quebrantado por lo inexplicable.
    Esta mañana me desperté muy tarde y con una extraña impresión. Me parece estar ya muerto y esperar solamente que vengan a sepultarme. He tomado inmediatamente previsiones para mi funeral y fui personalmente a la empresa de pompas fúnebres con el fin de que nada sea descuidado. A cada momento espero que traigan el ataúd. Siento ya pertenecer a otro mundo y todas las cosas que me circundan tienen un indecible aire de cosas pasadas, concluidas, sin ningún interés para mí.
    Un amigo me ha traído flores y le dije que podía esperar para ponerlas sobre mi tumba. Me pareció que sonreía, pero los hombres sonríen siempre cuando no comprenden nada.
    La Juventus (el juventus para los hispters mesetarios) tiene ya 32 scudetti, aunque ellos cuentan 34. Los dos de la discordia los perdieron por trampas, lo cual en un fútbol de males endémicos como el italiano, tampoco es muy grave. Dopajes, compra venta de partidos, apuestas ilegales, ¿qué más da?
    Un usuario único nos solicita esta canción. Esperemos que triunfe.

  103. Andar por los puertos es una de la formas de pereza que enriquece más dixo...
  104. Vamos a ir despidiéndonos. Todo acaba, y no tiene sentido prolongarlo más. Cojámonos de la mano, inclinémonos y saludemos al público. Bañémonos en sus aplausos. Esta es la última función, hemos vuelto a darlo todo. Al mirar atrás veremos nuestro trabajo, nuestros progresos, nuestros triunfos y nuestros fracasos. Las caídas que salvamos y las que no. Las idas y venidas sobre las tablas y los nervios entre bambalinas.

  105. Andar por los puertos es una de la formas de pereza que enriquece más dixo...
  106. eu fáloa porque sí, porque me gosta,
    porque me peta e quero e dame a gaña;
    porque me sai de dentro, alá do fondo
    dunha tristura aceda que me abrangue
    ao ver tantos patufos desleigados,
    pequenos mequetrefes sin raíces
    que ao pór a garabata xa nan saben
    afirmarse no amor dos devanceiros,
    falar a fala nai,
    a fala dos abós que temos mortos,
    e ser, co rostro erguido,
    mariñeiros, labregos do lingoaxe,
    remo i arado, proa e rella sempre.
    Eu fáloa porque sí, porque me gosta
    e quero estar cos meus, coa xente miña,
    perto dos homes bos que sofren longo
    unha historia contada noutra lingoa.
    Non falo pra os soberbios,
    non falo pra os ruis e poderosos,
    non falo pra os finchados,
    non falo pra os valeiros,
    non falo pra os estúpidos,
    que falo pra os que agoantan rexamente
    mentiras e inxusticias de cotío;
    pra os que súan e choran
    un pranto cotidián de volvoretas,
    de lume e vento sobre os ollos núos.
    Eu non podo arredar as miñas verbas
    de tódolos que sofren neste mundo.
    E ti vives no mundo, terra miña,
    berce da miña estirpe,
    Galicia, Miña Nai
    deitada rente ao mar, ise camiño...

  107. Selecto y Desopilante Batidor de Conejos Muertos dixo...
  108. “Lo mejor será que bailemos”
    “¿Y qué nos juzguen de locos, Sr. Conejo?”
    “Usted conoce cuerdos felices?”
    “Tiene razón, ¡¡bailemos!!”.

  109. Selecto y Desopilante Batidor de Conejos Muertos dixo...
  110. Le comenté:
    –Me entusiasman tus ojos.
    Y ella dijo:
    –¿Te gustan solos o con rimel?
    –Grandes,
    respondí sin dudar.
    Y también sin dudar
    me los dejó en un plato y se fue a tientas.

  111. Ariadna busca un minotauro dixo...
  112. Quizá, en otro mundo, la guerra haya sido solo en el sofá.

    Ahora una araña se ha posado en mis medias y el susto ha sido bastante más pequeño que tantos otros que me he llevado hoy. De un manotazo la he lanzado al suelo y solo me ha quedado desear que todos los manotazos fueran así de grandes para cosas tan pequeñas, que todos los manotazos rompiesen tórax y patas y dejasen un cadáver informe.
    Entonces, al mirar, sí que se ha roto todo. "No estás bastante ciega", me han dicho. "Demasiado ciega he estado", he contestado yo. Y crack crack crack iban cayendo pedazos que la gente pisaba y yo lloraba y gritaba por dentro que ya era suficiente, que por qué había vuelto.

    Le he suplicado que parase y en silencio se lo he suplicado a los demás pero cabeza, manos, cuerpos estaban en otra parte que ya no era de mi jurisdicción.

  113. El último lastre que arrojé por la borda fueron las palabras. dixo...
  114. No ignoro que el recurso de beber para huir es un viejo truco pero ¿conoces alguno más eficaz para escapar de ti mismo? Una pinta acartona el recuerdo, pero al propio tiempo convierte la onerosa gravedad de tu cuerpo en una suerte de porosidad flotante. Algo parecido a la fiebre. Pasado el trance, sobreviene el decaimiento, pero hay un medio para evitarlo: mantener en sangre una dosis de alcohol que te imbuya la impresión de que participas en la vida, de que la vida no pasa sobre el hoyo en que te pudres sin advertir que existes. Esta forma de energía suele identificarse con la alegría, aunque, por supuesto, no es alegría. A lo sumo, una energía inferior, improductiva; en caso contrario yo trabajaría. Pero mi ingenio, si alguna vez existió, se ha agotado; ya lo estás viendo: no soy capaz de embadurnar un lienzo, ni siquiera de sostener un pincel en la mano y menor de ir en una campaña

  115. El rostro gótico, glabro dixo...
  116. Puesto que no es posible un crecimiento infinito en un planeta finito sepultar entre escombros los remordimientos tiene algo de lenguaje venéreo intravenoso: porque de todo lo vivido, de todo lo perdido a penas sobrevive la sombra de un instante

  117. El Fulano Ulano Ufano dixo...
  118. La costumbre de superfluas ambiciones llegan al abuso de autoridad como el trámite de la pura formalidad de tiranía y circunspectos prodigios terroristas. Entonces, renunciar a crecer bajo el dogma sectaria del adolescente eterno necesita de una férrea voluntad.

    Pensamos que la prueba más evidente de que hay vida inteligente ahí fuera es que no han intentado ponerse en contacto con nosotros. A partir de cierta edad la vida es muy dura y la oscuridad el color de fondo: empiezas a ser un héroe cansado.

    En el zen se dice “cuando tú te subes a un mástil y no puedes bajar ¿Qué haces cuando has llegado a la punta? Das un paso en el vacío”…Ya saben, “a uno le espera el destino esencial de su vida en el lugar más trivial, el más fútil de todos”. Ya saben, con la ironía se nace o es la consecuencia de una vida instructiva.

    Todas esas necesidades creadas (nadie cuando nace necesita de alcohol ni tabaco para vivir): morirse sin cafeína ni chocolatina será una gran aventura…

  119. El Fulano Ulano Ufano dixo...
  120. El problema con el mundo es que los estúpidos están seguros y los inteligentes llenos de dudas
    en la Anglogalician es al revés

  121. Algo esconde, te miente, es un farsante, no le creas, trama algo, no te fíes, es un bicho. dixo...
  122. De modo que aquí estamos, otra vez, el mismo rito.
    Cada cierto tiempo, el mismo cuento.
    Problemas surgen, aflora el miedo.
    El ciclo en continuo movimiento.

    No me mires con cara de cordero.

  123. Charles Ardant Dupiq B'Auverville dixo...
  124. No puede uno entender como es capaz de distinguir cada grito. Solo lleva el ridículo sombrero de explorador inglés y una bayoneta cortante de escrotos, amén de su biblia recogida en su bolsillo derecho, envuelta en trapos que imitaron la seda.
    En la orilla no es capaz de mostrar su cuerpo desnudo, tiene picores en la conciencia. Conocido por ayudar a los chicos a construir deliciosos castillos de arena (propensa transformación a hormigón tensado).

    Ha vuelto a recurrir a su bayoneta. Una calificación CASI PERFECTA. Bigote temeroso a la sal sobre la hoja.

  125. Jacobo Maíz dixo...
  126. Resistencia del árbol, tan dura, tan humana,
    como la del soldado que entre los vendavales
    de la muerte nocturna ve crecer la mañana
    florida nuevamente de ramos inmortales.

  127. hazañas bélicas dixo...
  128. ¡El Jabato! ¡El jabato! ¡El jabato! ¡El jabato! ¡El jabato!¡Oh! ¡Ah! ¡El jabato! Un héroe que no envejece. ¡Oh! ¡Ah! Agarra la espada con la fuerza de un toro. Se desplaza con la agilidad de un lince. Y es astuto y osado para superar cualquier prueba y encerrona. Ningún romano podrá apresarlo. Restarle vitalidad. Como tampoco podrá hacerlo ninguna orden secreta o animal salvaje. ¡Oh! ¡Ah! Porque el jabato es una fiera. Es una roca. Un hombre que no se rinde ni fatiga. Ni conoce la derrota. Vive luchando. ¡Oh! ¡Ah! Sin miedo a morir. Pero también sin reglas ni más normas que las que le dicte el corazón. Consiguiendo por ello hipnotizarnos. Conseguir que ojear uno de los cómics en que aparece, sea aún una experiencia emocionante. Una vía a la felicidad repleta de páginas que consiguen que no separe mis ojos de ellas. Durante horas y minutos. Como lo hacían los protagonistas de Arrebato contemplando antiguas estampas y carteles. Viejos afiches de Las minas del rey Salomón de hipnotizantes colores que lograban que voláramos. El espíritu se fuera de la habitación donde estábamos a medida que se escuchaban palabras procedentes de los cuentos de Las 1001 noches, de aquella canción de Golpes Bajos, "Hansel y Gretel o se mencionaban determinados nombres: el capitán Nemo, Giacomo Casanova, Sibelius o Ulises el astuto. Alguien, un libro, una imagen o el holograma de una película evocaba la memoria de antiguos pueblos; el acadio, los tracios, lo hititas, los nubios o los persas. O en las tablillas de un museo, podía contemplar la escritura mesopotámica y egipcia. La cuneiforme y la jeroglífica. Y un remo perteneciente a un barco fenicio. Una noche de verano en que me adentro en El libro de los muertos y otra en que conozco el deseo de inmortalidad de Gilgamesh. Terenci Moix con traje de gladiador hablando de Cleopatra ante una mastaba. Charlton Heston recorriendo un planeta salvaje perseguido por cientos de simios. Tribus africanas quemando vivos a unos cuantos alemanes. Bruce Chatwin tomando, como si fuera un mono, un plátano sobre una colina desde la que contempla Petra. López Ufarte levantando el título de liga en Atocha. Conan el bárbaro besando a una joven pelirroja que en realidad es una anciana hechicera. Tarzán arrojándose a un lago repleto de cocodrilos. Y viejos cuentos infantiles narrados con aterradora voz por una profesora disfrazada de Caperucita Roja frente a un grupo de niños entre los que me encuentro yo. Vestido como un pirata. Pegando martillazos al suelo. Y acariciando un cómic de El jabato. Pensando que, ¡oh! ¡ah!, ese hombre es invencible. Es capaz de convertirse en una fiera. Rugir como un tigre y amar sin comprometerse. Es un nómada, un desterrado que sin embargo pareciera que será el monarca de un exótico reino en el porvenir. Tendrá una efigie en la selva y caminará a cuatro patas por los ríos como una pantera. Será compañero de el hombre enmascarado y ambos erigirán una república opuesta a todo imperialismo donde el pan y los peces, y también vinagre y manzanas, se repartirán entre todos sus habitantes. .

  129. bélicas hazañas dixo...
  130. Y aún así no habrá paz. Porque para los hombres como el jabato, el reposo no existe. Deben luchar contra cartagineses y romanos. Contradecir a Espartaco el tracio y Julio César. Oponer su espada a la de Aníbal y su orgullo al ego envanecido de Nerón. ¡Oh! ¡Ah! A veces son bárbaros y otras cultos. ¡Oh! ¡Ah! A veces deben pelear y otras huir. Penetrando en tumbas de las que emergen fortalecidos. O atravesando los aires apoyándose en lianas, atreviéndose a desafiar a Ícaro. Y hasta a los dioses. Porque los héroes como el jabato, ¡oh! ¡ah! son inmortales. Eternos. Como la memoria de los faraones egipcios. Los hombres que invirtieron su fortuna para alistarse en las cruzadas. Los guerreros que murieron defendiendo Constantinopla. Los antiguos leprosos. Los hambrientos arrojados en las esquinas de Troya. Black Sabbath realizando un concierto en un castillo repleto de cruces gamadas envueltas en círculos de fuego rojo. Los caballeros de la tabla redonda bebiendo vino vigilados por enormes arañas. Un sueño de Alan Moore y una pesadilla de Aleister Crowley. Jimy Hendrix quemándose los dedos al incendiar una guitarra tras hacer el amor con una serpiente. Petrarca volviendo a escribir otro poema dedicado a Laura. O el mago Merlín invocando un conjuro mientras cae por las grietas del suelo levantado tras un terremoto

  131. Captain Beyond- Captain Beyond dixo...
  132. La mejor combinación posible entre pasión y ridículo.
    La épica campaba entonces a sus anchas

  133. IMWT dixo...
  134. A pesar de que seamos ajusticiados por la espalda
    y nos esperen
    con balas hechas de arreglos dentales nuestros,
    juremos con gloria supervivir
    sobre la tumba de la posteridad.

  135. Selecto y Desopilante Batidor de Conejos Muertos dixo...
  136. Voy a quitarte un peso de encima diciéndote aquello que te repites en soledad y furioso y que nadie de tu entorno ratificaría ante un amigo:

    Todos son unos miserables vendidos al sistema.
    Todos son unos lameculos rendidos a un líder necio que les explota.
    Todos son unos cobardes que disfrutan la mediocridad de sus vidas.
    Todos son sordomudos ante las injusticias más aberrantes.
    Todos son unos mercenarios al servicio de la razón pura.


    Bien, una vez despejado el terreno y allanado el camino, ahora te digo: tú no tienes porque terminar así si tu espíritu es firme y noble para con los quehaceres de la vida elevada; para ti, amigo desconocido, aún existe la esperanza de ejercer un magisterio prolijo y fraternal para con la liberación del individuo celeste.

  137. Centinela dixo...
  138. Los lecheros del facebook decidieron de mañana que nuestros minutos musicales de hoy atentaban contra el destino manifiesto de su pandemónium. Una canción en italiano con subtítulos en inglés. Parece ser que este tramo del texto original:
    "Y estas fueron justamente sus últimas palabras, porque saltando ágilmente el parapeto y con rápido empuje se arrojó al río con su maletín. Me asomé para verlo una vez más pero el agua yo lo había recibido y cubierto. Una niña tímida y rubia se había percatado del rápido suicidio pero no pareció asombrarla demasiado y continuó su camino comiendo avellanas. Volví a casa después de realizar algunas tentativas inútiles. Apenas entré en mi cuarto me extendí sobre la cama y me adormecí sin demasiado esfuerzo, como abatido y quebrantado por lo inexplicable.
    Esta mañana me desperté muy tarde y con una extraña impresión. Me parece estar ya muerto y esperar solamente que vengan a sepultarme. He tomado inmediatamente previsiones para mi funeral y fui personalmente a la empresa de pompas fúnebres con el fin de que nada sea descuidado. A cada momento espero que traigan el ataúd. Siento ya pertenecer a otro mundo y todas las cosas que me circundan tienen un indecible aire de cosas pasadas, concluidas, sin ningún interés para mí.
    Un amigo me ha traído flores y le dije que podía esperar para ponerlas sobre mi tumba. Me pareció que sonreía, pero los hombres sonríen siempre cuando no comprenden nada.
    La Juventus (el juventus para los hispters mesetarios) tiene ya 32 scudetti, aunque ellos cuentan 34. Los dos de la discordia los perdieron por trampas, lo cual en un fútbol de males endémicos como el italiano, tampoco es muy grave. Dopajes, compra venta de partidos, apuestas ilegales, ¿qué más da?
    Un usuario único nos solicita esta canción. Esperemos que triunfe."
    Sumado a un comentario en el cual un usuario único que compara a la juve con el real madrid, han sido los detonantes de la purga matinal.
    Es su juguete, son sus reglas. Lo aceptamos. Aunque cada vez sean más idiotas.
    Segundo intento

  139. Miñaloita dixo...
  140. Non me fodas no camiño,
    que non son unha cadela,
    andas cos collóns d´arrastro,
    énchesme a cona de terra

  141. Jabacho Fodedor dixo...
  142. Fijate en los masculinos tambien y veras como te gustan,so mariposon.Con el gusto que da follarse un coño.Que panda de ojete-obsesivos

  143. iba en serio dixo...
  144. no eres nadie hasta que alguien te odia

  145. rent a tractor dixo...
  146. Mientras que los gargajos rojos de la metralla
    silban surcando el cielo azul, día tras día,
    y que, escarlata o verdes, cerca del Main que ríe
    se hunden batallones que el fuego incendia en masa;
    mientras que una locura desenfrenada aplasta
    y convierte en mantillo humeante a mil hombres;
    ¡pobres muertos! sumidos en barro, en la yerba,
    en tu gozo, Ango Paliza, que santa los creaste,
    existe un dios menor barrigudo que se troncha en los adamascados
    del altar cervecero, al incienso, a los cálices de oro,
    que acunado en youllneverwalkalones ctónicos dulcemente se duerme y ronca
    Pero se sobresalta, cuando huérfanas uncidas
    a la angustia y que lloran bajo sus cofias negras
    le ofrecen un puñado de polvo envuelto en su pañuelo
    y le consuelan de costado.

  147. Guadañas and Calabazas quema rastrojos en las Marcas rubras y ocres del Arcaísmo Yerto dixo...
  148. Las conversaciones entre porcos bravos deberían desarrollarse igual que las de los dioses, como charlas entre seres invulnerables. El combate con ideas ha de asemejarse a un combate con espadas espirituales, que cortan la materia sin esfuerzo y sin causar dolor; y el goce resulta tanto más puro cuanto más preciso es el golpe que se recibe. En tales acciones bélicas del espíritu es preciso ser inmunes a las heridas.

  149. RODILLO dixo...
  150. Orballo Carallo nos dejó colgados

  151. Ronnie Farras dixo...
  152. Ahora que todo ha terminado puedo decirlo: reventé la yegua de tanto clavarles mis espuelas y luego la utilizamos para colgar a O.C

  153. Misfits en un Saco de Patatas dixo...
  154. si hay que llegar a 900, se llega

    tótem
    Del ingl. totem, y este del algonquino nin-totem.
    1. m. Objeto de la naturaleza, generalmente un animal, que en la mitología de algunas sociedades se toma como emblema protector de la tribu o del individuo, y a veces como ascendiente o progenitor.
    2. m. Emblema tallado o pintado, que representa el tótem.

  155. Thor Pede Quinsling dixo...
  156. Non estamos moi lonxe dos 500 colonos

    - Lemmy Motherfucker
    - Breogán Guerrilleiro
    - El par torsor nunca duerme
    - Into the pigsty of Anglogalician Rode the Six Hundred
    - Escocia va a morir en su línea de 22
    -Cisco viaja al Norte y encuentra a Byggvir perjudicado por su intento baldío de darle salchichón a Freyja
    - Mestre Cervexeiro
    - Nihil Moriarty
    - All Fire
    - Full English Breakfast
    - Hud Bannon
    .The man in the high castle
    -Boroman
    - Inmuscusión Terrupta
    - Jack Wilson
    - Cisco atraviesa las puertas de la percepción para darle duro y seco a la orfandad y al beleño negro
    -Cisco o las Declinaciones Magnéticas
    -Un Atildado Harponneur que bevat sulfieten
    - All the Porco's Bravos Main
    - Wystan Evelyn Parsnip Pimpernell
    - O Swine-Herd de Galizalbión
    -Diario de un Porco Bravo
    - Cuchillo de Fuego
    -el Señor de las Hienas into the skull of a Dead Jester
    - La Facecias del Bashi-Bazouk (Fall is here)
    -RODILLO
    -Blog Sponja
    -Las Raíces Profundas de Don Catrín Da Fachenda
    -Portavoz en las Sombras Ctónicas del Rodillarato
    - Arquivero Stout
    - Radical Porco Bravo
    - Bayağı Yaban Domuzu Otomano
    - Elmer Gruñón Egghead Fuck
    -Psicopompos Somormujos
    - Nostromo
    -Ray Barriga
    -Tengo envidia del lobo gris que se disimula en la lluvia.
    - Albion Killfoes
    -Golfiño Kuninkaallinen Perhe
    - Porco Bravo
    -Reverendo Hunter
    -Archie Occam
    - Nesnesitelná lehkost bytí
    -Ícaro Encebollado
    - Jean de Brissac de la Motte
    - Iñaki Ugarte Uiriarte
    -Salvaxemente Mítico
    -Investido con bata de casa de camocán jaspeado
    -Ernest Christopher Dowson
    -Obstinado como un Jabalí
    - ¿De dónde vienes, digno Thane?
    - EL PORCO ENTRE EL CENTENO
    - CROM
    - Elquenuncahacenada
    - Morton Milk
    - The Great Malcolm Swindle
    -Tan loco como la bruma y la nieve
    - Joe Carroll
    - Emma Frost
    PORCOMAN
    ANGLOGALICIAN WOLF
    - RealRedDevilPorco
    DOC HOLLIDAY
    - Barrabás Balarrasa
    -Pancho Villa Diodati
    -Jacobo Mainz
    -Acerbo Bierzo
    -Guadañas and Calabazas
    - Jack Tar
    - tejón-teixugo
    - Sasquatch. En una orange plank road entre el estar Delfín y el ser Fiera Corrupia
    - Roger de Ira
    - Blake Absenta o el celebérrimo * Roberto Tumbas en todas las resacas
    -Olmos Stoker de Liébana
    -Porcobravo Flâneur
    - Tractor mal aparcado en el Círculo de los poetas Zúticos
    - O' Scarecrow
    - Bruce Dickinson
    - Xandor Korzybskin
    - The Carteiro
    - Pat Garrett
    - Fred Hankey
    -El Heterodoxo

  157. Thor Pede Quinsling dixo...
  158. boga, boga mariñeiro

    - Cosaco Dipsómano
    - El Barbero del Main
    - Teixugo
    - Drake Hemlock
    -El Dios Erizo protege a sus encolerizados
    - Muñeco de Trapo
    -Lord Cundy
    - 500 millas de Orange Plank Road asfaltada en Peltre
    - Jacobo Maíz
    - 0 Comentarios
    - The Shaggy Sodden King of that Kingdom
    - Casandra Yuggoth
    - Josedebon
    - Persiguiendo una marea de metáforas masturbatorias
    -Vindicador del Arce
    - Raveneau De Truessan
    -Pingüino
    - Λεωνίδας et Les quatre cents coups
    - Estibador Portuario
    - Cisco viaja al Norte, donde los ríos corren hacia lo desconocido
    - Mighty Main
    -Hammer Of Gods
    -Galician Patriot
    -Musgo,hiedra,herrumbre,Hope,setas,Invictos
    -Thornton Payn
    - Gonzo Hearst o las Tribulations del periodismo feraz
    -Ximena Quente de Quantrill
    -Rollo Foula
    -Centinela
    -Chatarrero de Sangre, Cerveza e Irascibilidad
    -Larry Bowles
    -Sergio Vidal
    -El Filibustero de los Ojos Grises del Destino -uno de los pioneros-.
    -El Pollas
    - Crisóstomo Sauerkraut
    - Las crónicas de un Sochantre armado con un sacho
    - Doctor Pyg
    - Las alubias del Ahorcado Carradine
    - Necesitamos un Mistagogo que aleccione al Cardumen y adoctrine al Hato
    - Folly Bucelario
    - Indómito Pagano que apura la frenada en todas las mañanas del Mundo
    - Azotes Gossip ( La verdad os hará libres )
    - Vou ó Carniceiro
    - ¿ Čto za čort ?
    -Yajirobe Inoshishi
    - Raf Birras
    - Sgian Dubh. Sobre los acantilados de mármol
    - Skurekail Villsvinhode
    -Cisco Miño
    -Emilio Fernández
    - Porcobravos 'Til I die
    - Barrilete
    - Paik Bispo
    - Blas Trallero Lezo
    - Darek Viñedo
    - Zaštitnik Bitingkerbs
    Porcorixinal
    Tristan Corbière Calvados
    - Colin Frasca Reyerta conocido como Connor O' Farrell
    - León Saint-Just
    -Colin
    Un Héroe Trapacero
    - Un Atildado Harponneur que hace cábalas con vuestro piélago de calamidades
    - Un Gaviero Bizarro cabalando vuestro piélago de calamidades
    Malek Deva
    La faceta de leñador del Barón Corvo Trelawny
    The Blood of Ægir
    Bobby Murdoch
    Don Celta de Estorde
    El Grito de Gypo Nolan
    Manfredo Mensfeldt Cardonnel Findlay
    O BichoBola
    -Nicolas Cueva ensombrece el sibilino horizonte de peltre con un inadecuado uso de metáforas deturpadas
    - Pordiosero Metafísico
    Cabalgando con el Diablo
    Abrenuntio Jo D. Sandieces
    Ferrotiño
    El rostro gótico, glabro
    Navegante
    No Cometa los errores de Halley
    Mil Milenios
    Bartolomé Foulkes
    Saúl González Mendieta
    Gerrard Winstanley
    John Ford
    Willy S.
    Stertebeker Mantenfel
    Hog Faisán Deces
    Ronnie Farras
    Robert Lee Stevenson
    Javier Villafañe
    Valerio Catulo Marco Tulio Lépido Diocleciano
    Sebastián Querol
    O Fento Fedorento
    Polichinela Rujú Sahib
    El Fulano Ulano Ufano
    Eugene Philip Coetzee
    Al Oeste Del Ocaso
    Citoyen
    Aleister Saint Germain
    Gattuso
    Coto Soturno
    Punset
    Kindred Dick
    North Sea Sullivan
    Sláine
    Alurbio Langrán
    Brann Rilke
    Der Berggeist Nil
    Porquo Aguarrás
    Misfits en un Saco de Patatas
    Otro Profeta Preußisch Blau
    Liam Poyas
    Conde de Lérezmont y Dragón
    Roi Liorta
    Enrique Mortaleña
    Miquiztli
    El Trapecista Tracio
    Semónides Amorgos
    Selecto y Desopilante Batidor de Conejos Muertos
    Beereater
    Thor Pede Quinsling
    Rod Sarmiento Height
    Don Catrín Da Fachenda
    Macedonio Fernández
    Morson Güeys
    Guille Cabrera Elefante
    E
    Xabutu Bréfetes
    Nearca Renuente
    Hew Dalrymple
    Nuño Muñoz Aguirre
    Also Sprach Hildisvíni
    Guthrie McCabe
    Beatrice Lafoyet
    Eurídice Blasco
    Gary Oh ¡¡ Maynard
    Prisciliano
    Bill Laimbeer
    Benito Vicetto Monforte
    Charles Ardant Dupiq B'Auverville
    Carlos Paun-Gogüan
    Oliver Cromwell
    Nicolás Soneira
    Søren Schopenhauer
    Malaquías Malagrowther
    Long Swan John Sudden
    Scoundrel Scourge
    Jorge Aday Ladreda
    Don Ron Mr Clayton
    Mike Barja
    EL DURO
    Tuercebotas Taciturno Que Toca La Tercerola
    He says prophetically

  159. tergiversando que es lo vuestro dixo...
  160. Los intelectuales patrocinados por el Main inventaron un pasado que se convirtió en Historia y así fue aceptado por la mayoría.

  161. Zaštitnik Bitingkerbs dixo...
  162. Se retrasaba.

    Latía despacio, tic...onírico, lúgubre...tac.

    Se para.
    tic- tac
    Orballo

  163. El Pollas dixo...
  164. Los borrachos también están a favor de La Gallina Papanatas, a pesar de que la aceleración al final les causa algunos problemas de equilibrio.

  165. Ximena Quente de Quantrill dixo...
  166. (“Todos los demás han sido malos, somos el camino al paraíso”, camisas negras, mucho fruncir, malos oradores, amplificación suficiente para llenar de vivos Yardley Gobion)

  167. Eugene Philip Coetzee dixo...
  168. “Sí, la fantasía es escapista, y ahí está su grandeza. Si un soldado es capturado por el enemigo, ¿no consideramos que su deber es escapar? ¡Los prestamistas, los ignorantes, los autoritarios nos mantienen a todos en prisión; si valoramos la libertad de pensamiento y alma, si somos partisanos de la libertad, nuestro deber es escapar y llevar con nosotros a tantos como podamos!”.

    RESPUESTA DE TOLKIEN A LA ACUSACIÓN DE ESCRIBIR LITERATURA ESCAPISTA

    “En esta clase de amor ¿Me quieres? significa '¿Ves la misma verdad?', o por lo menos '¿Te importa la misma verdad?'”

    De la obra LOS CUATRO AMORES, de C.S. LEWIS

  169. Soy científico - Trato de comprenderme dixo...
  170. Cuando te alejas de los labios que un día fueron rojos
    Cuando te liberas de la oportunidad de toda una vida
    Puedes ser cualquiera de los que te ordenaron ser
    Puedes despreciar las voces que te lo ordenaron
    Y llegará el momento en que los números cuadrarán
    Y llegará el momento en que te alejes
    Oh, ¿por qué no te alejas?

    Cuando te alejas por las calles heladas
    Puedes engañarte y pensar que es la oportunidad de tu vida
    Puedes ser cualquiera de los que te ordenaron ser
    Puedes despreciar las voces que te lo ordenaron
    Y llegará el momento en que cuadrarán los números
    Y llegará el momento en que te alejes
    Oh, ¿por qué no te alejas?

    Vamos
    acelera

  171. Colin Frasca Reyerta conocido como Connor O' Farrell dixo...
  172. Dad la espalda a los estilos. ¡Reclamamos la abolición de los estilos para alcanzar el estilo! El estilo nunca es plagio.
    plagio es que te metan media docena en Inglaterra

  173. hacia dentro dixo...
  174. Queremos sencillamente señalar que toda obra literaria está orientada hacia fuera, no hacia ella misma, sino hacia el oyente-lector, y que, en alguna medida, anticipa las eventuales reacciones de éste

  175. 888sport :La XIII será... dixo...
  176. . Porco e Brava

  177. depravado 889 dixo...
  178. (El) Objetivismo es sólo un ejemplo de una profunda contradicción que aqueja a buena parte del individualismo radical: la tendencia a agruparse con un fervor y una cerrazón que reproduce, uno tras otro, los múltiples rasgos que caracterizan aquello que critica, es decir, la idea de un proyecto político grupal, la identificación hasta el menor ornamento con una causa abstracta e indemostrable y la absolutización de una postura que, se quiera o no, nunca dejó de ser una ideología política entre muchas semejantes. ¿Objetivos? Mover las tornas del aparato estatal a favor de una serie de ideas, como buscamos todos.

    Que el ser humano es una criatura sectaria resulta algo bastante evidente, a la luz de la historia. En un mundo secularizado las querencias extremistas, en lugar de desaparecer, simplemente se redirigen: hoy afectan a ideologías de cualquier signo como ayer afectaron a la religión, el orgullo patrio o las opiniones sobre la sexualidad del vecino. Sólo se pueden hacer dos cosas con esta propensión: o encerrarse en un culto marginal, lo que conlleva la intransigencia hacia las otras posiciones y favorece la enemistad y el conflicto, o trasladar esa necesidad de construir una obra común a la luz pública mediante la intervención en un juego político lo más justo posible. Si nos mantenemos al margen nunca podremos descansar tranquilos con la resignada excusa de que "el pueblo ha hablado" y allá ellos, échate unas birras. Nos sucederá como a aquellos que se toman la justicia por su mano: al no haber un tribunal de por medio que garantice el cumplimiento de la ley, daremos, en nuestro furor, cuatro tortas por cada dos recibidas.

    Muchos individualistas, en lugar de aceptar la elección de la mayoría, la niegan de raíz calificándola de tiranía y liberticidio. Objetivistas o laicos, tienden a retirarse de ese modelo de debate, ofreciendo una apariencia sectaria sorprendente si tenemos en cuenta la preponderancia de sus intereses en fenómenos internacionales como los planes de austeridad y la globalización, por citar dos de los gordos. Paradójicamente, al negar de raíz todo lo que suene a “política” y “proyecto estatal” y pretender superarlo, se incurre en el sentimiento del clan y la tribu, que es, si hablamos en términos estrictamente históricos, el estado de cosas anterior a la invención del sistema democrático, donde las diferencias sólo se podían saldar, en la ausencia de un medio de contención de las opiniones o de equilibrio entre ellas, con trincheras, sopapos y miradas torvas.

  179. Don Celta de Estorde dixo...
  180. Hay dos tipos de clásico, los que lo fueron en su tiempo y los que perduran más allá de éste. El eterno retorno de lo mismo se opone frontalmente a la constitución de clásicos "atemporales" según la hemos entendido. Es decir, se pueden adoptar problemáticas ya abordadas de forma ya publicada bajo una estética ya pretérita, que satisfarán las inquietudes menos inquietas de su época, pero, a menos que un gran incendio elimine sus precedentes, es improbable que sean vistas como algo más que el producto de una época de oscuridad o de una cómica malinterpretación de la esencia del arte, que es la reformulación.
    Taberdos e Cervexa es un clásico
    ¿es una pregunta?

  181. Musgo,hiedra,herrumbre,Hope,setas,Invictos dixo...
  182. Vuelve allá adonde pertenecen tus cojones

  183. Portavoz en las Sombras Ctónicas del Rodillarato dixo...
  184. El aislamiento tanto físico como psicológico debe mantenerse desde el momento de la captura.La desorientación disminuye la capacidad de resistencia.Los prisioneros deben mantener silencio en todo momento.Jamás se les debe permitir hablar unos con otros

  185. Vindicador Del Arce dixo...
  186. Dentro de la diversidad de la Feliz Gobernación cada casta posee un dios: el Pueblo, un dios justiciero del Quinto Diccionario o de Aquel Día tan Debido; los alcaldes un dios meritorio, mediocre, conformista y adicto a los Procónsules; los soldados, un dios colaboracionista y destripador, que premia con salarios; los becarios, naturalmente, un dios a quien coger la palabra; y los legos, un dios fatuo, predicador de vaciedades. Cada uno de estos dioses posee su Cielo y sus fieles en su Cielo, pues es justo que los mortales alcancen y gocen la gloria que sueñan.
    Los mandarines también poseen su deidad: la gentil ardilla Carlota Emily Sally Kidd metáfora de la reflexión, placidez, buen sentido, bello estar y bien aconsejar…Las castas son libres de pugnar entre sí e injuriar incluso a sus respectivos dioses, pues cada una usufructa su dios y su cielo verdaderos, que hacen falsos a los demás. De tal forma, todos los dioses y cielos son falsos y verdaderos a un tiempo.

  187. ondiñas veñen e van dixo...
  188. É o que ten. Ía estar ben o de comer conas, manda carallo. Mais a natureza irrumpiu no máis profundo da depravación pra lle revelar aos cegos a ira de Deus: deixádevos de afojar no pilón e poñédevos a foder nelas porque ¡NECESITAMOS GALEGOS!

    E non putas e maricóns. Cajo na tos.

  189. En Resumen dixo...
  190. : Un tipo que bebe todo el día en una tasca del Norte se aburre.
    Viaja con otros tipos a Inglaterra
    tiene alucinaciones porque se droga
    Le pasan muchas cosas raras
    Habla con un tal Main
    Le ahorcan
    El tipo cuenta la historia ya colgado
    El tipo es un colgado.

  191. Jaime Calvo dixo...
  192. Su elegante síntesis de enseñanzas disparejas es su principal (y tal vez único) logro

  193. Hud Bannon dixo...
  194. Although, he was right. We're an island race. It's what we do best. It's not about color or race, it's just the buzz of being in the frontline. Truth is, I just love to fight.

  195. Blas Trallero Lezo dixo...
  196. A los presos del capitán Ariza les llamaron la Guerrilla de la Muerte, y la formaron veintidós reclusos con delitos de sangre que pelearon con salvajismo por la promesa vaga de que revisarían sus causas. Ariza los encabezaba vestido de civil y con un sombrero hongo en la cabeza y los guerrilleros luchaban con el uniforme de presidiarios, con rifles no reglamentarios y con navajas de muelle de Albacete con las que ganaban trofeos anatómicos al enemigo y los engarzaban en collares de abalorios. Causaron bajas numerosas y extendieron el terror entre la morería, que era dada a creer en cuentos de demonios, y parecían una partida bandolera antes que un pelotón regular: en los periódicos de la península fueron la sensación. Los librepensadores de los casinos concluyeron que se ahorraba sangre jornalera mandando a reñir a la escoria, que no sirve para el campo.

    Por los callejones de Melilla andaba poniendo atención Mohamed ben Ahmed, que le decían el Amadi, el Gato, y era morito bueno que contaba al español lo que oía en las medinas. A José Farreny Riera, sin embargo, todos los moros le parecían pardos. Farreny tenía treinta y nueve años, deudas de sangre con la ley y era leridano de Alguaire. Era uno de los veintidós de Ariza y como los otros veintiuno, hacía de su capa un sayo. En una patrulla callejera detuvo al Gato Amadi y le tomó por confidente de las cabilas. Amadi mantuvo que era precisamente lo contrario y era un chivato a sueldo del español, pero Farreny no le creyó, sacó su carraca de reñir y le cortó las dos orejas, que después se prendió en su camisa de presidiario. El pobre Gato perdió sangre a manantial y casi la diñó; suerte que le quedaban otras seis vidas. Cuando se enteró del suceso el general Martínez Campos, que había sido Ministro de la Guerra con Canovas, disolvió la Guerrilla de la Muerte y destituyó en el acto al general Macías, por propiciarla. Farreny no salió por la puerta grande por su faena de dos orejas, no le tiraron claveles las majas y olé, y fue sometido a un juicio sumarísimo y le condenaron a muerte. Le fusilaron el 1 de diciembre de 1893 en la explanada del fuerte Camellos, en la segunda línea del cinturón que guardaba Melilla.

    La guerra de Margallo acabó en abril de 1894, cuando el sultán Muley Hassan firmó la paz de una guerra que no declaró. Se comprometió a castigar a los rebeldes y a pagar a España una indemnización de veinte millones de pesetas en ochavos morunos. Miguel Primo de Rivera fue distinguido con la Laureada de San Fernando por haber recuperado los cañones de Cabrerizas y al moro Amadi le compensaron sus orejas con la Cruz al Mérito Militar y, si alguna vez le recetaron antiparras, se las tuvo que clavar en el puente de la nariz.

  197. Macedonio Fernández dixo...
  198. Después de una larga sesión, la noche nos halló en una taberna cualquiera. Para sentirnos en Inglaterra (donde ya estábamos) apuramos en rituales jarros de peltre cerveza tibia y negra.

  199. Sutherland Aran dixo...
  200. Por el idioma que, hace siglos, hablé en Nortumbria,
    Por la espada y el arpa de los sajones,
    Por el mar, que es un desierto resplandeciente
    Y una cifra de cosas que no sabemos
    Y un epitafio de los ciervos,
    Por la música verbal de Inglaterra,
    Por la libertad de Galiza

  201. Navegante dixo...
  202. la cabina telefónica azotada por el vendaval, los arbustos que parecen enraizarse en otro planeta, el mar turbio confundido con el cielo gris como en el filo de un puñal... el norte del Norte

  203. Ishtar por los asirios dixo...
  204. una mujer bellísima, delgada, con nariz aguileña, el rostro de una palidez mortal, los labios rojos como serbas salvajes, los ojos de un azul increíble y largos cabellos rubios; se transformará de repente en cerda, yegua, perra, asna, comadreja, serpiente, lechuza, loba, tigresa, sirena u horrible arpía.
    en su rol de cerda, la gozan más y la sufren de por vida.

  205. querencia de miembro dixo...
  206. Cuando el lenguaje mítico usado por los poetas es en realidad lo que queda de su liturgia, Albion mata cerdos y los porcos pierden en Inglaterra.

  207. RODILLO dixo...
  208. En el libro de Orwell, 1984, cualquier movimiento es siempre, no solo espiado, sino también provocado por el Gran Hermano. La vida, el movimiento, la dedicación de Winston Smith es reescribir la historia. Smith piensa que la historia, gracias a gente como él, sigue avanzado, cuando en realidad lo único que hace es caer en la circularidad comer-cagar-comer. No hay diferencia entre sus distintos elementos, Winston Smith es historia, y la historia es el Gran Hermano. En esto consiste el movimiento anal. Movimiento del que, Smith, consigue escapar al encontrar un elemento diferente, molesto, singular, que le hace recordar que fuera del eterno retorno del Gran Hermano se “escribe”, sobrevive, la diferencia. Este elemento molesto claramente es el diario, intrahistórico e intempestivo, escape al circulo vicioso y tramposo del Gran Hermano. Pero no creamos que son las páginas del diario el elemento diferenciador como tal, lo es el movimiento incorpóreo que crea: olor puro, sensación fantasmal. El diario, una vez descubierto, podría ser quemado, ya que al estar escrito podría ser víctima del movimiento anal. Ni siquiera la resistencia, como cuerpo material, es el elemento molesto diferenciador. El movimiento incorpóreo molesto se da en las miradas con Julia, en el roce de sus manos en la manifestación, en el olor puro que, siendo desprendido tras el arbusto primero, se desliza después por toda la realidad a través de las calles, las puertas y las mentes; pasando sin pararse, pasando sin retornar, dejando tan sólo el rastro de la diferencia expresada en una mirada, un gesto, un aroma; avisando a los demás puntos singulares que hay oportunidad de escapar al Gran Hermano. Aldoux Huxley, a su modo, en Un mundo feliz también percibe la posibilidad de este infinito circulo del movimiento fecal: comer-cagar-comer o trabajo-soma-trabajo. El soma hace parecer a la mierda alimento, para que así pueda volver a ser comida, y ésta a su vez otra vez cagada. Movimiento cíclico que no deja espacio para lo singular, si no fuese de nuevo, como en 1984, por dos elementos molestos que marcan la diferencia: el Salvaje y Bernard Marx. Salvaje sin habla, pura corporeidad molesta, y Bernard sin cuerpo, pura incorporeidad. Entre los dos articulan la nueva serie construida en una vecindad alejada, diferente, la de comer-hablar; dejando entre ellos, una fina línea, olor puro del arbusto, mirada sincera de Julia, movimiento fantasmal que posibilita el pensamiento.

    Descartes también crea su Gran HermAno: el Yo. Por desgracia, éste queda lejos de ser una ficción, como la de Orwell o Huxley, y se convierte en el centro regulador de todo el pensamiento de la modernidad; más tarde servirá también de inspiración anal para la ciencia, el capital y la tecnología. A diferencia de los escépticos, muertos de hambre, nutridos tan sólo de una duda incorpórea, duda siempre por delante y por detrás de lo dicho <>; Descartes, glotón aristócrata, convierte la duda en mierda para nutrirse de ella. La usa como excusa para llegar al Yo, tramposo, haciendo creer que la duda va antes que el Yo por el simple hecho de mostrarla “antes”. La trampa es que el antes es tan solo temporal y no conceptual. Conceptualmente, el Yo se presenta como el Gran Ano, y la duda tan solo como una excusa ya pensada como el culo- desde el culo, quería decir.- Descartes va desde lo mas indiferenciado, la pura duda, retrotrayéndose hasta lo mas diferenciado, la certeza, a través del método deductivo: <>.

  209. Bill Laimbeer dixo...
  210. Ah, ¿sufrimos en el lodo del camino? Sabemos (“heridas por usar”) por el simulacro de la memoria que la coeternidad cursiva-cíclica empuja o acaricia azarosamente. Hoy, será todo el mejor día que sea; empero, no por ello, uno (poquito y flaquito) no pensará en los amigos ausentes ni en los caídos en el campo de batalla. Conservamos la cordura y la moral. Y, por último, qué dichoso poder vestir la camisa de tu mayor progenitor.
    Cualquiera tiene complicaciones, los porcos bravos, parecen olvidarse que nunca fueron vegetarianos.
    Al destino le faltan las dos manos,y juramos con gloria vivir por la puta Causa

  211. Un Atildado Harponneur que bevat sulfieten dixo...
  212. La estela del barco, pero no solo el agua rizada de espuma; también el aceite, la basura, la mancha del Atlántico Norte que flota a la deriva.
    Volveremos en la XI

  213. Juan Caboto dixo...
  214. Que el mapa fuera el territorio mismo plantearía, además, la probable paradoja de que no habría signos, pues a un segundo nivel todo signo (para ser tal) debe oponerse a otro, no por prurito estructuralista, sino porque avisa de algo frente a, por ejemplo, un grado cero de la situación o ente advertido

  215. Macedonio Fernández dixo...
  216. Heráclito, aquel griego sospechoso, había dicho que en la circunferencia el principio y el fin son un solo punto. Un amuleto griego (cómo no) del siglo III, conservado en el Museo Británico, nos da la imagen que mejor puede ilustrar esta infinitud: la serpiente que se muerde la cola o, como bellamente dirá Mike Barja, «que empieza al fin de su cola». Uroboros (el que se devora la cola) es el nombre técnico de este monstruo, que luego prodigaron los alquimistas. Cuando llegue el Crepúsculo de los Dioses, la serpiente devorará la tierra inglesa y os porcos bravos jugarán siempre como locales.

  217. The Great Malcolm Swindle dixo...
  218. Scarlet Runners or red jackets since Main Come

  219. Fernand Braudel dixo...
  220. fraude historiográfico ejecutado sobre la manipulación, en unos casos, y el soslayo, en otros, de los testimonios históricos

  221. Don Celta de Estorde dixo...
  222. Por tanto, emprendemos viajes épicos, desde la nada hasta la nada, empezamos por nada y acabamos en nada, nunca abandonamos nada, pero perpetuamos nuestros delirios. En cierto momento sabemos que no somos nada pero por miedo no pensamos en eso. Durante todo el tiempo mientras realizamos ese viaje desde la nada hasta la nada percibimos -o esperamos- que ahí fuera hay alguien, algo, una tercera presencia que nos sigue, vela por nosotros, nos narra, nos da existencia en sus sueños, y esperamos que ese ser signifique algo, sea algo. ¿Qué es ese algo que esperamos que esté allí fuera?

  223. Roger De Ira dixo...
  224. Hurra por los otros días. Hurra por dormir hasta tarde, las cervezas para desayunar y los universos paralelos donde todo es un poco mejor.

  225. O' Scarecrow dixo...
  226. El Norte es un país diferente, uno formado por salvajes paisajes nocturnos de aflicción afectada”

  227. Navegante dixo...
  228. saliste del mar y todavía eres espuma

  229. somanta de soma dixo...
  230. dos obras cumbre de la novela distópica que dan pistas del porqué la gente, adocenada, no reacciona ante los abusos del Poder. "1984" (publicada en 1949) de George Orwell frente a "Un Mundo Feliz" (1932) de Aldous Huxley.
    El resultado de lo que tenemos hoy es en realidad una implementación combinada de ambas teorías, el control social mediante:
    - La "soma" y la sobresaturación de información irrelevante para tapar la información de verdad (Huxley).
    - La manipulación lingüística y la represión (Orwell).
    El peso de la primera o de la segunda opción varía según la época y el interés de la clase dirigente: la primera más para situaciones de crecimiento económico con menor desigualdad de clases, y la segunda para periodos de recesión.

    La tercera novela en discordia a tener en cuenta sobre el tema es "Fahrenheit 451" de Ray Bradbury. La de Orwell, de todas formas, está inspirada en otras anteriores como "Nosotros" (Yevgeny Zamyatin, 1921), "El Cero y el Infinito" (Arthur Koestler, 1940) y "El Talon de Hierro" (Jack London, 1908).

  231. Søren Schopenhauer dixo...
  232. No sopla ningún viento favorable para quien no sabe a dónde se dirige

  233. Hogcool Avancarga dixo...
  234. Se trata de un lenguaje de sintonías analógicas insospechadas, opulento, grotesco, deformado a veces de forma impensable, y de enorme elaboración retórica, capaz de alcanzar momentos tanto de comicidad extrema como de inusitada altura poética:
    La Tradición es la memoria de los muertos.
    Somos puntos de la circunferencia de una rueda.
    Sólo id a los cruces de camino y dibujad las líneas necesarias.
    Invocad a los espíritus animales.
    Recitad los nombres bárbaros.
    Avivad los fuegos que otros encendieron.
    Y entenderéis mi Canto.

  235. «Yippy-ay-oh, yippy-ay-eh.» dixo...
  236. En neolengua, la obsesión de la eufonía pesaba más que cualquier otra consideración, salvo la exactitud de significado. Si era necesario, siempre se sacrificaba la regularidad de la gramática en aras de la eufonía.Y con razón, ya que lo que se requería, sobre todo por razones políticas, eran palabras cortas y de significado inequívoco que pudieran pronunciarse rápidamente y que despertaran el mínimo de sugerencias en la mente del parlante. Las palabras del vocabulario B incluso ganaban en fuerza por el hecho de ser tan parecidas. Casi invariablemente estas palabras –bienpensar, Minipax, prolealimento, sexocrimen, gozocampo, Ingsoc, corazonsentir, pensarpol y muchas otras– eran palabras de dos o tres sílabas con el acento tónico igualmente distribuido entre la primera sílaba y la última trinchera

  237. Tengo envidia del lobo gris que se disimula en la lluvia. dixo...
  238. ¿Quiénes son estos, llegados del Norte, del confín, de las tierras sin luz ni frutos llegados en tropel para robar y maltratar, más numerosos que las langostas, más rápidos que los lobos de la noche sobre sus bestias oscuras?

  239. Aquel documento prohibía expresamente el reclutamiento de marineros blasfemos, porque podían poner en peligro tanto la institución como la carga. En aquella época la blasfemia acarreaba un castigo divino inmediato. Lo guardé en un rincón de mi cabeza, sin desarrollarlo. dixo...
  240. ¿Existe una definición de blasfemia?

    No la hay, porque la definición de blasfemia depende de una operación de juicio. O, por decirlo de otra manera, son las autoridades las que deciden, por razones diversas, de orden público, de moral religiosa, de disciplina, cómo definir la blasfemia. Quien profiere la blasfemia nunca la define, eso es evidente. Y por eso me voy a permitir un paréntesis. Hoy en día hay cierto número de personas que exigen el derecho a la blasfemia, principalmente por parte de los no creyentes. Me parece una aberración, puesto que la blasfemia no puede definirse más que por quien decide qué es una blasfemia. En cambio, podemos dar definiciones de instancias que han tratado de acotarla. A grandes rasgos, están de acuerdo en decir que la blasfemia es atribuir a Dios algo que no es. Estas definiciones emanan no sólo de instituciones religiosas, sino también de la reflexión teológica que trata de afinar distinguiendo, por ejemplo, entre la palabra blasfematoria y la intención blasfematoria. Santo Tomás de Aquino dice que se puede blasfemar sin hablar. Los malos pensamientos sobre Dios pueden ser blasfematorios. En el Levítico, el blasfemo es quien habla mal de Dios. La blasfemia, para los griegos, era hablar mal de alguien. Se podría decir que las instituciones religiosas apoyadas por fuerzas políticas, al menos hasta el siglo XVIII y quizá un poco más tarde fuera de Francia, estiman que la blasfemia es hablar mal de Dios, no atribuirle lo que es y atribuirle lo que no es. Decir «nombre de Dios» no es una blasfemia, pero decir que Dios es malo es una blasfemia. Hay que fijarse en que son las fuerzas religiosas o los creyentes quienes deciden que lo que acaban de ver o de oír es un atentado contra su fe, y quienes señalan como blasfema a la persona o al grupo de personas que ha emitido esa opinión. Y eso es lo que pasa con las caricaturas de Mahoma.

    Si no le entiendo mal, para usted no existe el propósito blasfematorio en sí.

    Se trata de una construcción a la vez intelectual, legislativa y teológica, luego cultural. La blasfemia como tal no existe en la naturaleza. Es lo que advierto al comienzo de mi libro, cuando digo que la blasfemia es un objeto completamente esquivo, puesto que el historiador no se puede interesar en la blasfemia, en lo que se interesa es en la persona que blasfema.

    ¿Qué nos puede decir de la blasfemia en épocas anteriores a la que usted estudia, que va de los siglos XVI al XIX?

    El mundo judío condena severamente la blasfemia. Recordemos que Jesús es condenado por blasfemo. Ha blasfemado al decir que es hijo de Dios. La legislación judía que respeta la ley mosaica es muy estricta, mucho más que en los mundos romano o griego. Por lo que yo sé, si bien no existen muchos estudios sobre el particular, los mundos griego y romano parecen más «laxos». Cuando lo que hay es un politeísmo y una gran tolerancia a las otras religiones, a partir del momento en que la mitología griega en particular desarrolla un retrato muy humanizado de los dioses, con sus excentricidades y sus defectos, se limita de modo singular la noción de ataque a la divinidad. Esta ponderación no la practican las religiones monoteístas.

  241. Casandra Yuggoth dixo...
  242. Es inevitable establecer conexiones proféticas tomando lo que será y reconociendo ya los protoexponentes que nos rodean, y en esto radica la genialidad de esta entrada

  243. Un Héroe Trapacero dixo...
  244. De porco bravos y fantasmas dan al hombre del tabardo el relumbrón de los atardeceres y el tajo del rostro atrae el sable crepuscular hacia la figura agigantada; el semen furioso a chorrazos y los mordiscos de alcohol degollado a la tiniebla aventurera y la pólvora roja es rosa de
    llamas rugiendo con perros y espadas entre la matanza histórica, adentro de la cual nosotros
    rajamos el cuaderno de bitácora sobre el acero acerbo del pecho, que es pluma de ciervo y coño de peltre

  245. Iba vestido con un tabardo entonando una saloma distópica dixo...
  246. Carezco de meteoros, carezco de fuelles ardientes. Busco en mi garganta nombres, y algo como la pestaña vibrátil de las cosas. El olor de la nada, un tufo de absurdo, el estiércol de la Anglopollada. El humor ligero y rarefacto.

  247. Ignatius Uario Único dixo...
  248. Este blog es la crítica en sí mismo: despedaza a todo aquel que atraviesa su inapelable radar. Sin embargo, a sí mismo, si el Blog es el Main, se considera una especie de mesías encargado de devolver la moral humana a su origen medieval, desde el cual regenerarla por completo.

  249. Robert Lee Stevenson dixo...
  250. I'm talking about tradition! Why, those same silly uniforms have been worn for over a hundred years! Now it's time for more realism here and less tradition! Why, man, we're at war! Our porcos are dying in battle!

  251. Semónides Amorgos dixo...
  252. La realidad no es legible de manera evidente. Las ideas y teorías no reflejan sino que traducen la realidad, pudiendo traducirla de manera errónea. Nuestra realidad no es otra cosa que nuestra idea de la realidad. Del mismo modo, importa no ser realista en un sentido trivial (adaptarse a lo inmediato), ni irrealista en el mismo sentido (sustraerse de las coacciones de la realidad); lo que conviene es ser realista en el sentido complejo del término: comprender la incertidumbre de lo real, saber que existe una porción de lo posible aún invisible en lo real.

  253. El indiscutible placer de leer un clásico dixo...
  254. La mejor de las 165 líneas y de 12 años de rayas.
    Una obra maestra que mejora con los años y los anos castigados por la sarna de no ser ellos los autores.

  255. Las bayonetas afiladas aman al Main dixo...
  256. Un centinela se pasea a lo largo de la muralla, mosquete al brazo, envuelto en su tabardo. De tarde en tarde, se inclina por entre las negras almenas y observa, con ojo atento, al enemigo en su campo.

  257. Mestre Cervexeiro dixo...
  258. Pudre un pito con malta la cerveza del viejo que Barja y Citoyen habían caldeado a la luz de la lampararca, hacia el último extremo del sarkoliris visto anulosamente sobre la caragua.

  259. Le Main tiene un pájaro azul en una jaula roja dixo...
  260. Esta entrada, con 930 piontas por ahora, exhibe entre otros premios de prestigio:
    - Las viudas de Ted Hughes (2016)
    - El "Silas Tomkin Comberbache" ganado en 2019
    - "O Risco de ir de esmorga con Cunqueiro" (2020)
    - Trísceles de Loresgrado (2021)

  261. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  262. HITHERTO all the descriptions of Scotland, which have been publish'd in our day, have been written by natives of that country, and that with such an air of the most scandalous partiality, that it has been far from pleasing the gentry or nobility of Scotland themselves, and much farther has it been from doing any honour to the nation or to the country.

    One known author has taken pains to describe their commerce as an immense thing for magnitude, has set off their manufactures in such a figure, and as such extraordinary things, that the English are trifles to them, and their merchandizing, according to his account, must be inferior to very few, if any nation in Europe; nay, he is not asham'd to give us an account of the particulars of their exportations to China and the East Indies, to Turkey, and the Levant, where, I believe, never Scots ship yet sail'd, unless it was in the service of English merchants, or some other foreign nation.

    A more modern, and I must acknowledge, more modest writer than this, knowing he could not, with a front that, perhaps, he had not yet arriv'd to, set forth his country to her advantage, by giving a real description of that part which would necessarily shew her deficiences, as well as her beauties; and retaining still that piece of northern vanity peculiar to the climate, to think mighty well of his own country, takes up with describing the seats of the nobility and gentry; a subject, which, it must be confess'd, give him a greater scope, and in which he has good materials to work on: But, even in this, it must be added he would have done better, if he would have given the noblemen and gentlemen of Scotland leave to have known their own houses again, when they saw his description of them.

    I have so much honour for the noblemen and gentlemen of Scotland, that I am persuaded they will be as well pleas'd to see justice done them and their country, as to see themselves flatter'd, and the world impos'd upon about them. Their country is not so void of beauty, or their persons of merit, as to want it; and (I believe) they will not seek to be flatter'd, or be oblig'd by it,, when 'tis attempted.

  263. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  264. But be that as it will, the world shall, for once, hear what account an Englishman shall give of Scotland, who has had occasion to see most of it, and to make critical enquiries into what he has not seen; and, if describing it, as it really is, and as in time it may be, with probable reasons for the variation, will give satisfaction to the Scots, they will be oblig'd; on the contrary I shall neither flatter them or deceive them. Scotland is here describ'd with brevity, but with justice; and the present state of things there, plac'd in as clear a light as the sheets, I am confin'd to, will admit; if this pleases, more particulars may be adventured on hereafter; if it should not, it would make me suspect the other authors I have mention'd, knew what would please their country-men better than I: But I must run the venture of that, rather than trespass upon my own truth and their modesty.

    I hope it is no reflection upon Scotland to say they are where we were, I mean as to the improvement of their country and commerce; and they may be where we are.

    Here are but a few things needful to bring Scotland to be (in many parts of it at least) as rich in soil, as fruitful, as populous, as full of trade, shipping, and wealth, as most, if not as the best counties of England. These few things, indeed, are such as are absolutely necessary, and, perhaps, as things stand, may be difficult: Such as

    Time, public changes cannot be brought about in a day.
    A change in the disposition of the common people, from a desire of travelling abroad, and wandering from home, to an industrious and diligent application to labour at home.
    Stock and substance, to encourage that application: sloth is not a meer disease of the nation: The Scots are as diligent, as industrious, as apt for labour and business, and as capable of it, when they are abroad, as any people in the world; and why should they not be so at home? and, if they had encouragement, no doubt they would.
    Some little alteration in their methods of husbandry, by which their lands would be improv'd, and the produce thereof turn better to account; of all which something may be said in our progress thro' the country, as occasion presents.

  265. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  266. In the meantime, as I shall not make a Paradise of Scotland, so I assure you I shall not make a wilderness of it. I shall endeavour to shew you what it really is, what it might be, and what, perhaps, it would much sooner have been, if some people's engagements were made good to them, which were lustily promis'd a little before the late Union: Such as erecting manufactures there under English direction, embarking stocks from England to carry on trade, employing hands to cut down their northern woods, and make navigations to bring the fir-timber,. and deals to England, of which Scotland is able to furnish an exceeding quantity; encouraging their fishery, and abundance of fine things more which were much talk'd of I say, but little done; and of which I could say more, but it is not the business of this. work, nor, perhaps, will the age care to hear it, at least, south by Tw--

    I must, therefore, be contented to give an Account of Scotland in the present state of it, and as it really is; leaving its misfortunes, and want of being improv'd as it might be, and, perhaps, ought to have been, for those to consider of, in whose power it is to mend it.

  267. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  268. SIR,-I am now just enter'd Scotland, and that by the ordinary way from Berwick. We tread upon Scots ground, after about three miles riding beyond Berwick; the little district between, they say, is neither in England or Scotland, and is call'd Berwickshire, as being formerly a dependant upon the town of Berwick; but we find no towns in it, only straggling farm-houses; and one sees the Tweed on one side, which fetches a reach north ward, the sea on the other, and the land between lies so high, that in stormy weather 'tis very bleak and unpleasant; however, the land is good, and compar'd to our next view, we ought to think very well of it.

    The first town in Scotland is call'd Mordintown, where the minister, at that time, was a man of learning, particularly in matters of religious antiquity, and very well known for being author of a book, entitul'd, The Cyprianick Age , in defence of the Scots doctrines of the purity of the Christian ministers; a piece, that shews the author a man of a good share of learning, and a double stock of reading, especially in the most valuable part of church antiquity: His name is Lauder.

    Mordintown lying to the west, the great road does not lie thro' it, but carries us to the brow of a very high hill, where we had a large view into Scotland: But we were welcom'd into it with such a Scots gale of wind, that, besides the steepness of the hill, it oblig'd us to quit our horses, for real apprehensions of being blown off, the wind blowing full north, and the road turning towards the north, it blew directly in our faces: And I can truly say, I never was sensible of so fierce a wind, so exceeding keen and cold, for it pierc'd our very eyes, that we could scarcely bear to hold them open.

    When we came down the hill, the strength of the wind was not felt so much, and, consequently, not the cold. The first town we come to is as perfectly Scots, as if you were 100 miles north of Edinburgh; nor is there the least appearance of any thing English, either in customs, habits, usages of the people, or in their way of living, eating, dress, or behaviour; any more than if they had never heard of an English nation; nor was there an Englishman to be seen, or an English family to be found among them.

    On the contrary, you have in England abundance of Scotsmen, Scots customs, words, habits, and usages, even more than comes them; nay, even the buildings in the towns, and in the villages, imitate the Scots almost all over Northumberland; witness their building the houses with the stairs (to the second floor) going up on the outside of the house, so that one family may live below, and another above, without going in at the same door; which is the Scots way of living, and which we see in Alnwick and Warkworth, and several other towns; witness also their setting their corn up in great numbers of small stacks without doors, not making use of any barns, only a particular building, which they call a barn, but, which is itself no more than a threshing-floor, into which they take one of those small stacks at a time, and thresh it out, and then take in another; which we have great reason to believe was the usage of the antients, seeing we read of threshing-floors often; but very seldom, of a barn, except that of the rich glutton.

  269. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  270. Being down this hill, we pass'd a bridge over the little River Eye, at the mouth of which there is a small habour, with a town call'd Eyemouth, or, as some call it, Heymouth, which has of late been more spoken of than formerly, by giving the title of baron to the late Duke of Marlborough, who was Duke of Marlborough, Marquis of Blandford, and Baron of Eyemouth in Scotland; and, by virtue of this title, had a right of peerage in the Parliament of Scotland. But notwithstanding all this, I never heard that he did any thing for the town, which is, at present, just what it always was, a good fishing town, and some fishing vessels belong to it; for such it is a good harbour, and for little else; in Queen Elizabeth's time, indeed, the French held it and fortify'd it for their particular occasion; because, being the first port in Scotland, they might safely land their supplies for the Queen-Mother, who stood in great need of their assistance against the reformers: But they were oblig'd to quit both that and all the kingdom some time after, by a treaty; Queen Elizabeth supporting the reformers against her.

    From this bridge we enter upon a most desolate, and, in winter, a most frightful moor for travellers, especially strangers, call'd Coudingham, or, to speak properly, Coldingham Moor; upon which, for about eight miles, you see hardly a hedge, or a tree, except in one part, and that at a good distance; nor do you meet with but one house in all the way, and that no house of entertainment; which, we thought, was but a poor reception for Scotland to give her neighbours, who were strangers, at their very first entrance into her bounds.

    The place call'd Coudingham, from whence this moor derives, is an old monastery, famous before the Reformation; the monks of Coldingham being eminent for their number and wealth; as for any thing else, this Deponet saith not.

    Here was formerly a little cell, or religious house also, sacred to the memory of St. Ebbe, or Ebba, daughter of King Edelfrid, King of Northumberland; who, her father being taken prisoner by the pagan Mercians, gat into a boat in the Humber, with three other women, and, by their own prayers only, for skill we may suppose they had none, nor could they labour much; yet, putting to sea, were miraculously preserv'd, and carry'd as far as Scotland; where, under a great promontory, they were driven on shore by a storm, and their boat dash'd in pieces, as indeed, any one, though knowing the place, might very well be, for the shore is all rock and high precipices for a long way.

    However, being on shore, they labour'd with their hands, made themselves a little hut to lodge in, and continuing their devout prayers, the country people sustain'd them with food, till at length, gaining an opinion for their sanctity and austerity, they were address'd from far and near for their prayers, and, by the charity of the people, got enough to build a religious house at Coldingham.

  271. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  272. Here, as fame says, when the cruel Danes came on shore, the religious lady, who was wondrous beautiful too, it seems, cut off her nose and upper lip, and made all her nuns do the same, to preserve, by that means, their chastity. But the barbarous Danes, enrag'd at them for their zeal, fir'd their nunnery, and burnt them all alive; from this lady, who, it is said, was sainted for these miracles, the promontory, where she landed, is to this day call'd St. Ebba's Head; and vulgarly by our sailors, who nickname e very thing, St. Tabbs.

    Having pass'd this desart, which indeed, makes a stranger think Scotland a terrible place, you come down a very steep hill into the Lothains, so the counties are divided, and they are spoken of in plural; because as Yorkshire is divided into the East and West Riding, so here is the East, and West, and Mid Lothain, or Louthain, and therefore justly call'd Lothains in the plural. From the top of this hill you begin to see that Scotland is not all desart; and the Low Lands, which then show themselves, give you a prospect of a fruitful and pleasant country: As soon as we come down the hill, there is a village call'd Cockburnspeth, vulgarly Cobberspeth, where nature forms a very steep and difficult pass, and where, indeed, a thousand men well furnish'd, and boldly doing their duty, would keep out an army, if there was occasion.

    The first gentleman's house we met with in Scotland was that of Dunglass, the seat of Sir James Hall; a gentleman so hospitable, so courteous to strangers, so addicted to improve and cultivate his estate, and understood it so well, that we began to see here a true representation of the gentry of Scotland; than whom, I must say, without compliment, none in Europe, understand themselves better, or better deserve the name of Gentlemen. We began also to see that Scotland was not so naturally barren, as some people represent it, but, with application and judgment, in the proper methods of improving lands, might be made to equal, not England only, but even the richest, most fruitful, most pleasant, and best improv'd part of England: Nor, if I have any skill in the nature of improving lands, which I a little pretend to, or judgment of what land itself is capable of, is the county of Middlesex, or Hertfordshire, which is esteem'd the most completely improv'd part of England, and the richest soil, capable of any improvement, which this country of East Lothain is not also capable of, if they had the same methods of improvement, and the Scots were as good husbandmen as the English; and even this too might easily be brought to pass, would the gentlemen set about it, as this gentleman has, in part, already done, at their own expence.

    The truth is, the soil hereabout is very good; and tho' they have not marle, or chalk, or much lime-stone to mend and manure it, yet, the sea-ware, as they call the weeds, which the sea casts up, abundantly supplies; and by laying this continually on the land, they plow every year without laying their lands fallow, as we do; and I found they had as much corn, as our plowmen express it, as could stand upon the ground.

  273. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  274. he first town of note, from hence, is Dunbar, a royal burgh, so they are call'd in Scotland, which is (much what) we call a Corporation in England, and which sent members to parliament, as our corporations in England do, only that in Scotland, as is generally to be understood, they had some particular privileges separate to themselves; as that, for example, of holding a parliament, or convention of burghs by themselves, a method taken from the union of the Hans-Towns in the north, and not much unlike it, in which they meet and concert measures for the publick good of the town, and of their trade, and make by-laws, or Acts and declarations, which bind the whole body.

    Nor have they lost this privilege by the Union with England; but it is preserved entire, and, perhaps, is now many ways more advantageous to them than it was before, as their trade is like to be, in time, more considerable than before.

    This town of Dunbar is a handsome well-built town, upon the sea-shore; where they have a kind of a natural harbour, tho' in the middle of dangerous rocks.

    They have here a great herring-fishery, and particularly they hang herrings here, as they do at Yarmouth in Norfolk, for the smoking them; or, to speak the ordinary dialect, they make red herrings here: I cannot say they are cur'd so well as at Yarmouth, that is to say, not for keeping and sending on long voyages, as to Venice and Leghorn, though with a quick passage, they might hold it thither too: However, they do it very well. The herrings also themselves may a little make the difference, because they are generally larger and fatter than those at Yarmouth, which makes it more difficult to cure them, so as to keep in a hot country, and on a long voyage.

    Between the town and the great road stands a little, but pleasant and agreeable seat of the Duke of Roxburgh, with a park well planted: And as the gentlemen of Scotland are now set upon planting forest trees, as well for ornament as profit, this park is, among the rest, very handsomely planted with young trees in vistas and walks, and will, when grown, add both to the value and beauty of the seat, which otherwise is but as a box. And here I would give an useful hint to the gentlemen who plant trees in Scotland, the want of which I have observ'd at several great houses and parks in that country, is the reason why they do not thrive, as they might otherwise do: The case is this. The gentlemen, at a great expence, get quantities of forest trees, either of their own raising, or from the nursery-men, as they call them in England. Those are set at a good length, perhaps, 12 to 15 foot high, handsome bodies, and good heads; and I acknowledge they are the best siz'd trees to plant, and that when set younger they seldom stand it, or come to the like perfection: But then these trees should be all secur'd by a triangular frame to each tree; that is to say, three large stakes set about them in an equilateral triangle, and fasten'd all together by three short cross pieces at the top; and these stakes should stand from 7 to 8 foot high.

  275. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  276. In the center of the triangle stands the planted tree; which way soever the wind blows, the body bends from it to the cross piece, which joins the stakes on that side, and which make the triangle, and then can bend no farther; by which means the root is not shaken, or the earth mov'd and loosen'd about it, and then the tree will strike root, and grow.

    But for want of this, the tree being left without support, before, as we may say, it can stand alone; and the winds, especially in winter, being very strong in that country, the tree is bended every way, the earth loosen'd continually about it, the root is often stirr'd, and the tree gets no time to strike root into the earth. And this is the reason why, in many of the gentlemen's parks, I saw the trees stented and bauk'd; and that, tho' they had been planted many years, they could not thrive: If this caution may be of use, as I recommend it with a desire it may, the gentlemen will not think their time lost in the reading it.

    On the south west side of this town, under the mountains, near a place call'd Dun-Hill, is the fatal field where the battel, call'd the battel of Dunbar, was fought, between Oliver Cromwell and General Lesly, who then commanded the royal army; where the desperate few, for Cromwell's army was not above 8,000 men, defeated and totally overthrew the great army of the other side, kill'd 6,000, and took 10,000 prisoners, to the surprize of the world; but that is matter of history, and none of my business at present.

    Here we turn'd out of the way to see the Marquess of Tweedal's fine park, and which is, indeed, the main thing, his fine planting at Yester, or, as Antiquity calls it, Zester; I say the park, because, tho' there is the design of a noble house or palace, and great part of it built; yet, as it is not yet, and perhaps, will not soon be finished, there is no giving a compleat description of it.

    The old Earl of Tweedale, who was a great favourite of King Charles II. tho' not much concern'd in politic affairs, at least, not in England, yet took in from the king the love of managing what we call forest trees, and making fine vistas and avenues: The very first year after the Restoration the king laid out, with his own hand, the planting of Greenwich and St. James's parks, and several others, and the said earl had seen them, and was extremely delighted with the method.

  277. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  278. This occasion'd his lordship, as soon as he went down into Scotland, to lay out the plan and design of all those noble walks and woods of trees, or, as it might be call'd, forests of trees, which he afterwards saw planted, and of which a gentleman, whose judgment I cannot doubt, told me, that if ever those trees came to be worth but six pence a tree, they would be of more value than the fee simple of that estate; not meaning by that estate the land they grow on, but the whole paternal estate of the family: Nor is it unlikely, if it be true, that his lordship, and his immediate successor, planted above 6,000 acres of land all full of firr-trees; and that, where-ever it was found that any tree fail'd, they were constantly renew'd the next year.

    It is certain, that many of the trees are, by this time, of much more value than six pence a tree; for they have now been planted near three-score years. And tho' it is true, that a firr-tree is but a slow grower, and that most, if not all the trees I speak of, are firr; yet it must be allow'd that, the trees thriving very well, they must, by this time, be very valuable; and, if they stand another age, and we do not find the family needy of money enough to make them forward to cut any of them down, there may be a noble estate in firr timber, enough, if it falls into good hands, to enrich the family.

    The park itself is said to be eight miles about, but the plantation of firr is not simply confin'd to the park, nor, indeed, to this estate; for the family of Tweedale has another seat near Musclebro, at Pinkey, where the same lord planted also a great number of trees, as his successors have likewise done at another seat, which they have in Fife, near Aberdour.

    The house, however, must not be forgot; and if it shall be finish'd, as they now tell us it will soon be, it will not suffer itself to be forgot, for there will be few finer palaces in Scotland; I mean, if it be finish'd according to the magnificence of the first design.

    As the success of this planting is a great encouragement to the nobility of Scotland to improve their estates by the same method, so we find abundance of gentlemen of estates do fall into it, and follow the example: And you hardly see a gentleman's house, as you pass the Louthains, towards Edinburgh, but they are distinguish'd by groves and walks of firr-trees about them; which, tho' in most places they are but young, yet they shew us, that in a few years, Scotland will not need to send to Norway for timber and deal, but will have sufficient of her own, and perhaps, be able to furnish England too with considerable quantities.

    We saw an example of this at the Earl of Hadington's house at Tinningham; where, tho' the trees are younger than at Yester, yet, they seem to follow them apace, and to thrive so much, as that they may, one time or other, overtake them. The like we saw in Fife, at Sir William Bruce's, and at several other places in this part of the country.

  279. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  280. From this town of Dunbar to Edinburgh, the country may be reckon'd not only as fruitful and rich in soil, but also as pleasant and agreeable a country as any in Scotland, and, indeed, as most in England; the sea on the right hand, at a moderate distance, and the hills on the left, at a farther distance; and even those hills not extremely high, not barren, not desolate mountains, as I have given an account of some farther south, and have more to speak of farther north. But these hills are passable and habitable, and have large flocks of sheep, in many places, feeding on them, and many open roads lie over them, as from Edinburgh, and other parts towards England; as particular to Yester, and to Duns and Coldstream on the Tweed; another way to Kelsoe, where also there is a ford and a ferry over the Tweed, and likewise by another way to Tiviotdale, to Peebles and Jedburgh, of which hereafter.

    The greatest thing this country wants is more enclos'd pastures, by which the farmers would keep stocks of cattle well fodder'd in the winter, and, which again, would not only furnish good store of butter, cheese, and beef to the market, but would, by their quantity of dung, enrich their soil, according to the unanswerable maxim in grazing, that stock upon land improves land.

    Two other articles would encrease and enrich them, but which they never practise.

    Folding their sheep.
    Fallowing their plow'd land.
    The first would fatten the land, and the latter destroy the weeds: But this is going out of my way. They have, indeed, near the sea, an equivalent which assists them exceedingly, namely, the sea weed, they call it the sea ware, which the sea casts up from about November to January in great quantities, and which extremely fattens and enriches the lands, so that they are plow'd from age to age without lying fallow: But farther from the sea, and where they cannot fetch it, there they are forc'd to lay the lands down to rest; when, as we say in England, they have plow'd them out of heart, and so they get no advantage by them; whereas could they, by a stock of cattle, raise a stock of muck, or by folding sheep upon them, mend them that way, and lay them down one year in three or four, as we do in England, the lands would hold from one generation to another.

  281. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  282. But at present, for want of enclosures, they have no winter provision for black cattle; and, for want of that winter provision, the farmers have no dairies, no butter or cheese; that is to say, no quantity, and no heaps of dung in their yards to return upon the land for its improvement: And thus a good soil is impoverish'd for want of husbandry.

    I deliver this once for all; for I shall make all my farther observations of this kind very short, and only proper to the particular places where I shall mention them.

    From Dunbar we pass another River Tyne, which, to distinguish it from the two Tynes in Northumberland, I call Scots Tyne, tho' not forgetting to let you know it is not so distinguish'd there, the inhabitants thereabouts scarce knowing any other. It rises in the hills near Yester, and watering part of the fine and pleasant vale I mentioned before, runs by Haddington, an old half ruin'd, yet remaining town; which shews the marks of decay'd beauty, for it was formerly a large, handsome, and well built town, or city rather, and esteem'd very strong; for, besides the walls of stone, which were in those times esteem'd strong, the English fortify'd it with lines and bastions, four of which bastions were very large, as may be seen, by the remains of them, to this day; also they had a large ditch; as for counterscarps, they were scarce known in those times. However, it was so strong, that the English, commanded by an old soldier, Sir George Wilford, defended it obstinately against a great army of Frenen and Scots, till his garrison were almost all swept away by the plague; and, even then, held out till he was reliev'd from England, when the English army quitted the place, and demolish'd the fortifications.

    However, Haddington is still a good town, has some handsome streets, and well built; and they have a good stone bridge over the Tyne, tho' the river is but small. The church was large, but has suffer'd in the ruin of the rest, and is but in part repair'd, tho' 'tis still large enough for the number of inhabitants; for, tho' the town is still what may be call'd populous, 'tis easy to see that it is not like what it has been. There are some monuments of the Maitlands, antient lords of this part of the country, remaining; but as the choir of the church is open and defac'd, the monuments of the dead have suffer'd with the rest.

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  284. I saw here something of a manufacture, and a face of industry; and it was the first that I had seen the least appearance of in Scotland; particularly here, was a woollen manufacture, erected by a company, or corporation, for making broad cloths, such as they call'd English cloth. And as they had English workmen employ'd, and, which was more than all, English wool, they really made very good cloth, well mix'd, and good colours: But I cannot say they made it as cheap, or could bring it so cheap to market as the English; and this was the reason, that, tho' before the late Union, the English cloth being prohibited upon severe penalties, their own cloth supplied them very well; yet, as soon as the Union was made, and by that means the English trade open'd, the clothiers from Worcester, and the counties adjoining such as Gloucester and Wilts, brought in their goods, and under selling the Scots, those manufactories were not able to hold it.

    However, as I said, here was a woollen manufacture, and the people being employ'd in spinning, dying, weaving, &. they turn'd their hands to other things; and there is still some business going on to the advantage of the poor. Also upon the Tyne, near Haddington, we saw very good fulling-mills; whether they still have employment, I am not certain. They talk'd also of setting up a paper-mill after the Union, the French paper being not allow'd to be imported as formerly.

    At the mouth of this river stands the remains of Tantallon Castle, mostly bury'd in its own ruins; it was famous, in the Scots history, for being the seat of rebellion, in the reign of King James V. And hence came the old, and odd fancy among the soldiers, that the drums beating the Scots March, say, "Ding down tan-tallon." That beat or march being invented by King James the Vth's soldiers (or, perhaps, drummers) when they march'd against the Earl of Angus, who held out Tantallon Castle against the king. But this by the way: Tantallon is now no more a fortress, or able to shelter a rebel army.

    Neither is the Bass worth naming any more, which being a meer rock, standing high out of the sea, and in its situation inaccessible, was formerly made a small fortification, rather to prevent its being made a retreat for pyrates and thieves, than for any use it could be of to command the sea; for the entrance of the Forth, or Firth, is so wide, that ships would go in and out, and laugh at any thing that could be offer'd from the Bass. The most of its modern fame is contain'd in two articles, and neither of them recommend it to posterity.

    That in the times of tyranny and cruelty, under the late King Charles II. and King James II. it was made a state-prison, where the poor persecuted western people, call'd, in those times, Cameronians, were made close prisoners, and liv'd miserably enough, without hope or expectation of deliverance, but by death.
    That after the Revolution a little desperate crew of people got possession of it; and, having a large boat, which they hoisted up into the rock, or let down at pleasure, committed several pyracies, took a great many vessels, and held out the last of any place in Great Britain, for King James; but their boat being at last seiz'd, or otherwise lost, they were oblig'd to surrender. The Soland geese are the principal inhabitants of this island, a fowl rare as to the kind; for they are not found in any part of Britain, that I can learn, except here, and at some of the lesser islands in the Orcades, and in the island of Ailzye, in the mouth of the Clyde. They come as certainly at their season, as the swallows or woodcocks, with this difference, if what the people there tell us may be depended on; that they come exactly, to the very same day of the month, or, if they change it for reasons best known to themselves, then they keep exactly to the new fix'd day; and so, upon any alteration of their time, which also is very seldom.

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  286. They feed on the herrings, and therefore 'tis observ'd they come just before, or with them, and go away with them also; tho', 'tis evident, they do not follow them, but go all away to the north, whither, as to that, none knows but themselves, and he that guides them: As they live on fish, so they eat like fish, which, together with their being so exceeding fat, makes them, in my opinion, a very coarse dish, rank, and ill relish'd, and soon gorging the stomach. But as they are look'd upon there as a dainty, I have no more to say; all countries have their several gusts and particular palates. Onions and garlick were dainties it seems, in Egypt, and horse-flesh is so to this day in Tartary, and much more may a Soland goose be so in other places.

    It is a large fowl, rather bigger than an ordinary goose; 'tis duck-footed, and swims as a goose; but the bill is long, thick, and pointed like a crane, or heron, only much thicker, and not above five inches long. Their laying but one egg, which sticks to the rock, and will not fall off, unless pull'd off by force, and then not to be stuck on again; though we thought them fictions, yet, being there at the season, we found true; as also their hatching, by holding the egg fast in their foot. What Nature meant by giving these singularities to a creature, that has nothing else in it worth notice, we cannot determine.

    From hence, keeping the shore of the Firth, or Forth, due west, we find a range of large and populous villages all along the coast, almost to Leith, interspers'd with abundance of the houses of the nobility and gentry, at a small distance from them, farther into the country.

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  288. But I must enter a caution for your notice, and please to take it here once for all. I am writing a description of places, not of persons, giving the present state of things, not their history: And therefore, though in some cases I may step back into history, yet, it shall be very seldom, and on extraordinary occasions. For Scotland is not so barren of things, worth observation, that we should run into the history, and the genealogies of families, the description of the constitution, the laws, and manner of administration of civil justice, government, and such things as are remote from the profess'd business of a tour. I shall not, therefore, with every nobleman's house, give a history of the family: The nobility of Scotland are antient, illustrious, and personally great, and, if spoken of at all, require and ought to have a full and authentic description of their families and glorious ancestors perform'd by itself; and, I must confess, 'tis great pity such a thing is not undertaken by some hands equal to so great a work, both here and in England also; for want of which, many, if not most of the great actions of the nobility and gentry of these two kingdoms, are either quite lost and dropt out of knowledge, or are dwindled into fable and romance, and, like the battle of Chevy-Chase, preserv'd only in bailad and song.

    But I am not to go about this here, tho' I shall, on all occasions, give the noble families a due homage, and speak of them as they ought to be spoken of; yet, as it is not the business of this undertaking, you will not expect me to enter into the history of families, or to look any farther into persons than into things, namely to give an account of their present situation and condition.

    In order to this 'tis sufficient to mark, that this part of the country is delightfully spread with the seats of noblemen and gentlemen; as the Duke of Roxburgh's at Dunbar, the Earl of Haddington's at Tinningham, both mentioned before; the Lord Bellhaven's, at Bellhaven; that of the family of Dalrymple ennobl'd in the Earl of Stairs, and honour'd in several branches of that house, the eldest being now Lord President of their Session, and another lately Lord Advocate, &. These about north Berwick, where there is a small and a tolerable good market: They have also in the neighbourhood of this place several very fine seats, and finely planted. The house and estate of Dirleton, now in the family of Nisbet, is in this part of the country, and well situated also. Ormistoun, the seat of the present Lord Justice Clerk, of the antient house of Cockburn, or, as commonly express'd, Coburn.

    And I must add here, the antient and noble house of Seaton and Winton: Both the palaces, for so they deserve to be call'd, of the late Earl of Winton, who did so many weak and rash things, to say no worse of him, in the affair of the late rebellion; and the kindest thing can be said of him now is, to leave it upon record, that he seem'd to be turn'd in his head. The houses are now in a state of ruin, and as fine an estate, for its value, as any in Scotland, all lying contiguous with itself, and valued at almost 5,000l . sterling per Annum besides; but all now under forfeiture, and sold to the York-Buildings Company. The fine gates and stone-wall were demolish'd by the government, after it had been made a garrison by the Highlanders; who, from hence began their hairbrain'd march to England, which expedition ended at Presten, as has been mention'd in my account of Lancashire. But I return to the sea-shore as above.

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  290. The towns upon this coast, as I said, stand very thick, and here are two or three articles of trade which render them more populous, and more considerable than they would otherwise be.

    There are great quantities of white fish taken and cur'd upon this coast, even within, as well as at the mouth of the Firth; and, as I had occasion to inspect this part, I took notice the fish was very well cur'd, merchantable, and fit for exportation; and there was a large ship at that time come from London, on purpose to take in a loading of that fish for Bilboa in Spain.
    There is great plenty of coal in the hills, and so near the sea as to make the carriage not difficult; and much of that coal is carried to Edinburgh, and other towns, for sale.
    The coal being thus at hand, they make very good salt at almost all the towns upon the shore of the Firth; as at Seaton, Cockenny, Preston, and several others, too many to name: They have a very great trade for this salt to Norway, Hamburgh, Bremen, and the Baltick; and the number of ships loaded here yearly with salt is very considerable; nay, the Dutch and Bremers in particular, come hither on purpose to load salt, as they do on the opposite side of the Firth also, (viz.) the shore of Fife, of which I shall speak in its place.
    They take great quantities of oysters upon this shore also, with which they not only supply the city of Edinburgh, but they carry abundance of them in large, open boats, call'd Cobles, as far as Newcastle upon Tyne, from whence they generally bring back glass bottles. But there has, within a few years, a bottle-house been set up at Leith, which, for a while, work'd with success; also some furnaces were erected at Preston-Pans, one of those villages, for making flint-glass, and other glass ware: But I hear they are discontinued for want of skilful hands.
    It must not be omitted, that at several of those villages there are little moles and harbours, or piers, and heads built up at considerable expence, for the securing the ships that come to them to load salt, or other goods; as at Seaton, Cokenny, at north Berwick, at Preston, and other places.

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  292. We come now to Musclebro, a large borough-town and populous, and may, indeed, be said to be a cluster of towns, all built together into one, namely, Musclebro, Innerask, or Inneresk, and Fisheraw; all which amount to no more than this. Musclebro, or the main or chief town of Musclebro; Inneresk, or that part of Musclebro which stands within, or on the inner side of the River Esk, and Fisheraw, or the row of houses where the fishermen usually dwell; for here is still many fishermen, and was formerly many more, when the Muscle fishing was counted a valuable thing; but now 'tis given over, tho' the Muscles lye on the shore, and on the shoals of sand in the mouth of this river, in vast quantities.

    These three towns together make one large burrough, very populous; for here are thought to be more people than at Haddington. Here also we saw the people busy on the woollen manufacture; and as the goods they made here were an ordinary kind of stuff for poor peoples wearing, we do not find they are out-done at all from England, so that the manufacture is carried on here still with success.

    They call this a sea-port town; but as their river, tho' sometimes full enough of water, is not navigable; for, at low water, people ride over the mouth of it upon the sands, and even walk over it; so they do not meddle much with trading by sea.

    At that part of the town call'd Inner-Esk are some handsome country houses with gardens, and the citizens of Edinburgh come out in the summer and take lodgings here for the air, as they do from London at Kensington Gravel-Pits, or at Hampstead and Highgate.

    Adjoining to this part is the other fine seat of the Marquess of Tweedale. call'd Pinkey, which I mention'd before, and which the family resides at, rather than at Yester; for, tho' Yester be the noblest and most magnificent building; yet this is, by far, the most agreeable situation; besides, the former is not finish'd, nor like to be finish'd in many years, tho' they were to go faster on with it than they do.

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  294. The house of Pinkey has a park, which they call four miles about, but, I think, is not much above half so much: But the spirit of planting, which the old Earl of Tweedale so happily exerted at Yester, shew'd itself here also, and an innumerable number of fir trees are seen here in a very thriving condition, and promising, in time, to be of an inestimable value.

    As the house at Yester is not finish'd, all the rich furniture, and especially pictures, of which the same Earl was a great collector, are lodg'd here; though, 'tis not doubted, they will hereafter be transpos'd and remov'd to adorn the chief palace and mansion of the family. Here are, indeed, a great many valuable pieces of painting, but the family pieces are particular, and very remarkable, some for their antiquity, and the antient dress of the age they were wrought in, and others, for the fineness of the workmanship; as especially that of the old Marquess of Tweedale, and his fifteen children, done after the manner of that of King Charles I. and his royal family, which formerly stood at the upper end of the long gallery, at Whitehall. So this stands at the upper end of a large room, fill'd up with other family pieces, and takes up one whole square of the room.

    I cannot dwell upon the rest of the fine paintings here; it must surfice to add, here are a great many, and very good. Here are also three very fine altar pieces, with others of that kind, suppos'd to belong to private Oratories in Popish times, with Passion pieces, and others of that kind also.

    From hence we have but four miles to Edinburgh. But, before I go thither, I must dip so far into story, as to observe that here it was the famous Battle of Musclebro was fought between the English, under the Duke of Somerset, in the time of King Edward VI. of England, and the Scots royal army under the Regent, which was afterwards call'd, the English way of wooing: The quarrel was to obtain the young Queen of Scots for a wife to King Edward, which the Scots Popish Party, back'd by the French, were obstinately against; and that so much, that tho' the English won the battle, yet they lost the prize, for the young queen was privately embarqu'd, carry'd away into France, and there marry'd to the dauphin.

    I say this battle was fought here, tho' we call it the Battle of Musclebro: And some Scots gentlemen, who rode out with us afterwards to shew us the place, particularly mark'd out every step to us, where the action was both begun and ended, as well the fight as the pursuit; and we agreed that the Scots are in the right, who call it the Battle of Pinkie, not of Musclebro. 'Tis none of my business to give an account of battles and sieges; besides, the English being victors, I shall not mingle any of our trophies and triumphs with my account of Scotland; that would not be using the Scots fairly. I shall speak freely of those where they were victors, but not throw the English, as it were, in their faces; that would be to act the very part which I blame the Scots writers for, namely to be always crying up my own country, and my own people.

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  296. Certain it is, the Scots' great error at this battle, as it was afterwards at the Battle of Dunbar, was want of unanimity among themselves; for we must always blush when we pretend to say the Scots ever wanted courage in the field, let the cause, or the time, or the government be what, when, and how they will.

    Another mistake of the Scots, at this fight, was that they ventur'd to engage so near the sea, as to be within reach of the cannon from the English men of war, in the road of Musclebro, who, very much to their damage, flank'd their army, and kept firing on the left wing all the while of the battle, till the troops were so mingled with one another, that they could not, from the ships, distinguish their enemies from their friends. This was a great disadvantage to their whole army, and especially discourag'd and disorder'd their infantry, and was owing to the inadvertency of the general officers, not want of courage or bravery in their men; and it would have been the same to the English had the case been theirs.

    I am now at the gates of Edinburgh; but before I come to describe the particulars of that city, give me leave to take it in perspective, and speak something of its situation, which will be very necessary with respect to some disadvantage which the city lyes under on that account.

    When you stand at a small distance, and take a view of it from the east, you have really but a confus'd idea of the city, because the situation being in length from east to west, and the breadth but ill proportion'd to its length, you view under the greatest disadvantage possible; whereas if you turn a little to the right hand towards Leith, and so come towards the city, from the north you see a very handsome prospect of the whole city, and from the south you have yet a better view of one part, because the city is encreased on that side with new streets, which, on the north side, cannot be.

    The particular situation then of the whole is thus. At the extremity of the east end of the city stands the palace or court, call'd Haly-Rood House; and you must fetch a little sweep to the right hand to leave the palace on the left, and come at the entrance, which is call'd the Water Port, and which you come at thro' a short suburb, then bearing to the left again, south, you come to the gate of the palace which faces the great street. From the palace, west, the street goes on in almost a straight line, and for near a mile and a half in length, some say full two measur'd miles, thro' the whole city to the castle, including the going up the castle in the inside; this is, perhaps, the largest, longest, and finest street for buildings and number of inhabitants, not in Britain only, but in the world.

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  298. From the very palace door, which stands on a flat, and level with the lowest of the plain country, the street begins to ascend; and tho' it ascends very gradually at first, and is no where steep, yet 'tis easy to understand that continuing the ascent for so long a way, the further part must necessarily be very high; and so it is; for the castle which stands at the extremity west, as the palace does east, makes on all the three sides, that only excepted, which joins it to the city, a frightful and impassable precipice.

    Together with this continued ascent, which, I think, 'tis easy to form an idea of in the mind, you are to suppose the edge or top of the ascent so narrow, that the street, and the row of houses on each side of it, take up the whole breadth; so that which way soever you turn, either to the right, or to the left, you go down hill imediately, and that so steep, as is very troublesome to those who walk in those side lanes which they call Wynds, especially if their lungs are not very good: So that, in a word, the city stands upon the narrow ridge of a long ascending mountain.

    On the right side, or north side of the city, and from the very west end of it, where the castle stands, is a lough, or lake of standing water; there is, indeed, a small brook runs thro' it, so that it cannot be said to be quite standing water. And we were told, that in former days there was another lough on the south side of it, which, being now fill'd up, is built into a street, tho' so much lower than the high street, or ridge, that, as I said before, the lanes or wynds between them are very steep.

    It is easy to conclude, that such a situation as this could never be pick'd out for a city or town, upon any other consideration than that of strength to defend themselves from the suddain surprizes and assaults of enemies: And, tho' the building is so antient, that no history has recorded the foundation, either when, or by who, or on what occasion it was built; yet, I say, it seems most natural to conclude, that it was built for a retreat from the outrages and attempts of the Picts or Irish, or whatever other enemies they had to fear.

    On the top of the ridge of a hill, an impregnable castle and precipice at one end, a lough, or lake of water on either side; so that the inhabitants had nothing to defend but the entrance at the east end, which it was easy to fortify.

    If this was not the reason, what should have hinder'd them from building the city in a pleasant, delightful valley, with the sea flowing up to one side, and a fresh water river running thro' the middle of it; such as is all that space of ground between the city, as it now stands, and the sea, or Firth, and on the south shore, whereof the town of Leith now stands?

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  300. Here they had had a noble, a pleasant, and a most useful situation, a very fine harbour for their trade, a good road in the Firth for their ships of burthen, a pleasant river, which, with small art or charge, might have been so drawn round the city as to have fill'd its ditches, and made its fortifications as impregnable as the two loughs did the city, and as the French, when they fortify'd Leith, found easy to do. Or had they gone to the south side of the city, beyond the deep lough, which, they say it was, and which is now call'd the Cowgate, and extended the city towards Libertoun, and towards Good-Trees, where now stands the delightful seat of Sir James Stuart, late Lord Advocate of Scotland, and the antient seat of Craigmiller, the seat of Sir Alexander--of Craigmiller. Here had been a plain large enough to have contain'd a second London, and water'd on the south part with a pleasant brook, sufficient, by the help of pipes, to have carried water into every street, and every house.

    These things they did not foresee, or understand in those days; but, regarding immediate safety, fix'd on the place as above as a sure strength, form'd by Nature, and ready at their hand. By this means the city suffers infinite disadvantages, and lies under such scandalous inconveniences as are, by its enemies, made a subject of scorn and reproach; as if the people were not as willing to live sweet and clean as other nations, but delighted in stench and nastiness; whereas, were any other people to live under the same unhappiness, I mean as well of a rocky and mountainous situation, throng'd buildings, from seven to ten or twelve story high, a scarcity of water, and that little they have difficult to be had, and to the uppermost lodgings, far to fetch; we should find a London or a Bristol as dirty as Edinburgh, and, perhaps, less able to make their dwelling tolerable, at least in so narrow a compass; for, tho' many cities have more people in them, yet, I believe, this may be said with truth, that in no city in the world so many people live in so little room as at Edinburgh.

    On the north side of the city, as is said above, is a spacious, rich, and pleasant plain, extending from the lough, which as above joins the city, to the river of Leith, at the mouth of which is the town of Leith, at the distance of a long Scots mile from the city: And even here, were not the north side of the hill, which the city stands on, so exceeding steep, as hardly, (at least to the westward of their flesh-market) to be clamber'd up on foot, much less to be made passable for carriages. But, I say, were it not so steep, and were the lough fill'd up, as it might easily be, the city might have been extended upon the plain below, and fine beautiful streets would, no doubt, have been built there; nay, I question much whether, in time, the high streets would not have been forsaken, and the city, as we might say, run all out of its gates to the North.

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  302. The first place of note we came to in Scotland was Annand, or as some call it, Annandale, as they do the county, though, I think, improperly. It was a town of note, and a sea-port, and having a good river and harbour, was esteem'd a town of good trade; but it was not situated for strength; and the English took it so often, and specially the last time burnt it to the ground, in that war so fatal to the Scots, in the reign of Edward VI. that it never recover'd. Here was a good salmon fishery, and a trade to the Isle of Man, and by that to Ireland: But as the face of trade is alter'd since that time, and by the ruins of the place the merchants, and men of substance, remov'd to Dumfries, the town continues, to all appearance, in a state of irrevocable decay.

    It was but a dull welcome into Scotland to see, not only by this town, that the remains of the old devastations, committed in the time of the hostilities between the two nations, were so visible, so unrepair'd, and, as we might say, so likely to continue unrepair'd; whereas, tho' there are remains also on the English side, yet, not so plain, and in many places things much restor'd, and in a way to be more so: But the poverty of the common people, and the indolence of the gentry, will fully account for the difference. The bridge over the river at Annand is very firm and good, and there is a tolerable good market.

    From hence, keeping the sea as close as we could on our left, we went on due west to Dumfries, a sea-port town at the mouth of the River Nid, or Nith, which gives name to the third division of the county call'd Nithsdale; but the town is justly the capital of the whole shire, and indeed, of all the south west part of Scotland.

    Here, indeed, as in some other ports on this side the island, the benefits of commerce, obtain'd to Scotland by the Union, appear visible; and that much more than on the east side, where they seem to be little, if any thing mended, I mean in their trade.

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  304. Dumfries was always a good town, and full of merchants. By merchants, here I mean, in the sense that word is taken and understood in England (viz.) not mercers and drapers, shopkeepers, &. but merchant-adventurers, who trade to foreign parts, and employ a considerable number of ships. But if this was so before, it is much more so now; and as they have (with success) embark'd in trade, as well to England as to the English plantations, they apparently encrease both in shipping and people; for as it almost every where appears, where trade increases, people must and will increase; that is, they flock to the place by the necessary consequences of the trade, and, in return, where the people increase, the trade will increase, because the necessary consumption of provisions, cloaths, furniture, &. necessarily increases, and with them the trade.

    This is such a chain of trading consequences, that they are not to be separated; and the town of Dumfries, as well as Liverpool, Manchester, Whitehaven, and other towns in England are demonstrations of it.

    This town is situated also for an increase of commerce on the River Nid, for tho' it stands near two leagues from the sea, yet the tide flows up to the town, and ships of burthen come close up to the key; but at about four miles below the town the largest merchant-ships in Britain might come up, and ride in safety.

    There is a very fine stone bridge here over the River Nid; as also a castle, tho' of old work, yet still good and strong enough; also an exchange for the merchants, and a Tolbooth, or townhall for the use of the magistrates. They had formerly a woollen manufacture here: But as the Union has, in some manner, suppress'd those things in Scotland, the English supplying them fully, both better and cheaper; so they have more than an equivalent by an open trade to all the English plantations, and to England itself.

    The castle in this town, as well as that at Carlavrock, near the mouth of the river, and opening to the Firth of Solway, was formerly belonging to the antient family of Nithsdale, the only remaining branch of which being unhappily embark'd in the late rebellion, and taken in arms at Presten, made his escape out of the tower, and is now abroad, but under forfeiture. That last mention'd castle has been a very magnificent structure, though now, like its owner, in a state of ruin and decay.

    The River Nid here parts the two counties of Galloway and Dumfries shire; and there is a gate in the middle of the bridge which is the limit between them: And this neighbourhood of Galloway, which is a great and rich province, promotes the trade of Dumfries very much.

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  306. We could not pass Dumfries without going out of the way upwards of a day, to see the castle of Drumlanrig, the fine palace of the Duke of Queensberry, which stands at twelve miles distance, upon the same river; the vale on either side the river is pleasant, and tolerably good: But when these rapid rivers overflow their banks, they do not, like Nile, or even like the Thames, and other southern streams, fatten and enrich the soil; on the contrary, they lodge so much sand and splinters of stone upon the surface of the earth, and among the roots of the grass, that spoils and beggars the soil; and the water is hurried on with such force also, as that in a good light soil it washes the best part of the earth away with it, leaving the sand and stones behind it.

    Drumlanrig, like Chatsworth in Darbyshire, is like a fine picture in a dirty grotto, or like an equestrian statue set up in a barn; 'tis environ'd with mountains, and that of the wildest and most hideous aspect in all the south of Scotland; as particularly that of Enterkin, the frightfullest pass, and most dangerous that I met with, between that and Penmenmuir in North Wales; but of that in its place.

    We were not so surpriz'd with the height of the mountains, and the barrenness of the country beyond them, as we were with the humour of the people, who are not in this part, by many degrees, so populous, or so polish'd, as in the other parts of Scotland. But that which was more surprising than all the rcst, was to see a palace so glorious, gardens so fine, and every thing so truly magnificent, and all in a wild, mountainous country, the like we had not seen before; where, in a word, we saw the peak of Darby restor'd, (viz.) the finest palace in all that part of Britain, erected under the mountains, full of lead-mines, and quarries of freestone, and where nothing, but what was desolate and dismal, could be expected, especially if you come to it by the said pass of Enterkin, or by the mountains of Cumock and Carrick, more to the north west of the place. This was certainly a foil to the buildings, and sets them off with all possible advantage; upon which the same hand which before gave us the lines upon the waters of Buxton-Bath, being in the company, bestow'd the following upon Drumlanrig Castle.

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  308. As you come to the palace from the road of Edinburgh, which is by the said pass of Enterkin, you come first to the River Nid, which is just there both broad and exceeding deep, over which there is a stately stone-bridge, built by the noble founder of the castle, I mean the first Duke of Queensberry, who built the house. The building is four-square, with roundels in the inner angles of the court, in every one of which is a stair-case, and a kind of a tower on the top. This way of building, 'tis confess'd, does not seem so modern as the rest of the building; but as 'tis not seen in the front, 'tis well enough.

    The house stands on the top of a rising ground, which, at its first building, lay with a steep and uncouth descent to the river, and which made the lookers-on wonder what the duke meant to build in such a disproportion'd place: But he best understood d his own design; for the house "once laid out, all that unequal descent is so beautifully levell'd and lay'd out in slopes and terrasses, that nothing can be better design'd, or, indeed, better perform'd than the gardens are, which take up the whole south and west sides of the house; and, when the whole design will be done, the rest will be more easy, the ground being a plain the other way, and the park and avenues compleatly planted with trees.

    At the extent of the gardens there are pavillions and banquetting-houses, exactly answering to one another, and the greens trimm'd, spaliers and hedges are in perfection.

    The inside is answerable to the outside, the apartments finely plac'd and richly furnish'd: And the gallery may well be call'd a gallery of beauties, itself's a beauty. And being fill'd from end to end, the whole length of one side of the building, with the family-pieces of the duke's ancestors, most of them at full length, and in their robes of state, or of office, as their history directed. William, the first raiser of the family, was only a knight and laird of Drumlanrig, who was sent ambassador to England, to ransome King James I. at that time detain'd in England. He was afterwards kill'd on the side of the French, in the great battle of Agincourt, fighting against Henry V. King of England, 1427. They were first ennobled for the real merit of their services, in the person of the first Lord of Drumlanrig, Ann. 1640. And King Charles I. made the then Lord of Drumlanrig Earl of Queensberry; a title taken from Queensberry Hill, a high, round hill, in a particular lordship of the estate, and in view of the house. After the Restoration, the grandson of the earl was created marquess and duke by King Charles II.

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  310. This was the person who built the noble palace I am speaking of, who, every way, merited the honours which the prince rather loaded him with, than bestow'd on him: He lyes buried in the parish church of Disdier or Didier, with a fine monument over him; but not like that lately erected for his son the late duke.

    This last mention'd duke would require a history rather than a bare mention, in a work of this kind: But I have forbid myself entring far into the characters of persons and families; and therefore, tho' I think myself bound to honour the merit of so great a person, I shall sum it up all in this; that as I had the honour to be known to his Grace, so I had the opportunity to see and read by his permission, several letters written to him by the late King William, with his own hand, and several more by Queen Anne, written also by her Majesty's own hand; with such expressions of their satisfaction in his fidelity and affection to their Majesties' service, his ability and extraordinary judgment in the affairs entrusted to him; his knowledge of, and zeal for the true interest of his country, and their dependance upon his councils and conduct, that no minister of state in Europe could desire greater testimonies of his services, or a better character from his sovereign, and this from differing princes, and at the distance of several years from one another, and, to be sure, without any manner of corresponding one with the other.

    That this noble person was Lord Commissioner at the time of the Union, sat in the throne at the last parliament of Scotland, and touch'd with the scepter the Act of Parliament, which put an end to parliaments for ever in that part of Great Britain, will always be matter of history to the end of time; whether the Scots will remember it to the advantage of the duke's character, in their opinion, that must be as their several opinions guide them.

    This duke's monument, curiously done in marble at full length, is also plac'd in the same church at Disdier, where he is buried with his dutchess, a daughter of the house of Burlington in England.

    But I dwell too long here. While I was at Drumlanrig, being desir'd by the late duke to make some observations on his Grace's estate there, which is very great, in order to some English improvement, I, in particular, view'd some of the hills to the north of the castle, and having a Darbyshire gentleman with us, who was thoroughly acquainted with those things, we discover'd in several places evident tokens of lead-mines, such as in Darbyshire, and in Somersetshire, are said never to fail; and to confirm our opinions in it, we took up several small pieces of oar in the gulls and holes, which the rains had made in the sides of the mountains, and also of a plain sparr, such as is not found any where without the oar: But the duke's death put an end to these enquiries, as also to several other improvements then in view.

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  312. Here we were surpriz'd with a sight, which is not now so frequent in Scotland as it has been formerly, I mean one of their field meetings, where one Mr. John Hepburn, an old Cameronian, preach'd to an auditory of near 7,000 people, all sitting in rows on the steep side of a green hill, and the preacher in a little pulpit made under a tent at the foot of the hill; he held his auditory, with not above an intermission of half an hour, almost seven hours; and many of the poor people had come fifteen or sixteen miles to hear him, and had all the way to go home again on foot. I shall say nothing to it, for my business is not to make remarks on such things; only this I may add, that if there was an equal zeal to this in our part of the world, and for that worship which we acknowledge to be true, and of a sacred institution, our churches would be more throng'd, and our ale-houses and fields less throng'd on the sabbath-day than they are now. But that also by the way.

    From Drumlanrig I took a turn to see the famous pass of Enterkin, or Introkin Hill: It is, indeed, not easy to describe, but by telling you that it ascends through a winding bottom for near half a mile, and a stranger sees nothing terrible, but vast high mountains on either hand, tho' all green, and with sheep feeding on them to the very top; when, on a suddain, turning short to the left, and crossing a rill of water in the bottom, you mount the side of one of those hills, while, as you go on, the bottom in which that water runs down from between the hills, keeping its level on your right, begins to look very deep, till at length it is a precipice horrible and terrifying; on the left the hill rises almost perpendicular, like a wall; till being come about half way, you have a steep, unpassable height on the left, and a monstrous calm or ditch on your right; deep, almost as the monument is high, and the path, or way, just broad enough for you to lead your horse on it, and, if his foot slips, you have nothing to do but let go the bridle, least he pul?s you with him, and then you will have the satisfaction of seeing him dash'd to pieces, and lye at the bottom with his four shoes uppermost. I pass'd twice this hill after this, but the weather was good, and the way dry, which made it safe; but one of our company was so frighted with it, that in a kind of an extasy, when he got to the bottom, he look'd back, and swore heartily that he would never come that way again.

    Indeed, there were several things this last time we pass'd it, which render'd it more frightful to a stranger: One was, that there had been, a few days before, a suddain frost, with a great deal of snow; and though, a little before the snow, I pass'd it, and there was nothing to be seen; yet then I look'd down the frightful precipice, and saw no less than five horses in several places, lying at the bottom with their skins off, which had, by the slipperiness of the snow, lost their feet, and fallen irrecoverably to the bottom, where the mountaineers, who make light of the place, had found means to come at them, and get their hides off.

    But that which is most remarkable of this place is yet behind, (viz.) that noted story of the Whigs in the old persecuting times, in King Charles IId's time, and which I must give you a short account of, for I have not room for the whole history.

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  314. A troop of dragoons had been sent, by order of their commanding officer, to disturb a field-meeting, such a one as I just now describ'd. These meetings were strictly forbidden at that time and the minister, if taken, was punish'd with death, without mercy: The poor people of this country being all what they then call'd Cameronians and Whigs, (for here, by the way, the word Whig began first to be known) I say, the people being zealous in their way, would, and did hold their field-meetings, notwithstanding all the prohibitions the court could make; upon which the Government quarter'd the dragoons upon them, with orders, on all such occasions, to disperse them, and what prisoners they took they were to carry to Edinburgh, especially their ministers. Accordingly, at this time, there was an extraordinary meeting of many thousand people, and the dragoons march'd to disturb them.

    As the whole country were their friends, the dragoons could not stir, but immediately notice would be taken, and the alarm given: The people at the meeting had always some stout fellows arm'd with fire-arms, to prevent a surprize, and they had so now, enough to have beaten off the dragoons, if they had attack'd them, but as they did not covet fighting and blood, otherwise than on necessity for their own defence, and that they had now timely notice given them, they chose to break up and disperse, and they were really dispers'd, when the dragoons came to the place.

    However, the dragoons resolving not to lose their labour, pursued the straggling people, and ill used some of them, took others prisoners, and, among the rest, very unhappily surpriz'd their minister, which was a booty to them; and, as soon as they had him, they march'd off directly to carry him to Edinburgh, where he might depend upon being hang'd.

    The poor people, terribly alarm'd at the loss of their minister; for no people in the world love their ministers like them; the cries of the one part animating and exasperating the other part, and a small body of those who were the guard before, but chose peaceably to separate, rather than dispute it with the dragoons, resolv'd to rescue their minister, whatever it cost.

    They knew the dragoons would carry him to Edinburgh, and they knew, that to do so, they must necessarily go thro' this narrow pass of Interken: They were but thirteen men on foot; but being nimble fellows, and knowing the private ways perfectly well, they reach'd the top of the hill long before the dragoons; eight of them therefore plac'd themselves in the head of the narrow way, where the dragoons were coming on one by one, or at most two by two, and very softly, you may believe, by the nature of the place.

    The other five sliding down from the top of the hill, on the left of the pass, plac'd themselves, as they found to their advantage, being resolv'd to speak with the troop as they came by. It was a thick mist, as is often upon those hills, (indeed seldom otherwise) so that the dragoons could not discover them, till they were within hearing, nor then, so as to know how many they were.

    When the dragoons came up within hearing, one of the five boldly calls to the commander by his name, and bids him halt with his troop, and advance no farther at his peril; the captain calls out again, who are you? and what would you have? They answer'd, deliver our minister; the captain damn'd them a little, and march'd on: The Cameronian called to him again with a threatning air-Will you deliver our minister? at which he reply'd as loud-No, you dog, and if you were to be damn'd; at which the man fir'd immediately, and shot him thro' the heart, so that he fell from his horse, and never spoke a word, and the frighted horse, fluttering a little at the fall of his rider, fell down the precipice, and there was an end both of horse and man together.

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  316. At that very moment the eight men, at the head of the pass, shew'd themselves, though at a distance, and gave a shout, which put the whole body into a pannick fear; for had they fir'd, and the horses been put into the least confusion, half of them would have been down the precipice immediately. In short, the lieutenant that commanded next, being wiser than his captain, gave them better words, and desir'd them to forbear firing for a minute or two; and after a very short conference with his men (for they had no more officers to call a council of war with) resolv'd upon a parley, in which, upon their promising to march off and leave the pass free, they deliver'd their minister, and they carry'd him off; and glad the dragoons were of their deliverance; for, indeed, if they had been 500 instead of 50, the thirteen men might have destroy'd them all; nay, the more they had been, the more certain would have been their destruction.

    But I must go back to Dumfries again, for this was but an excursion from thence, as I observ'd there: I resolv'd, before I quitted the west coast, to see all that was worth seeing on that side, and the next trip we made was into Galloway: And here, I must confess, I could not but look with grief and concern upon the country, and indeed upon the people.

    Galloway, as I hinted before, begins even from the middle of the bridge of Dumfries; the first town on the coast, of any note, is Kirkubright, or, as vulgarly call'd, Kirkubry. It must be acknowledg'd this very place is a surprize to a stranger, and especially one whose business is observation, as mine was.

    Here is a pleasant situation, and yet nothing pleasant to be seen. Here is a harbour without ships, a port without trade, a fishery without nets, a people without business; and, that which is worse than all, they do not seem to desire business, much less do they understand it. I believe they are very good Christians at Kirkubry, for they are in the very letter of it, they obey the text, and are contented with such things as they have. They have all the materials for trade, but no genius to it; all the oppportunities for trade, but no inclination to it. In a word, they have no notion of being rich and populous, and thriving by commerce. They have a fine river, navigable for the greatest ships to the town-key; a haven, deep as a well, safe as a mill-pond; 'tis a meer wet dock, for the little island of Ross lyes in the very entrance, and keeps off the west and north west winds, and breaks the surge of the sea; so that when it is rough without, 'tis always smooth within. But, alas! there is not a vessel, that deserves the name of a ship, belongs to it; and, though here is an extraordinary salmon fishing, the salmon come and offer themselves, and go again, and cannot obtain the privilege of being made useful to mankind; for they take very few of them. They have also white fish, but cure none; and herrings, but pickle none. In a word, it is to me the wonder of all the towns of North-Britain; especially, being so near England, that it has all the invitations to trade that Nature can give them, but they take no notice of it. A man might say of them, that they have the Indies at their door, and will not dip into the wealth of them; a gold mine at their door, and will not dig it.

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  318. It is true, the reason is in part evident, namely, poverty; no money to build vessels, hire seamen, buy nets and materials for fishing, to cure the fish when it is catch'd, or to carry it to market when it is cur'd; and this discourages the mind, checks industry, and prevents all manner of application. People tell us, that slothfulness begets poverty, and it is true; but I must add too, that poverty makes slothfulness, and I doubt not, were two or three brisk merchants to settle at Kirkubry, who had stocks to furnish out ships and boats for these things, they would soon find the people as industrious, and as laborious as in other places; or, if they did not find them so, they would soon make them so, when they felt the benefit of it, tasted the sweet of it, had boats to fish, and merchants to buy it when brought in; when they found the money coming, they would soon work. But to bid men trade without money, labour without wages, catch fish to have them stink, when they had done, is all one as to bid them work without hands, or walk without feet; 'tis the poverty of the people makes them indolent.

    Again, as the people have no hands (that is, no stock) to work, so the gentry have no genius to trade; 'tis a mechanism which they scorn; tho' their estates are not able to feed them, they will not turn their hands to business or improvement; they had rather see their sons made foot soldiers, (than which, as officers treat them now, there is not a more abject thing on earth), than see them apply to trade, nay, to merchandize, or to the sea, because those things are not (forsooth) fit for gentlemen.

    In a word, the common people all over this country, not only are poor, but look poor; they appear dejected and discourag'd, as if they had given over all hopes of ever being otherwise than what they are. They are, indeed, a sober, grave, religious people, and that more, ordinarily speaking, than in any other part of Scotland, far from what it is in England; conversation is generally sober, and grave; I assure you, they have no assemblies here, or balls; and far from what it is in England, you hear no oaths, or prophane words in the streets; and, if a mean boy, such as we call shoe-blackers, or black-guard boys, should be heard to swear, the next gentleman in the street, if any happen'd to be near him, would cane him, and correct him; whereas, in England, nothing is more frequent, or less regarded now, than the most horrid oaths and blasphemies in the open streets, and that by the little children that hardly know what an oath means.

    But this we cannot cure, and, I doubt, never shall; and in Scotland, but especially in this part of Scotland, you have none of it to cure.

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  320. It is the honour of Scotland that they are the strictest observers of the Lord's-Day of any nation in the world; and, if any part of Scotland are more strict observers of it than the rest, it is in this part, and all the country from Dumfries, and the parts adjacent to Glasgow, and the Clyde, inclusive of both the towns of Dumfries and Glasgow; and tho' this country of Galloway may be the poorest and empty of commerce, it is, perhaps, the most religious part of all Scotland. Some people, I know, will not think that an equivalent for their poverty; as to that, let every body think for themselves; 'tis my business only to relate the fact, and represent things as they are.

    It must be acknowledg'd, and there my opinion concurs, they might be as religous and as serious as they are; and the more so, the better, and yet, they might at the same time be industrious, and apply themselves to trade, and to reap the advantages that nature offers them; might build ships, catch and cure fish, and carry them to all the markets in Europe, as the Glasgow merchants shew them the example. But the hindrance is in the nature of the thing; the poverty of the commons, and the indolence of the gentry forbid it; and so Kirkubry, and all the shores of Galloway must remain unnavigated; the fine harbours be unfrequented, the fish be secure and safe from nets till time and better opportunities alter the case, or a people better able, and more inclin'd to business, comes among them, and leads them into it.

    But I must speak no more in generals. I left Kirkubright with a sort of concern; it is so noble a prospect, of what business, and commerce might, and I am persuaded, some time or other will do for it; the river, that enters the sea here, and makes the fine harbour I mentioned, is call'd the Dee, or the Dea, and is of a considerable long course, coming out of mountains, in the remotest north-angle of this shire, towards Carrick; and, as it is full of turnings and meanders, more than any river in Scotland, is said to run near 200 miles in its course, as a river, tho' not above seventy miles in a line; it is sometimes on occasion of land waters, a very great river, and remains so longer than is usual in other rivers.

    The country of Galloway lies due west from Dumfries, and, as, that they call the Upper Galloway, runs out farther than the rest, into the Irish seas; all that bay or sea, on the south side of it may be reckoned part of Solway-Firth, as all on the north side is called the Firth of Clyde, though near 100 miles from the river itself; as all that sea in England, between South Wales, and the north coasts of Devon and Cornwall, is called the Severn sea, even to the Lands End of England, though above 100 miles from the Severn.

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  322. The wester Galloway, which is also call'd the shire of Wigtoun, from the town of Wigtoun, its capital, runs out with a peninsula, so far into the sea, that from the utmost shores, you see the coast of Ireland very plain, as you see Calais from Dover; and here is the town of Port Patrick, which is the ordinary place for the ferry or passage to Belfast or other ports in Ireland. It has a tolerable good harbour, and a safe road; but there is very little use for it, for the packet boat, and a few fishing vessels are the sum of the navigation; it is true, the passage or ferry is wide, and the boats very indifferent, without the least convenience or accommodation; and yet, which is strange, they very rarely, if ever miscarry; nay, they told us there, they had never lost one in the memory of the oldest man in the town, except one full of cattle; which, heeling to one side more than ordinary, all the cattle run to that side, and as it were, slid out into the sea; but the loading being out, the boat came to rights again, and was brought safe into the port, and none but the four-footed passengers were drown'd.

    Port Patrick has nothing in it to invite our stay, 'tis a mean dirty homely place; and as we had no business here, but to see the coast, we came away very ill satisfied with our accommodations. Upon a hill near the town, we could plainly see Ireland to the west, England, (viz.) the coast of Cumberland to the south, and the Isle of Man to the south west, and the Isle of Isla, and the Mull of Kyntire to the north west.

    As we pass'd the peninsula, which is formed by two arms of the sea, one on the north side call'd Lochrain, and the other on the south, call'd the Bay of Glenluce, we stop'd at Stranrawer; in the very neck of land, between both these gulphs, are good roads for ships, and full of fish, but still here is no genius for trade, or for sea affairs of any kind.

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  324. But now having said thus much of the stupidity of the people of Galloway, and especially on the sea coast, for not falling into merchandizing, fishing, &. which would doubtless turn to great account: I must premise two things, that I may not lead the reader into an error.

    1. It is not so with all the people on this western coast of Scotland, as we shall soon see in the other countries, upon the coast of Clyde, farther north, up to, and inclusive of Glasgow itself.

    2. The people of Galloway itself are not perfectly idle, and neither the country, or the people capable of any thing; if it were so, the place would be uninhabited, and, indeed, unhabitable; whereas, on the contrary, it is very populous, and full of inhabitants, as well of noblemen and gentlemen, as of common people; all, which, I shall explain in few words.

    1. It is not so with all the people, they are not all stupid, and without any notions of commerce, navigation, shipping, fishing, &. that is to say, tho' in Galloway they are generally so, from the coast, a little west of Dumfries, that is, from the mouth of the River Fleet, yet to the northward, and upon the coast of Air, Kyle, and Cunningham; it is quite another thing, as you shall hear presently.

    2. The people of Galloway do not starve; tho' they do not fish, build ships, trade abroad, &. yet they have other business, that is to say, they are meer cultivaters of the earth, and in particular, breeders of cattle, such as sheep, the number of which I may say is infinite, that is to say, innumerable; and black cattle, of which they send to England, if fame lies not, 50 or 60,000 every year, the very toll of which before the Union, was a little estate to some gentlemen upon the borders; and particularly the Earl of Carlisle had a very good income by it.

    Besides the great number of sheep and runts, as we call them in England, which they breed here; they have the best breed of strong low horses in Britain, if not in Europe, which we call pads, and from whence we call all small truss-strong riding horses Galloways: These horses are remarkable for being good pacers, strong, easy goers, hardy, gentle, well broke, and above all, that they never tire, and they are very much bought up in England on that account.

    By these three articles, the country of Galloway is far from being esteemed a poor country; for the wooll, as well as the sheep, is a very great fund of yearly wealth to them, and the black cattle and horses are hardly to be valued: The gentlemen generally take their rents in cattle, and some of them have so great a quantity, that they go to England with their droves, and take the money themselves. It is no uncommon thing for a Galloway nobleman to send 4,000 sheep, and 4,000 head of black cattle to England in a year, and sometimes much more. Going from the lower Galloway hither, we were like all to be driven down the stream of a river, tho' a countryman went before for our guide, the water swelling upon us as we pass'd, the stream was very strong, so that I was oblig'd to turn my horse's head to the current, and so sloping over edg'd near the shore by degrees, whereas, if my horse had stood directly cross the stream, he could not have kept his feet.

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  326. This part of the country is very mountainous, and some of the hills prodigious high; but all are cover'd with sheep: In a word, the gentlemen here are the greatest sheep-masters in Scotland, (so they call themselves) and the greatest breeders of black cattle and horses.

    But I was sick of Galloway, thro' which the travelling is very rough, as well for the road, as for the entertainment; except, that sometimes we were received by the gentlemen, who are particularly very courteous to strangers, meerly as such, and we received many extraordinary civilities on that only account.

    We now enter'd the shire of Air, full north from the mull of Galloway, and as before, we coasted the south Bay or Firth of Solway, parting England from Scotland; now we coasted the Firth or Sea of Clyde, which, for above sixty miles lies on the west side the shore, standing away north east from the point of the mull, or north Point of Galloway: The shire of Air is divided into three parts, Carrick, Kyle, and Cunningham.

    Carrick is a more fruitful and better cultivated country than Galloway, and not so mountainous; but it is not quite so rich in cattle, and especially, not in sheep, or horses. There is no considerable port in this part of the country, yet, the people begin to trade here, and they are (particularly on the coast) great fishermen, and take abundance of fish, but not merchants to carry it abroad; sometimes they are employed by the merchants at Glasgow, and other places, to catch herrings for them. Balgony is the chief town, but tho' it stands on the coast, it has no harbour, and is a poor decay'd town; the market is good, because there are many gentlemen in the neighbourhood, and the coast near it is full of people, the houses are mean, and low, and very coarse: The family of Kennedy, Earls of Cassells, are lords of great part of the country, and has a good antient seat farther north, but we did not go to it; the late Earl of Kenmure had some interest here, but, as the family was much sunk in fortune, so, both what was left here, and in Galloway, is gone, and the honour extinct in the last earl, who being beheaded for the late rebellion, Ann. 1716. left nothing behind him worth naming in this country.

    Corning to the north bounds of Carrick, we pass'd the River Dun, upon a bridge of one arch, the largest I ever saw, much larger than the Rialto at Venice, or the middle arch of the great bridge at York; we find many such in this country, though, I think none so very wide, except a bridge between Glasgow and Sterling; which, indeed, I did not measure, though we might have done it, there being then no water in the river. But this the people assur'd us, was almost thirty yards in diameter, which, as I take it, is thirteen foot wider than the Rialto.

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  328. This bridge led us into the county of Kyle, the second division of the shire of Air; and here I observ'd, that, contrary to what is usual, the farther north we travelled, the better, finer, and richer the country was, whereas, ordinarily the farther north we expect it to be the worse.

    Kyle is much better inhabited than Carrick, as Carrick is better than Galloway; and as the soil here is better, and the country plainer and leveller, so on the banks of the river, here are abundance of gentlemen's seats, some of them well planted, tho' most of the houses are old built, that is, castle-wise, because of enemies. But now that fear is over they begin to plant, and endose after the manner of England; and the soil is also encouraging, for the land is fruitful.

    Our Scotch writers tell us a long story of a great battle in this country, between King Coilus or Kylus a British king, and their Fergus I. where the former was kill'd, and from thence the country took his name; also another bloody battle, Ann. 1263. between King Alexander III. of Scotland, and one Acho King of Norway, who came to the port of Air with a great fleet of ships, and 20,000 men on board, who, after ravaging the country, was routed, and lost both his army and 140 sail of his ships. But these Scots legends I shall say nothing to.

    The capital of this country is Air, a sea-port, and as they tell us, was formerly a large city, had a good harbour, and a great trade: I must acknowledge to you, that tho' I believe it never was a city, yet it has certainly been a good town, and much bigger than it is now: At present like an old beauty, it shews the ruins of a good face; but is also apparently not only decay'd and declin'd, but decaying and declining every day, and from being the fifth town in Scotland, as the townsmen say, is now like a place so saken; the reason of its decay, is, the decay of its trade, so true is it, that commerce is the life of nations, of cities towns, harbours, and of the whole prosperity of a country: What the reason of the decay of trade here was, or when it first began to decay, is hard to determine; nor are the people free to tell, and, perhaps, do not know themselves. There is a good river here, and a handsome stone bridge of four arches.

    The town is well situated, has a very large antient church, and has still a very good market for all sorts of provision. But nothing will save it from death, if trade does not revive, which the townsmen say it begins to do since the Union.

  329. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  330. From Air, keeping still north, we came to Irwin, upon a river of the same name; there is a port, but barr'd and difficult, and not very good, when you are in; and yet, here is more trade by a great deal than at Air; nay, than at all the ports between it and Dumfries, exclusive of the last; particularly here is a considerable trade for Scots coal, of which they have plenty in the neighbouring hills, and which they carry by sea to Ireland, to Belfast, to Carickfergus, and to Dublin itself, and the commerce occasioned by this navigation between the two countries is very considerable, and much to the advantage of the town of Irwin. They have also of late, as I was told, launch'd into a considerable trade abroad to other countries, and have some share in the fishery: but this I cannot come into the particulars of here. The town is the capital of that division of the shire of Ayre, which they call Cunningham, and is really within the Firth of Clyde, though not actually within the river itself; they stand so advantagiously for the herring fishing, that they cannot but go beyond their neighbours of Greenock, who sometimes cannot come out as the wind may blow, when the fishing-boats of Irwin can both go out and return.

    As the town is better employ'd in trade than the other parts I have been speaking of, so it is better built: Here are two handsome streets, a good key, and not only room in the harbour for a great many ships, but a great many ships in it also; and, in a word, a face of thriving appears every where among them.

    As is the town, so is the country in which it is situated; for when we came hither, we thought ourselves in England again. Here we saw no more a Galloway, where you have neither hedge or tree, but about the gentlemen's houses; whereas here you have beautiful enclosures, pleasant pastures, and grass grounds, and consequently store of cattle well fed and provided.

    The whole country is rich and fruitful, fill'd with gentlemen's seats and well-built houses: It is said this enclosing the country was owing to the English soldiers, who were placed here and in Kyle by Oliver Cromwell; for at Ayre he built a citadel, the visible appearances of which remain still, and the English soldiers prompted and encouraged the people to endose and improve their lands, and instructed them in the manner of husbandry practis'd in England, which they have never left off to this day.

  331. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  332. A little from Irwin is Kilmarnock castle, the seat of the family of Boy'd, Earl of Kilmarnock; and on the other side the castle of Eglington, the seat of the family of Montgomery, Earl of Eglington, an antient house; and the present Earl is one of the richest peers in Scotland. Just upon the borders of this county, north east, and where it joins to Clydsdale, is the castle of Loudon, the family-seat of the Earl of Loudon, of the family of Campbell, formerly Secretary of State to Queen Anne; it is a noble and beautiful seat.

    But I cannot describe houses: they come too thick upon me; besides, in a country, as this is, full of noblemen's and gentlemen's seats, I should never travel any farther if I did, I mean in this volume.

    With the division of Cunningham I quitted the shire of Ayre, and the pleasantest country in Scotland, without exception: Joining to it north, and bordering on the Clyde itself, I mean the river, lyes the little shire of Renfrew, or rather a barony, or a sheriffdom, call it as you will.

    It is a pleasant, rich, and populous, tho' small country, lying on the south bank of the Clyde; the soil is not thought to be so good as in Cunningham: But that is abundantly supply'd by the many good towns, the neighbourhood of Glasgow, and of the Clyde, and great commerce of both. We kept our rout as near along the coast as we could, from Irwin; so that we saw all the coast of the Firth of Clyde, and the very opening of the Clyde itself, which is just at the west point, or corner of this county, for it comes to a narrow point just in that place. There are some villages and fishing towns within the mouth of the Clyde, which have more business than large port towns in Galloway and Carrick: But the first town of note is call'd Greenock; 'tis not an antient place, but seems to be grown up in later years, only by being a good road for ships, and where the ships ride that come into, and go out from Glasgow, just as the ships for London do in the downs. It has a castle to command the road and the town is well built, and has many rich trading families in it. It is the chief town on the west of Scotland for the herring fishing; and the merchants of Glasgow, who are concern'd in the fishery, employ the Greenock vessels for the catching and curing the fish, and for several parts of their other trades, as well as carrying them afterwards abroad to market.

    Their being ready on all hands to go to sea, makes the Glasgow merchants often leave their ships to the care of those Greenock men; and why not? for they are sensible they are "their best seamen; they are also excellent pilots for those difficult seas.

  333. Vizconde Bizcocho dixo...
  334. En un viejo país ineficiente, algo así como Galizalbion entre dos guerras civiles, en un pueblo junto al mar, poseer una casa, 4 coños y poca hacienda y memoria ninguna. No leer, no sufrir, no escribir, no pagar cuentas, y vivir como un noble arruinado entre las ruinas de mi inteligencia.

  335. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  336. I am now come to the bank of Clyde: My method here as in England, forbids me wandring north, till I have given you a full view of the south. Two rivers seem to cross Scotland here, as the Trent and the Mersee, cross England in the south, or as the Tyne and the Eden cross it in the north, or as the two Calders cross it in Yorkshire and Lancashire, which rise both out of the same hill, and with a mile of each other, and run one into the German ocean at Hull, and the other entring first into the Ribble, runs into the Irish Sea below Preston.

    Thus the Clyde and the Tweed may be said to cross Scotland in the south, their sources being not many miles asunder; and the two firths, from the Firth of Clyde to the Firth of Forth, have not an interval of above twelve or fourteen miles, which, if they were join'd, as might easily be done, they might cross Scotland, as I might say, in the very center.

    Nor can I refrain mentioning how easy a work it would be to form a navigation, I mean a navigation of art from the Forth to the Clyde, and so join the two seas, as the King of France has done in a place five times as far, and five hundred times as difficult, namely from Thouloze to Narbonne. What an advantage in commerce would this be, opening the Irish trade to the merchants of Glasgow, making a communication between the west coast of Scotland, and the east coast of England, and even to London itself; nay, several ports of England, on the Irish Sea, from Liverpool northward, would all trade with London by such a canal, it would take up a volume by itself, to lay down the several advantages to the trade of Scotland, that would immediately occur by such a navigation, and then to give a true survey of the ground, the easiness of its being perform'd, and the probable charge of it, all which might be done: But it is too much to undertake here, it must lye till posterity, by the rising greatness of their commerce, shall not only feel the want of it, but find themselves able for the performance.

    I mention'd the neighbouring situation of the Clyde, and the Forth in this place, only to observe that I make that line the bound of this circuit, and shall speak of nothing beyond it till my next. Supposing a line drawn from Dunbarton to Sterling, exclusive of the first, and inclusive of the last; or rather suppose it drawn from Glasgow to Sterling, inclusive of both, because both relate to the south or lowland part of Scotland.

  337. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  338. I am now cross'd the Clyde to Glasgow, and I went over dry-footed without the bridge; on which occasion I cannot but observe how differing a face the river presented itself in, at those two several times when only I was there; at the first, being in the month of June, the river was so low, that not the horses and carts only pass'd it just above the bridge, but the children and boys playing about, went every where, as if there was no river, only some little spreading brook, or wash, like such as we have at Enfield-Wash, or Chelston-Wash in Middlesex; and, as I told you, we cross'd it dry-foot, that is, the water was scarce over the horses' hoofs.

    As for the bridge, which is a lofty, stately fabrick; it stood out of the water as naked as a skeleton, and look'd somewhat like the bridge over the Mansanares, near Madrid, which I mention'd once before; of which a French ambassador told the people the king should either buy them a river, or sell their bridge, or like the stone-bridge at Chester in the Street, in Northumberland, where the road goes in the river, and the people ride under the bridge in dry weather instead of riding over it. So when I saw such a magnificent bridge at Glasgow, and especially when I saw three of the middle arches so exceeding large and high, beyond all the rest, I could not but wonder, hardly thinking it possible, that where the passage or channel is so exceeding broad, for the bridge consists of eight arches; the river, which in its ordinary channel is so narrow as it is higher up, and at a distance from it, could ever fill up such a height, where it has so grand a space to spread itself as at the bridge.

    But my next journey satisfy'd me, when coming into Glasgow from the east side, I found the river not only had fill'd up all the arches of the bridge, but, running about the end of it, had fill'd the streets of all that part of the city next the bridge, to the infinite damage of the inhabitants, besides putting them into the greatest consternation imaginable, for fear of their houses being driven away by the violence of the water, and the whole city was not without apprehensions that their bridge would have given way too, which would have been a terrible loss to them, for 'tis as fine a bridge as most in Scotland.

  339. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  340. Glasgow is, indeed, a very fine city; the four principal streets are the fairest for breadth, and the finest built that I have ever seen in one city together. The houses are all of stone, and generally equal and uniform in height, as well as in front; the lower story generally stands on vast square dorick columns, not round pillars, and arches between give passage into the shops, adding to the strength as well as beauty of the building; in a word, 'tis the cleanest and beautifullest, and best built city in Britain, London excepted.

    It stands on the side of a hill, sloping to the river, with this exception, that the part next the river is flat, as is said above, for near one third part of the city, and that expos'd it to the water, upon the extraordinary flood mention'd just now.

    Where the streets meet, the crossing makes a spacious marketplace by the nature of the thing, because the streets are so large of themselves. As you come down the hill, from the north gate to the said cross, the Tolbooth, with the Stadhouse, or Guild-Hall, make the north east angle, or, in English, the right-hand corner of the street, the building very noble and very strong, ascending by large stone steps, with an iron balustrade. Here the town-council sit, and the magistrates try causes, such as come within their cognizance, and do all their publick business.

    On the left-hand of the same street is the university, the building is the best of any in Scotland of the kind; it was founded by Bishop Turnbull, Ann. 1454. but has been much enlarg'd since, and the fabrick almost all new built. It is a very spacious building, contains two large squares, or courts, and the lodgings for the scholars, and for the professors, are very handsome; the whole building is of freestone, very high and very august. Here is a principal, with regents and professors in every science, as there is at Edinburgh, and the scholars wear gowns, which they do not at Edinburgh. Their gowns here are red, but the Masters of Arts, and professors, wear black gowns, with a large cape of velvet to distinguish them.

    The cathedral is an antient building, and has a square tower in the middle of the cross, with a very handsome spire upon it, the highest that I saw in Scotland, and, indeed, the only one that is to be call'd high. This, like St. Giles's at Edinburgh, is divided now, and makes three churches, and, I suppose, there is four or five more in the city, besides a meeting or two: But there are very few of the episcopal dissenters here; and the mob fell upon one of their meetings so often, that they were oblig'd to lay it down, or, if they do meet, 'tis very privately.

    The Duke of Montrose has so great an interest here, and in the country round, that he is, in a civil sense, Governor of this city, as he is legally of their university. His fine house at the north end of the city is not finished, so I need not enter upon a description of it. As his Grace's family is antient, and respected very much in these parts, so is his interest preserv'd in his own person, who is generally as much respected by the people as most, if not as any of the nobility of Scotland.

  341. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  342. The Glasgow merchants have of late suffer'd some scandal in this branch of trade, as if they were addicted to the sin of smuggling; as to that, of others, for want of opportunity, are not in capacity to do the same, let those who are not guilty, or would not, if they had room for it, throw the first stone at them; for my part I accuse none of them.

    The Clyde is not navigable for large ships quite up to the town, but they come to a wharf and key at New-Port Glasgow, which is within a very little of it, and there they deliver their cargoes, and either put them on shore there, or bring them up to the city in lighters: the custom-house also is at Port Glasgow, and their ships are repair'd, laid up, fitted out, and the like, either there or at Greenock, where work is done well, and labour cheap.

    I have not time here to enlarge upon the home trade of this city, which is very considerable in many things, I shall only touch at some parts of them (viz.)

    Here is one or two very handsome sugar-baking houses, carried on by skilful persons, with large stocks, and to a very great degree: I had the curiosity to view one of the houses, and I think it equal to, if not exceeding most in London. Also there is a large distillery for distilling spirits from the molasses drawn from the sugars, and which they call'd Glasgow brandy, and in which they enjoy'd a vast advantage for a time, by a reserv'd article in the Union, freeing them from the English duties, I say for a time.
    Here is a manufacture of plaiding, a stuff cross-strip'd with yellow and red, and other mixtures for the plaids or vails, which the ladies in Scotland wear, and which is a habit peculiar to the country.
    Here is a manufacture of muslins, and, perhaps the only manufacture of its kind in Britain, if not in Europe; and they make them so good and so fine, that great quantities of them are sent into England, and sold there at a good price; they are generally strip'd, and are very much used for aprons by the ladies, and sometimes in head-clothes by the English women of a meaner sort, and many of them are sent to the British plantations.
    Here is also a linnen manufacture; but as that is in common with all parts of Scotland, I do not insist so much upon it here, though they make a very great quantity of it, and send it to the plantations also as a principal merchandise.
    Nor are the Scots without a supply of goods for sorting their cargoes to the English colonies, even without sending to England for them, or at least not for many of them; and 'tis needful to mention it here, because it has been objected by some that understood trade too, that the Scots could not send a sortable cargo to America without buying from England; which goods, so bought from, must come through many hands, and by long carriage, and consequently be dear bought, and so the English merchants might undersell them.

  343. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  344. But though the Scots cannot do this, we may reckon up what they can furnish, and what is sufficient, and some of which they can go beyond England in.

    They have several woollen manufactures which they send' of their own making; such as the Sterling serges, Musclebrow stuffs, Aberdeen stockings, Edinburgh shalloons, blankets, &. So that they are not quite destitute in the woollen manufacture, tho' that is the principal thing in which England can outdo them.
    The trade with England, being open, they have now, all the Manchester wares, Sheffield wares, and Newcastle hard wares; as also the cloths, kerseys, half-thicks, duffels, stockings, and coarse manufactures of the north of England, as cheap brought to them by horse-packs as they can be carried to London; nor is the carriage farther, and, in some articles, not so far by much.
    They have linnens of most kinds, especially diapers and table-linnen, damasks, and many other sorts not known in England, cheaper than England, because made at their own doors.
    What linnens they want from Holland, or Hamburgh, they import from thence as cheap as can be done in England; and for muslins, their own are very acceptable, and cheaper than in England.
    Gloves they make better and cheaper than in England, for they send great quantities thither.
    Another article, which is very considerable here, is servants, and these they have in greater plenty, and upon better terms than the English; without the scandalous art of kidnapping, making drunk, wheedling, betraying, and the like; the poor people offering themselves fast enough, and thinking it their advantage to go; as indeed it is, to those who go with sober resolutions, namely, to serve out their times, and then become diligent planters for themselves; and this would be a much wiser course in England than to turn thieves, and worse, and then be sent over by force, and as a pretence of mercy to save them from the gallows.

  345. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  346. This may be given as a reason, and, I believe, is the only reason why so many more of the Scots servants, which go over to Virginia, settle and thrive there, than of the English, which is so certainly true, that if it goes on for many years more. Virginia may be call'd a Scots than an English plantation.

    I might go on to many other particulars, but this is sufficient to shew that the Scots merchants are at no loss how to make up sortable cargoes to send with their ships to the plantations, and that if we can outdo them in some things, they are able to outdo us in others; if they are under any disadvantages in the trade I am speaking of, it is that they may perhaps, not have so easy a vent and consumption for the goods they bring back, as the English have, at London, or Bristol, or Liverpool; and that is the reason why they are now, as they say, setting up a wharf and conveniences at Alloway in the Forth, in order to send their tobaccos and sugars thither by land-carriage, and ship them off there for Holland, or Hamburgh, or London, as the market presents.

    Now, though this may be some advantage (viz.) carrying the tobacco from fourteen to fifteen miles over land; yet, if on the other hand it be calculated how much sooner the voyage is made from Glasgow to the capes of Virginia, than from London, take it one time with another, the difference will be found in the freight, and in the expence of the ships, and especially in time of war, when the channel is throng'd with privateers, and when the ships wait to go in fleets for fear of enemies; whereas the Glasgow men are no sooner out of the Firth of Clyde, but they stretch away to the north west, are out of the wake of the privateers immediately, and are oftentimes at the capes of Virginia before the London ships get clear of the channel. Nay, even in times of peace, and take the weather to happen in its usual manner, there must always be allow'd, one time with another, at least fourteen to twenty days difference in the voyage, either out or home; which, take it together, is a month to six weeks in the whole voyage, and for wear and tear; victuals and wages, is very considerable in the whole trade.

    I went from Glasgow to the palace of Hamilton, or as we should call it in England, to Hamilton-house: It is the palace of Hamilton, and the palace at Hamilton, for the family is according to the Scots dialect, Hamilton of that Ilk, that is of a place or town of the same name, for the town of Hamilton joins to the outhouses, or offices of the house of Hamilton. The house is large as it is, tho' part of the design is yet unfinish'd; it is now a fair front, with two wings, two wings more there are laid out in the ichnography of the building, but are not attempted; the successor if he thinks fit, may build them.

    The front is very magnificent indeed, all of white freestone, with regular ornaments according to the rules of art: The wings are very deep, and when the other wings come to be added, if ever that shall be, the two sides of the house will then be like two large fronts rather than wings; not unlike Beddington House, near Croydon in Surrey, only much larger.

  347. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  348. The apartments are very noble, and fit rather for the court of a prince than the palace or house of a subject; the pictures, the furniture, and the decoration of every thing is not to be describ'd, but by saying that every thing is exquisitely fine and suitable to the genius of the great possessors: the late duchess, whose estate it was, was heiress of the family, but marrying a branch of the house of Douglass, oblig'd him to take the name of Hamilton, so to continue the estate in the name; and it has sufficiently answer'd that end. That match being blest with a truly glorious succession of six sons, four of whom were peers by birth, or creation (viz.) the late Duke, or rather Earl of Arran, his mother being alive, the Earls of Orkney, Selkirk, and Ruglen, besides the Lords Basil and Archibald Hamilton. But this by the way.

    The situation of the house is fix'd to all the advantage imaginable; it stands in a plain, level country, near enough to the banks of the Clyde to enjoy the prospect of its stream, and yet far enough and high enough to be out of the reach of its torrents and floods, which, as you have heard, are sometimes able to terrify a whole city.

    The great park is said to be six miles in circumference, wall'd round with stone, but rough, and not well lay'd; the lesser park is rather a great enclosure than a park, yet they are both extremely well planted with trees, and add to the ornament of the whole. The great park also is well stock'd with deer, and among them some very curious for the kind, whether natives of the place, or of foreign breed, I could not learn. The gardens are finely design'd, but I cannot say they are so finely finish'd, or so nicely kept as those at Drumlanrig, particularly the courtyard; the canals and ponds, design'd with some other gardens laid out in the first plan, are not compleated, and some not so much as begun upon: so that the next heirs have room enough to divert themselves, and dispose of some of their spare treasure, to carry on and compleat the true design of their ancestor.

    The misfortune of the late heir, the father of the present duke, happen'd so, as that he never came to the estate, for he was kill'd before the Duchess Dowager died; so that the estate, as I observ'd, being her own, remain'd in her hands till afterward; whether this might not be the better for the present heir, I shall not determine, let others judge of that.

    I was here in some doubt, whether I should take the south or the north in the next part of my progress; that is to say, whether to follow up the Clyde, and so into, and through Clydesdale, and then crossing east, view the shire of Peebles, the country on the banks of Tweed and Tivyot, or keeping to the north, go on for the Forth; and after a short debate we concluded on the latter. So we turn'd to the left for Sterling-shire, and passing the Clyde we came to Kilsyth, a good plain country burgh, tolerably well built, but not large; here we rested, and upon a particular occasion went to see the antient seat of Calendar, which seems, as well as that of Kilsyth, to be in its widow's weeds, those two families, collateral branches both of the name of Livingston, having had their several decays, though on different occasions. The town of Falkirk is near Calendar house, but nothing in it remarkable; but the other old decay'd house of the Earl of Calendar.

  349. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  350. Here I must take notice, though, as I have often said, antiquity is not my business, that we saw the remains, and that very plain, of the antient work, which they call Severus's wall, or Hadrian's wall, or Graham's dyke, for it is known by all these: the short of which story is this; that the Romans finding it not only difficult, but useless to them, to conquer the northern Highlands, and impossible to keep them, if conquer'd; contented themselves to draw a line, so we now call it, cross this narrow part of the country, and fortify it with redoubts, and stations of soldiers to confine the Picts and Irish, and those wild nations which were without, and defend the south country from their incursions. This wall reach'd from Dunbriton Firth, so they call'd the Firth of Clyde, to the Forth, and was several times restor'd and repair'd, till the Roman empire's declining, as is well known in story. Tho' neither this, or the yet stronger wall at New-castle, call'd the Picts wall, could preserve the country from the invasion of the Picts, and the barbarous nations that came with them.

    From Kilsyth we mounted the hills black and frightful as they were, to find the road over the moors and mountains to Sterling, and being directed by our guides, came to the river Carron: The channel of a river appear'd, indeed, and running between horrid precipices of rocks, as if cut by hand, on purpose for the river to make its way; but not a drop of water was to be seen. Great stones, square and form'd, as if cut out by hand, of a prodigious size, some of them at least a ton, or ton and a half in weight, lay scatter'd, and confusedly, as it were, jumbled together in the very course of the river, which the fury of the water, at other times, I doubt not, had hurried down from the mountains, and tumbled them thus over one another: Some of them might, I suppose, have been some ages upon their journey down the stream; for it may not be once in some years that a flood comes with a force sufficient to move such stones as those; and, 'tis probable, 'tis never done, but when a weight of ice, as well as water, may come down upon them together.

    Here we pass'd another bridge of one arch, though not quite so large as that we saw in Galloway, yet not much unlike, nor much short of it; 'tis finely built of freestone, but rises so high, the shores being flat, and the walls on either side are so low, that it is not every head can bear to ride over it.

    The truth is, there was need to build the bridge but with one arch, for no piers, they could have built in the middle of the channel, ever could have born the shock of those great stones, which sometimes come down this stream.

    From hence, descending on the north side, we had a view of Firth, or Forth, on our right, the castle of Sterling on the left; and in going to the latter we pass'd the famous water, for river it is not, of Bannock Bourn, famous in the Scots History for the great battle fought here between King Robert de Bruce and the English Army, commanded by King Edward II. in person, in which the English were utterly overthrown; and that with so terrible a slaughter, that of the greatest army that ever march'd from England into Scotland, very few escap'd; and King Edward II. with much ado, sav'd himself by flight. How, indeed, he should save himself by a little boat, (as Mr Cambden says) that, indeed, I cannot understand, there being no river near that had any boats in it but the Forth, and that had been to make the king fly north; whereas, to be sure, he fled for England with all the speed he could; he might, perhaps, make use of a boat to pass the Tweed; but that was at least thirty or forty miles off.

  351. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  352. Whether the Scots magnify this victory, or not, is not my business, that it was a total overthrow of the English Army is certain, and that abundance of the English nobility and gentry lost their lives there; but 'tis as true, that it was the ill conduct of the English at that time, and the unfortunate king that led them on, which were the occasion: His glorious predecessor, Edward I., or Edward III. his more glorious successor, never lost such a battle. But let the fault be where it will, this is certain, that the English lost the day, and were horribly massacred by the Scots, as well after as in the fight, for the animosity was implacable between the two nations, and they gave but little quarter on either side.

    Sterling was our next stage, an antient city, or town rather, and an important pass, which, with Dunbarton, is indeed the defence of the Lowlands against the Highlands; and, as one very knowingly said, Dunbarton is the lock of the Highlands, and Sterling-Castle keeps the key. The town is situated as like Edinburgh as almost can be describ'd, being on the ridge of a hill, sloping down on both sides, and the street ascending from the east gradually to the castle, which is at the west end; the street is large and well built, but antient, and the buildings not unlike Edinburgh, either for beauty or sight.

    The church is also a very spacious building, but not collegiate; there was formerly a church, or rather chapel, in the castle, but it is now out of use; also a private chapel, or oratory in the palace, for the royal family: But all that is now laid aside too. The castle is not so very difficult of access as Edinburgh; but it is esteem'd equally strong, and particularly the works are capable to mount more cannon, and these cannon are better pointed; particularly there is a battery which commands, or may command the bridge; the command of which is of the utmost importance; nay, it is the main end and purpose for which, as we are told, the castle was built.

    They who built the castle, without doubt built it, as the Scots express it, to continue aye, and till somebody else should build another there, which, in our language, would be for ever and a day after: The walls, and all the outer works are firm, and if no force is us'd to demolish them, may continue inconceivably long, at least we have reason to believe they will; for though the other buildings grow old, the castle seems as firm and fair, as if it had been but lately built.

    The palace and royal apartments are very magnificent, but all in decay, and must be so: Were the materials of any use, we thought it would be much better to pull them down than to let such noble buildings sink into their own rubbish, by the meer injury of time: But it is at present the fate of all the royal houses in Scotland; Haly-Rood at Edinburgh excepted: It is so at Lithgow, at Falkland, at Dumfermling, and at several other places.

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  354. In the park, adjoining to the castle, were formerly large gardens, how fine they were I cannot say; the figure of the walks and grass-plats remains plain to be seen, they are very old fashion'd; but I suppose the gardens might be thought fine, as gardens were then; particularly they had not then the usage of adorning their gardens with ever-greens, trimm'd and shap'd; trees espalier'd into hedges and such-like, as now: They had, indeed, statues and busts, vasa, and fountains, flowers and fruit; but we make gardens fine now many ways, which those ages had no genius for; as by scrouls, embroidery, pavillions, terrasses and slopes, pyramids and high espaliers, and a thousand ornaments, which they had no notion of.

    The park here is large and wall'd about, as all the parks in Scotland are, but little or no wood in it. The Earl of Mar, of the name of Ereskin, who claims to be hereditary keeper of the king's children, as also hereditary keeper of the castle, has a house at the upper end of the town, and very finely situated for prospect, but I cannot say it is so for any thing else, for it is too near the castle; and was the castle ever to suffer a close siege, and be vigorously defended, that house would run great risques of being demolish'd on one side or other; it stands too near the castle also for the site of it to be agreeable.

    The Governor's lady (who was the Countess Dowager of Marr, when we were there, and mother of the late exil'd Earl of Marr), had a very pretty little flower-garden, upon the body of one of the bastions, or towers of the castle, the ambrusiers, serving for a dwarf-wall round the most part of it; and they walk'd to it from her Ladyship's apartment upon a level, along the castle-wall.

    As this little, but very pleasant spot, was on the north side of the castle, we had from thence a most agreeable prospect indeed over the valley and the river; as it is truly beautiful, so it is what the people of Sterling justly boast of, and, indeed seldom forget it, I mean the meanders, or reaches of the River Forth. They are so spacious, and return so near themselves, with so regular and exactly a sweep, that, I think, the like is not to be seen in Britain, if it is in Europe, especially where the river is so large also.

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  356. The River Sein, indeed, between Paris and Roan, fetches a sweep something like these some miles longer, but then it is but one; whereas here are three double reaches, which make six returns together, and each of them three long Scots miles, or more in length; and as the bows are almost equal for breadth, as the reaches are for length, it makes the figure compleat. It is an admirable sight indeed, and continues from a little below the great bridge at Sterling to Alloway, the seat of the present, or rather late Earl of Marr, the present Earl being attainted for treason, and so dead, as a peer or earl, though alive in exile. The form of this winding may be conceiv'd of a little by the length of the way, for it is near twenty miles from Sterling to Alloway by water, and hardly four miles by land.

    One would think these large sweeps, or windings of the stream, should check the tide very much: But, on the contrary, we found the tide of flood made up very strong under Sterling-bridge, even as strong almost as at London-bridge, but does not flow above seven or eight miles farther: The stream of the river growing narrow apace, and the rapid current of all rivers in that country checking the tide, when it comes into narrow limits; the same is the case in the Tyne at Newcastle, and the Tweed at Berwick; in both which, though the tide flows as strong in at the mouth of the rivers, yet the navigation goes but a very little way up, nothing near what it does in this river.

    The bridge at Sterling has but four arches, as I remember, but they are very large, and the channel widens considerably below it; at Alloway 'tis above a mile broad, and deep enough for ships of any burthen. So that the Glasgow merchants cannot but be in the right to settle a ware-house, or ware-houses, or whatever they will call them here, to ship off their goods for the eastern countries.

    I was, indeed, curious to enquire into the course of this river, as I had been before into that of the Clyde as to the possibility of their waters being united for an inland navigation; because I had observ'd that the charts and plans of the country brought them almost to meet; but when I came more critically to survey the ground, I found the map-makers greatly mistaken, and that they had not only given the situation and courses of the rivers wrong, but the distances also. However, upon the whole, I brought it to this; that notwithstanding several circumstances which might obstruct it, and cause the workmen to fetch some winding turns out of the way, yet, that in the whole, a canal of about eight miles in length would fairly join the rivers, and make a clear navigation from the Irish to the German Sea; and that this would be done without any considerable obstruction; so that there would not need above four sluices in the whole way, and those only to head a bason, or receptacle, to contain a flash, or flush of water to push on the vessels this way or that, as occasion requir'd, not to stop them to raise or let fall, as in the case of locks in other rivers.

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  358. How easy then such a work would be, and how advantagious, not to Scotland only, but even to Ireland and England also, I need not explain, the nature of the thing will explain itself. I could enter upon particular descriptions of the work, and answer the objections rais'd from the great excess of waters in these streams in the winter, and the force and fury of their streams: But 'tis needless, nor have we room for such a work here; besides, all those who are acquainted with such undertakings, know that artificial canals are carefully secur'd from any communication with other waters, except just as their own occasion for the navigating part demands; and that they are so order'd, as to be always in a condition to take in what water they want, and cast off what would be troublesome to them, by proper channels and sluices made for that purpose.

    Those gentlemen who have seen the royal canal in Languedoc from Narbon to Thoulouse, as many in Scotland have, will be able to support what I say in this case, and to understand how easily the same thing is to be practis'd here; but I leave it to time, and the fate of Scotland, which, I am perswaded, will one time or other bring it to pass.

    There is a very good hospital at the upper end of this town for poor decay'd tradesmen merchants. They told us it was for none but merchants, which presently brought Sir John Morden's Hospital upon Black-Heath to my thoughts; but I had forgotten where I was: And that in Scotland every country shop-keeper, nay, almost every pether is call'd a merchant; which, when I was put in mind of, I understood the foundation of the hospital better.

    There is a very considerable manufacture at Sterling, for what they call Sterling serges, which are in English, shalloons; and they both make them and dye them there very well; nor has the English manufacture of shalloons broke in so much upon them by the late Union, as it was fear'd they would. This manufacture employs the poor very comfortably here, and is a great part of the support of the town as to trade, showing what Scotland might soon be brought to by the help of trade and manufactures; for the people are as willing to work here as in England, if they had the same encouragement, that is, if they could be constantly employ'd and paid for it too, as they are there.

    The family of Ereskin is very considerable here; and besides the Earl of Marr and the Earl of Buchan, who are both of that name, there are several gentlemen of quality of the same name; as Sir John Ereskine of Alva, Colonel Ereskine, at that time Governor of the castle; and another Colonel Ereskine, Uncle to the Earl of Buchan, a very worthy and valuable gentleman, who, tho' he does not live at Sterling, has a considerable interest there, and was at that time Honourary Lord Provost of the town.

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  360. But our business was not to the north yet; still having a part of the border to view, that we might leave nothing behind us to oblige us to come this way again: So we went from Sterling, first east and then south-east., over some of the same hills, which we pass'd at our coming hither, though not by the same road. The Duke of Argyle has a small house, which the family call'd the Low-land House, I suppose in distinction from the many fine seats and strong castles which they were always possess'd of in the Highlands: this seat was formerly belonging to the earls of Sterling, and the country round it, south of the Forth, is call'd Sterlingshire, or Strivelingshire, and sends a member to parliament, as a shire or county. The family of the earls of Sterling is extinct, at least, if there are any of the name, as is alledg'd, they live obscurely in England. They make great complaint at Sterling, which they derive from the Papists, that the old Earl of Marr, who built the family-house under the castle, as I have just now said, was a clergy-man and prior, or abbot of the famous monastery of Cambuskeneth, a religious house, of the Order of the Augustines, which stood not far off.

    That upon the Reformation the said abbot turn'd Protestant and married, and was created Earl of Marr: That he was so zealous afterwards for the change of religion, that he set his hand to the demolishing of his own monastery; and that he brought away the stones of it to Sterling, and built this fine house with them; upon which the Romanists branded him with sacrilege and avarice together, and gave him their curse, which is not unusual in Scotland; which curse, they tell you, now fell upon even the house itself, for that the family being hereditary governors of Sterling Castle; and besides, having another house at Alloway, four miles from it, the new built house was never inhabited to this day, at least not by the family to whom it belong'd, and is at last forfeited to the crown.

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  362. From Sterling, as I said, we came away west, and went directly to Lithgow, or Linlithgow, and from thence to Clydsdale, that is to say, the country upon the banks of the Clyde; in doing which last we pass'd the old Roman work a second time, which I still call Severus's wall, because we are assur'd Severus was the last that repair'd it, though he might not make it; and more especially, because the men of learning there generally call it so; the remains of it are very plain to be seen.

    There is nothing remarkable between Sterling and Lithgow but Bannockbourn, which I have mention'd already, and some private gentlemen's seats, too many to repeat.

    Lithgow is a large town, well built, and antiently famous for the noble palace of the kings of Scotland, where King James VI. and his queen kept their Court in great magnificence. This Court, though decaying with the rest, is yet less decay'd, because much later repair'd than others; for King James repair'd, or rather rebuilt some of it: and his two sons, Prince Henry, and Prince Charles, afterwards King of England, had apartments here; and there are the Prince of Wales's Arms, over those, call'd the Princes' Lodgings to this day. Here it was that the good Lord Murray, the Regent, who they call'd good, because he was really so, as he was riding through the town into the palace, was shot most villainously from a window, and the murtherer was discover'd. He dy'd of the wound with the utmost tranquillity and resignation, after having had the satisfaction of being the principal man in settling the Reformation in Scotland in such a manner, as it was not possible for the Popish party to recover themselves again; and after seeing the common people over the whole kingdom embrace the Reformation, almost universally, to his great joy, for he was the most zealous of all the nobility in the cause of the Reformation, and unalterably resolv'd never to give way to the least allowance to the Popish Court, who then began to crave only a toleration for themselves, but could never obtain it; for this reason the Papists mortally hated him, and, at length, murther'd him. But they got little by his death, for the reformers went on with the same zeal, and never left, till they had entirely driven Queen Mary, and all her Popish adherents out of the kingdom, yet we do not find the true murtherer was ever discover'd: But this is matter of history.

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  364. At Lithgow there is a very great linnen manufacture, as there is at Glasgow; and the water of the lough, or lake here, is esteem'd with the best in Scotland for bleaching or whitening of linnen cloth: so that a great deal of linnen made in other parts of the country, is brought either to be bleach'd or whiten'd.

    This lough is situate on the north west side of the town, just by the palace; and there were formerly fine walks planted on both sides, with bordures and flowers from the house to the water's edge, which must be very delightful.

    The Church of St. Michael makes a part of the royal building, and is the wing on the right hand of the first court, as all the proper offices of the court made the left: But the inner court is the beauty of the building, was very spacious, and, in those days, was thought glorious. There is a large fountain in the middle of the court, which had then abundance of fine things about it, whereof some of the carvings and ornaments remain still.

    Here the kings of Scotland, for some ages, kept their Courts on occasion of any extraordinary ceremony. And here King James V. reinstituted, or rather restor'd the Order of the Knights of St. Andrew, as the Order of Knights of the Bath were lately restor'd in England. Here he erected stalls, and a throne for them in St. Michael's Church, and made it the Chapel of the Order, according to the usage at Windsor: The king himself wore the badges of four orders (viz.) that of the Garter conferred on him by the King of England; that of St. Andrew being his own; that of the Golden Fleece conferr'd on him by the emperor, then King of Spain; and of St. Michael, by which it appears he was a prince very much honour'd in the world.

    Also he first order'd the Thistle to be added to the badge of the Order; and the motto, which since is worn about it in the Royal Arms, was of his invention (viz.) Nemo me impune lacessit. The Cordon Verd, or Green Ribband, was then worn by the Knights Companions: but the late King James II. or (as I should say, being in Scotland) the VIIth, chang'd it to the Blue Ribband, as the Knights of the Garter wear it in England.

    Queen Anne, however, restor'd the Green Ribband again, and intended to have call'd a Chapter of the Order, and have brought it into its full lustre again: but Her Majesty was taken to heaven before it could be done.

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  366. Lithgow is a pleasant, handsome, well built town; the Tolbooth is a good building, and not old, kept in good repair, and the streets clean: The people look here as if they were busy, and had something to do, whereas in many towns we pass'd through they seem'd as if they look'd disconsolate for want of employment: The whole green, fronting the lough or lake, was cover'd with linnen-cloth, it being the bleaching season, and, I believe, a thousand women and children, and not less, tending and managing the bleaching business; the town is serv'd with water by one very large bason, or fountain, to which the water is brought from the same spring which serv'd the Royal Palace.

    From Lithgow we turn'd to the right, as I said above, into the shire of Clydesdale: Some business also calling us this way, and following the Clyde upwards, from a little above Hamilton, where we were before, we came to Lanerk, which is about eight miles from it due south.

    From Lithgow, by this way to Lanerk, is thirty long miles; and some of the road over the wildest country we had yet seen. Lanerk is the capital indeed of the country, otherwise it is but a very indifferent place; it is eminent for the assembling of the Bothwell-Bridge Rebellion, and several other little disturbances of the Whigs in those days; for Whigs then were all Presbyterians, and Cameronian Presbyterians too, which, at that time, was as much as to say rebels.

    A little below Lanerk the River Douglass falls into the Clyde, giving the same kind of usual surname to the lands about it, as I have observ'd other rivers do, namely Douglassdale, as the Clyde does that of Clydesdale, the Tweed that of Tweedale; and so of the rest.

    In this dull vale stands the antient, paternal estate and castle, which gives name (and title too) to the great family of Douglass. The castle is very ill adapted to the glory of the family; but as it is the antient inheritance, the heads or chief of the name have always endeavour'd to keep up the old mansion, and have consequently, made frequent additions to the building, which have made it a wild, irregular mass; yet there are noble apartments in it, and the house seems, at a distance, rather a little town than one whole fabrick. The park is very large; the garden, or yards, as they call them, not set out with fine plants or greens, or divided into flower-gardens, parters, wildernesses, kitchin-gardens, &. as is the modern usage. In short 'tis an antient, magnificent pile, great, but not gay; its grandeur, in most parts, consists in its antiquity, and being the mansion of one of the greatest families in Scotland above 1,000 years. The history of the family would take up a volume by itself; and there is a volume in folio extant, written upon this subject only, where the heroes of the name are fully set forth, and all the illustrious actions they have been concern'd in. There are, at this time, not less than six or seven branches of this family, all rank'd in the peerage of Great Britain, namely, the Duke of Douglass, the chief of the whole clan or name, the Duke of Queensberry and Dover, the Earls of Morton, Dunbarton and March; and the Lords Mordingtoun and Forfar; the latter was lately unhappily kill'd at the fight near Dumblane, against the Lord Marr and the Pretender. But I must not run out into families; the head family of this name has been in better circumstances, as to estate, than they are at present: But the young duke does not want merit lo raise himself, when times may come that personal merit may be able to raise families, and make men great.

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  368. From Lanerk we left the wild place call'd Crawford Muir on the right, the business that brought us round this way being finish'd, and went away west into the shire of Peebles, and so into Tweedale; the first town we came to of any note upon the Tweed, is the town of Peebles, capital of the country. The town is small, and but indifferently built or inhabited, yet the High Street has some good houses on it. There is a handsome stone-bridge over the Tweed, which is not a great river here, though the current is sometimes indeed very violent.

    The country is hilly, as in the rest of Tweedale, and those hills cover'd with sheep, which is, indeed, a principal part of the estates of the gentlemen; and the overplus quantity of the sheep, as also their wool, is mostly sent to England, to the irreparable damage of the poor; who, were they employ'd to manufacture their own wool, would live much better than they do, and find the benefit of the Union in a different manner, from what they have yet clone.

    Before the Union this wool, and more with it, brought by stealth out of England, went all away to France, still (as I say) to the great loss of the poor, who, had they but spun it into yarn, and sent the yarn into France, would have had some benefit by it; but the Union bringing with it a prohibition of the exportation, upon the severest penalties, the gentlemen of the southern countries complain'd of the loss, at the time that affair was transacted in parliament; to make them amends for which, a large sum of money was appointed to them as an equivalent, and to encourage them to set the poor to work, as appears by the Act of Union; this money, I say, was appropriated by the Act to be employ'd in setting hands to work in Scotland, to manufacture their own wool by their own people: How much of the money has been so employ'd, I desire not to examine. I leave it to them whose proper business it is.

    Here are two monuments in this country, all Scotland not affording the like, of the vanity of worldly glory. The one is in the foundation of a royal palace, or seat of a nobleman, once the first man in Scotland, next the king: It is a prodigious building, too great for a subject, begun by the Earl of Morton, whose head being afterwards lay'd in the dust, his design perish'd; and the building has not been carry'd on, and I suppose never will. The other is in the palace of Traquair, built and finish'd by the late Earl of Traquair, for some years Lord High Treasurer of Scotland, and a person in the highest posts, both of honour and profit in the kingdom, who yet fell from it all, by the adversity of the times; for his conduct under his Majesty King Charles I. being generally censur'd, and himself universally hated, he sunk into the most abject and lowest part of human life, even to want bread, and to take alms, and in that miserable circumstance died, and never saw the turn of the times, I mean the Restoration, which happen'd but a year after his death. The house is noble, the design great, and well finish'd, and no sooner done so but it was confiscated, and the owner turn'd out of it, to seek his bread from a generation of his enemies, who thought they were merciful enough in sparing his life; whether it was so or not, and what his actions were (perhaps none of the best) is not my business; but, I think, it had been a kind of mercy to him, if they had rather taken his head, the condition he was reduc'd to, being doubtless, to a man of any spirit, much worse than death; and, I question whether, if he had been an English man, he would not have put an end to the distress he was in, Brevi manu: Not that I think that is the way any Christian man ought to take to put an end to human misery, be the condition here what it will, but that we find the English less able to bear such distresses than other nations, and apter to fly into lunacies and desperation, that I believe none will dispute.

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  370. Bishop Burnet gives an account of this earl as a very mean spirited, abject person, and one that suffered himself to be made the instrument of other men's mischiefs, and that he therefore fell so much unpity'd: But be that as it will, it is as I say, a remarkable monument of the vanity of human glory; and it is the more remarkable for this, that he was particularly drop'd and despis'd by the party he had serv'd, and who he had too faithfully adher'd to; which is a caution to all that shall come after him, to take heed how they sacrifice themselves for parties, and against the true interest of their country, they are sure to be abandon'd, even of those that employ them, as well as to be hated of those they are employ'd against.

    Here we saw the ruins of the once famous Abbey of Mailross, the greatness of which may be a little judg'd of by its vastly extended remains, which are of a very great circuit: The building is not so entirely demolish'd but that we may distinguish many places and parts of it one from another; as particularly the great church or chapel of the monastery, which is as large as some cathedrals, the choir of which is visible, and measures 140 foot in length, besides what may have been pull'd down at the east end; by the thickness of the foundations there must have been a large and strong tower or steeple in the center of the church, but of what form or height, that no guess can be made at: There are several fragments of the house itself, and of the particular offices belonging to it; the court, the cloyster, and other buildings are so visible, as that 'tis easy to know it was a most magnificent place in those days. But the Reformation has triumph'd over all these things, and the pomp and glory of Popery is sunk now into the primitive simplicity of the true Christian profession; nor can any Protestant mourn the loss of these seminaries of superstition, upon any principles that agree, either with his own profession, or with the Christian pattern prescrib'd in the scriptures. So I leave Mailross with a singular satisfaction, at seeing what it now is, much more than that of remembring what it once was. I doubt not, had Traquair House been built with the stones of this abbey, some people would have plac'd all the misfortunes of the unhappy builder to that sacrilege, as is noted in the Earl of Marr's house at Sterling: But, as it happen'd, they had no room for that.

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  372. Following the course of the Tweed, we pass'd by abundance of gentlemen's seats and antient mansions, whose possessions are large in this country, and who, it is impossible I should, in so short a tract as this, do any more than name: Such as the family of Douglass, of whom one branch is call'd Douglass of Cavers and is hereditary sheriff of the county. The family of Elliot, of whom one is, at present, one of the Lords of Session in Scotland, and is call'd Lord Minto, in virtue of his office, being otherwise no more than Sir Gilbert Elliot of Minto. There is also another gentleman of the same name, Sir Gilbert Elliot of Stobbs, both antient families, and formerly eminent, with many others, among the borderers; whether that should be mention'd as a fame to them or not, I am not a judge; the borderers, in former days, being rather known for their courage and boldness in the field, than for the justice of their manner; which being chiefly exerted in mutual excursions and invasions on one side, as well as the other, some have been so free with them, as to esteem them no better than thieves. But be that as you will, with respect to ancestors, the present heads of those families are now (at least some of them) as valuable gentlemen as any in both kingdoms, and as much respected; among these are the families of the name of Kerr, Hamilton, Hume, Swinton, and many other; as on the English side were the families of Piercy, Nevil, Gray, and the like.

    The country next this, south east, is call'd Tiviotdale, or otherwise the shire of Roxburgh; and the Duke of Roxburgh has several fine seats in it, as well as a very great estate; indeed most of the country belongs to the family: His house call'd Floors is an antient seat, but begins to wear a new face; and those who view'd it fifteen or sixteen years ago, will scarce know it again, if they should come a few years hence, when the present duke may have finished the additions and embellishments, which he is now making, and has been a considerable time upon. Nor will the very face of the country appear the same, except it be that the River Tweed may, perhaps, run in the same channel: But the land before, lying open and wild, he will find enclos'd, cultivated and improv'd, rows, and even woods of trees covering the champaign country, and the house surrounded with large grown vistas, and well planted avenues, such as were never seen there before.

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  374. From hence we came to Kelsoe, a handsome market-town upon the bank of the Tweed. Here is a very large antient church, being built in the place of an old monastery of fryars, the ruins of which are yet to be seen: The church now standing seems to have been the real chapel of the monastery, not a new one erected; only modell'd from the old one; for though it is itself a great building, yet it has certainly been much larger. Its antiquity argues this, for by the building it must have been much antienter than the Reformation.

    Kelsoe, as it stands on the Tweed, and so near the English border, is a considerable thorough-fair to England, one of the great roads from Edinburgh to Newcastle lying through this town, and a nearer way by far than the road through Berwick. They only want a good bridge over the Tweed: At present they have a ferry just at the town, and a good ford through the river, a little below it; but, though I call it a good ford, and so it is when the water is low, yet that is too uncertain; and the Tweed is so dangerous a river, and rises sometimes so suddenly, that a man scarce knows, when he goes into the water, how it shall be ere he gets out at the other side; and it is not very strange to them at Kelso, to hear of frequent disasters, in the passage, both to men and cattle.

    Here we made a little excursion into England, and it was to satisfy a curiosity of no extraordinary kind neither. By the sight of Cheviot Hills, which we had seen for many miles riding, we thought at Kelso we were very near them, and had a great mind to take as near a view of them as we could; and taking with us an English man, who had been very curious in the same enquiry, and who offer'd to be our guide, we set out for Wooller, a little town lying, as it were, under the hill.

    Cheviot Hill or Hills are justly esteem'd the highest in this part of England, and of Scotland also; if I may judge, I think 'tis higher a great deal than the mountain of Mairock in Galloway, which they say is two miles high.

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  376. When we came to Wooller we got another guide to lead us to the top of the hill; for, by the way, tho' there are many hills and reachings for many miles, which are all call'd Cheviot Hills, yet there is one Pico or Master-Hill, higher than all the rest by a great deal, which, at a distance, looks like the Pico-Teneriffe at the Canaries, and is so high, that I remember it is seen plainly from the Rosemary-Top in the East Riding of Yorkshire, which is nearly sixty miles. We prepar'd to clamber up this hill on foot, but our guide laugh'd at us, and told us, we should make a long journey of it that way: But getting a horse himself, told us he would find a way for us to get up on horse-back; so we set out, having five or six country boys and young fellows, who ran on foot, voluntier to go with us; we thought they had only gone for their diversion, as is frequent for boys; but they knew well enough that we should find some occasion to employ them, and so we did, as you shall hear.

    Our guide led us very artfully round to a part of the hill, where it was evident in the winter season, not streams of water, but great rivers came pouring down from the hill in several channels, and those (at least some of them) very broad; they were overgrown on either bank with alder-trees, so close and thick, that we rode under them, as in an arbour. In one of these channels we mounted the hill, as the besiegers approach a fortify'd town by trenches, and were gotten a great way up, before we were well aware of it.

    But, as we mounted, these channels lessen'd gradually, till at length we had the shelter of the trees no longer; and now we ascended till we began to see some of the high hills, which before we thought very lofty, lying under us, low and humble, as if they were part of the plain below, and yet the main hill seem'd still to be but beginning, or, as if we were but entring upon it.

    As we mounted higher we found the hill steeper than at first, also our horses began to complain, and draw their haunches up heavily, so we went very softly: However, we mov'd still, and went on, till the height began to look really frightful, for, I must own, I wish'd myself down again; and now we found use for the young fellows that ran before us; for we began to fear, if our horses should stumble or start, we might roll down the hill together; and we began to talk of alighting, but our guide call'd out and said, No, not yet, by and by you shall; and with that he bid the young fellows take our horses by the head-stalls of the bridles, and lead them. They did so, and we rode up higher still, till at length our hearts fail'd us all together, and we resolv'd to alight; and tho' our guide mock'd us, yet he could not prevail or persuade us; so we work'd it upon our feet, and with labour enough, and sometimes began to talk of going no farther.

  377. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  378. We were the more uneasy about mounting higher, because we all had a notion, that when we came to the top, we should be just as upon a pinnacle, that the hill narrowed to a point, and we should have only room enough to stand, with a precipice every way round us; and with these apprehensions, we all sat down upon the ground, and said we would go no farther.

    Our guide did not at first understand what we were apprehensive of; but at last by our discourse he perceived the mistake, and then not mocking our fears, he told us, that indeed if it had been so, we had been in the right, but he assur'd us, there was room enough on the top of the hill to run a race, if we thought fit, and we need not fear any thing of being blown off the precipice, as we had suggested; so he encouraging us we went on, and reach't the top of the hill in about half an hour more.

    I must acknowledge I was agreeably surprized, when coming to the top of the hill, I saw before me a smooth, and with respect to what we expected a most pleasant plain, of at least half a mile in diameter; and in the middle of it a large pond, or little lake of water, and the ground seeming to descend every way from the edges of the summit to the pond, took off the little terror of the first prospect; for when we walkt towards the pond, we could but just see over the edge of the hill; and this little descent inwards, no doubt made the pond, the rain-water all running thither.

    One of our company, a good botanist, fell to searching for simples, and, as he said, found some nice plants, which he seem'd mightily pleas'd with: But as that is out of my way, so it is out of the present design. I in particular began to look about me, and to enquire what every place was which I saw more remarkably shewing it self at a distance.

    The day happen'd to be very clear, and to our great satisfaction very calm, otherwise the hight we were upon, would not have been without its dangers. We saw plainly here the smoke of the salt-pans at Shields, at the mouth of the Tyne, seven miles below New Castle; and which was south about forty miles. The sea, that is the German ocean, was as if but just at the foot of the hill, and our guide pointed to shew us the Irish Sea: But if he could see it, knowing it in particular, and where exactly to look for it, it was so distant, that I could not say, I was assur'd I saw it. We saw likewise several hills, which he told us were in England, and others in the west of Scotland, but their names were too many for us to remember, and we had no materials there to take minutes. We saw Berwick east, and the hills called Soutra Hills north, which are in sight of Edinburgh. In a word there was a surprizing view of both the united kingdoms, and we were far from repenting the pains we had taken.

    Nor were we so afraid now as when we first mounted the sides of the hill, and especially we were made ashamed of those fears, when to our amazement, we saw a clergy-man, and another gentleman, and two ladies, all on horse-back, come up to the top of the hill, with a guide also as we had, and without alighting at all, and only to satisfy their curiosity, which they did it seems. This indeed made us look upon one another with a smile, to think how we were frighted, at our first coming up the hill: And thus it is in most things in nature; fear magnifies the object, and represents things frightful at first sight, which are presently made easy when they grow familiar.

    Satisfied with this view, and not at all thinking our time or pains ill bestowed, we came down the hill by the same rout that we went up; with this remark by the way, that whether on horse-back or on foot we found it much more troublesome, and also tiresome to come down than to go up.

  379. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  380. When we were down; our guide carry'd us not to the town of Wooller, where we were before, but to a single house, which they call Wooller Haugh-head, and is a very good inn, better indeed than we expected, or than we had met with, except at Kelso, for many days journey. Here we had very good provision, very well dress'd, and excellent wine. The house is in England, but the people that kept it were Scots; yet every thing was very well done, and we were mighty glad of the refreshment we found there.

    Here we enquired after the famous story of Cheviot-Chase, which we found the people there have a true notion of, not like what is represented in the ballad of Chevy Chase, which has turn'd the whole story into a fable: But here they told us; what all solid histories confirm, namely that it was an in-road of the Earl of Douglass into England, with a body of an army, to ravage, burn, and plunder the country, as was usual in those days; and that the Earl of Northumberland, who was then a Piercy, gathering his forces, march'd with a like army, and a great many of the gentry and nobility with him, to meet the Scots; and that both the bodies meeting at the foot of Cheviot Hills, fought a bloody battle, wherein both the earls were slain, fighting desperately at the head of their troops; and so many kill'd on both sides; that they that out-liv'd it, went off respectively, neither being able to say which had the victory.

    They shew'd us the place of the fight, which was on the side of the hill, if their traditions do not mislead them, on the left hand of the road, the ground uneven and ill enough for the cavalry; 'tis suppos'd most of the Scots were horse, and therefore 'tis said, the English archers placed themselves on the side of a steep ascent, that they might not be broken in upon by the horse. They shew also two stones which, if as I say they are not mistaken, are on the ground where the two earls were slain.

    But they shew'd us the same day, a much more famous field of battle than this, and that within about six or seven miles of the same place, namely Floden-field, where James IV. King of Scotland with a great army invading England, in the year 1538, when the King of England was absent in his wars abroad, at the Siege of Tournay, was met with, and fought by the Earl of Surrey, of the ancient family of Howard, and the English army; in which the Scots, tho' after a very obstinate fight, were totally routed and overthrown, and their king valiantly fighting at the head of his nobility was slain.

  381. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  382. The River Till, which our historians call a deep and swift river, and in which many of the Scots were drowned in the pursuit, seem'd to me not to be sufficient to interrupt the flight of a routed army, it being almost every where passable: But, perhaps, it might at that time be swell'd with some sudden rain, which the historians ought to have taken notice of; because the river is else so small that it would seem to make us question the rest of the story.

    That there was such a battle, and that this was the place, is out of all doubt; and the field seems to be well chosen for it, for it is a large plain, flank'd on the north side, which must be the Scots right, and the English left, by Flodden-Hills, and on the other side by some distant woods; the River Tul being on the Scots rear, and the Tweed itself not far off.

    Having view'd these things, which we had not time for in our passing through Northumberland, we came back to Kelso, and spent the piece of a day that remain'd there, viewing the country, which is very pleasant and very fruitful on both sides the Tweed, for the Tweed there does not part England from Scotland, but you are upon Scots ground for four miles, or thereabouts. on the south side of the Tweed, and the farther west the more the Tweed lies within the limits of the country.

    From Kelso we went north, where we pass'd through Lauderdale, a long valley on both sides the little River Lauder, from whence the house of Maitland, earls first, and at last Duke of Lauderdale, took their title.

    The country is good here, tho' fenc'd with hills on both sides; the River Lauder runs in the middle of it, keeping its course north, and the family-seat of Lauder, stands about the middle of the valley: 'Tis an antient house, and not large; nor did it receive any additions from Duke Lauderdale, who found ways to dispose of his fortunes another way.

    From hence we kept the great road over a high ridge of mountains, from whence we had a plain view of that part of the country call'd Mid-Lothian, and where we also saw the city of Edinburgh at the distance of about twelve or fourteen miles. We pass'd these mountains at a place which they call Soutra-Hill, and which gives the title of Laird of Soutra to a branch of the family of Maitland, the eider brother of which house was Lieutenant-General Maitland, a gentleman of great merit, and who rais'd himself by the sword: He lost one of his hands at the great battle of Treves in Germany, where the French army, under the Mareschal De Crequi, was defeated by the Germans, commanded by the old Duke of Zell; he supply'd the want of his hand with one of steel, from which he was call'd Handy Maitland. He pass'd thro' all the degrees of honour that the army usually bestows; and when the Union was transacting we saw him lieutenant-general of the queen's armies, colonel of a regiment of foot, and governor of Fort-William at Innerlochy, of which in its place.

  383. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  384. I could not pass this way to Edinburgh without going off a little to the right, to see two very fine seats, one belonging to the Marquess of Louthian, of the antient name of Ker, a younger branch of the house of Roxburgh, at Newbattle or Newbottle. Tis an old building, but finely situated among the most agreeable walks and rows of trees, all ful-1 grown, and is particularly to be mention'd for the nicest, and best chosen collection of pictures of any house I have seen in Scotland: The particulars are too many to enter into a description of them. The statues and busts are also very fine; and there are the most pictures of particular families and persons, as well of the royal families of France and England, as of Scotland also, that are, I believe, not only in England, but in any palace in Europe.

    Not two miles from hence is the Duchess of Bucclugh's house at Dalkeith, the finest and largest new built house in Scotland; the duchess, relict of the late Duke of Monmouth, has built it, as I may say, from the foundation, or as some say, upon the foundation of the old castle of Dalkeith, which was the estate of the great Earl of Morton, regent of Scotland, who was beheaded by King James VI. that is, of England, James I. the same that brought the engine to behead humane bodies from Hallifax in Yorkshire, and set it up in Scotland, and had his own head cut off with it, the first it was try'd upon.

    The palace of Dalkeith is, indeed, a magnificent building, and the inside answerable to the grandeur of the family. It stands on a rising ground on the edge of the River Esk; the side to the river is a precipice, from whence it overlooks the plain with a majesty, like that of Windsor, on the bank of the Thames, with necessary allowance for the difference of the country, and of the two rivers, which bear, indeed, no proportion. The park is very large, and there are fine avenues, some already made and planted, others design'd, but not yet finish'd; also there are to be water-works, Jette D'eaus , and a canal, but these are not yet laid out; nor are the gardens finish'd, or the terrasses, which will be very spacious, if done according to the design. There are many fine paintings, especially of the ladies of the English court, and some royal originals; but we must not speak of pictures where Newbottle is so nigh.

  385. THE END OF THE TWELFTH LETTER dixo...
  386. The town of Dalkeith is just without the park, and is a pretty large market-town, and the better market for being so near Edinburgh; for there comes great quantities of provisions hither from the southern countries, which are bought up here to be carried to Edinburgh market again, and sold there. The town is spacious, and well built, and is the better, no doubt, for the neighbourhood of so many noblemen's and gentlemen's houses of such eminence in its neighbourhood.

    This brought us to the very sight of the city of Edinburgh, where we rested a few days, having thus finished our circuit over the whole south of Scotland, on this side of the River Forth, and on the south side of the Firth of Clyde. So I shall conclude this letter,

    And am, & Red Revenge

  387. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  388. SIR,-I am now to enter the true and real Caledonia, for the country on the north of the firth is alone call'd by that name, and was antiently known by no other. As I shall give an account of it as it is, and not as it was; so I shall describe it as I view'd it, not as other people have view'd it; nor shall I confine myself to the division of the country, as the geographers have divided it, or to the shires and counties, as the civil authority has divided it, or into presbyteries and synodical provinces, as the Church has divided it: But noting the shires where I find them needful, I shall give an account of things in the order of my own progress, and as I pass'd thro', or visited them.

    I went over the firth at the Queens-Ferry, a place mention'd before, seven miles west of Edinburgh; and, as he that gives an account of the country of Fife, must necessarily go round the coast, the most considerable places being to be seen on the seaside, or near it; so I took that method, and began at the Queens-Ferry. A mile from hence, or something more, is the burrough of Innerkeithin, an antient wall'd town, with a spacious harbour, opening from the east part of the town into the Firth of Forth; the mouth of the harbour has a good depth of water, and ships of burthen may ride there with safety; but as there is not any great trade here, and consequently no use for shipping of burthen, the harbour has been much neglected: However, small vessels may come up to the key, such as are sufficient for their business.

    The town is large, and is still populous, but decay'd, as to what it has formerly been; yet the market for linnen not only remains, but is rather more considerable than formerly, by reason of the increase of that manufacture since the Union. The market for provisions is also very considerable here, the country round being very fruitful, and the families of gentlemen being also numerous in the neighbourhood.

    There was a tragical story happen'd in this town, which made it more talk'd of in England, at that time, than it had been before. The Lord Burleigh (a young nobleman, but not then come to his estate, his father being living) had, it seems, had some love affair with a young woman in his father's family, but could not prevail with her to sacrifice her virtue to him; upon which the affair being made publick she was remov'd out of the family, and he was persuaded to travel, or whether he went into the army, I do not remember; he had declar'd it seems, before he went abroad, that he would marry her at his return; which, however, it seems the young woman declin'd too, as being too much below his quality, and that she would not be a dishonour to the family: But he not only declar'd he would marry her, but, upon that answer of hers, added, that if any one else marry'd her, he would murther them as soon as he came back: This pass'd without much notice, and the young woman was marry'd, before his return, to a schoolmaster in this town of Innerkeithen.

  389. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  390. After some time the Young Master (so they call the eldest son of a lord, while his father is living) of Burleigh, returns from his travels, and enquiring for the young woman, and being told she was marry'd, and to whom, retaining his hellish resolution he rides away to the town, and up to the school door, and calling for the schoolmaster, the innocent man came out to him unarm'd in a gown and slippers; when, after asking if he was such a one, and flying out in some hard words upon him, he drew his pistol, and shot the poor man dead upon the spot, riding away in the open day, and no body daring to meddle with him.

    But justice pursuing him, and a proclamation being issued, with a reward of 200l . for apprehending him, he was at last taken, and was tried at Edinburgh by the Lords of the Justitiary, and condemned to have his head cut off, and the day of execution appointed. Nor could all the intercession of his family and friends prevail with the queen, after Her Majesty had a true account of the fact laid before her, to pardon or reprieve him: But the day before the execution his friends found means for him to make his escape out of the Tolbooth of Edinburgh, disguis'd in his sister's clothes.

    In return for this deliverance he appear'd in the late rebellion, and was in the battle of Dumblain or Sheriffmuir, but got off again; and his estate, which, however, was but small, was forfeited among the rest. But the murtherer is not yet brought to justice.

    This tragedy, and its circumstances, I think, merits to be recorded, and the rather, because most of the circumstances came within the verge of my knowledge, and I was upon the spot when it was done; there are many other circumstances in it, but too long to be repeated.

  391. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  392. Near Innerkeithin, a little within the land, stands the antient town of Dumfermling, as I may say, in my Lord Rochester's words, in its full perfection of decay; nay, the decay is threefold.

    Here is a decay'd monastery; for before the Reformation here was a very large and famous abbey, but demolish'd at the Revolution; and saving, that part of the church was turn'd into a parochial church, the rest, and greatest part of that also lyes in ruins, and with it the monuments of several kings and queens of Scotland, particularly that of Malcolm III. who founded the monastery, as does also the cloister and apartments for the religious people of the house, great part of which are yet so plain to be seen, as to be distinguish'd one from another.
    Here is a decay'd court or royal palace of the kings of Scotland. They do not tell us who built this palace, but we may tell them who suffers it to fall down; for it is now (as it was observ'd before all the royal houses are) sinking into its own ruins; the windows are gone, the roof fallen in, and part of the very walls moulder'd away by the injury of time, and of the times. In this palace almost all King James the VIth's children were born; as particularly King Charles I. and the Princess Elizabeth, afterwards Queen of Bohemia; and their mother, which was Queen Ann daughter of the Queen of Denmark, made this place her particular residence, which was also settled upon her as her dower or jointure; here she built herself an apartment, consisting of eight rooms over the arch of the great gate, which were her particular retirement, having a gallery reaching from that apartment to the Royal Lodgings.

    The figure of the house remains, but as for the lodgings they are all, as I have said, in their decay, and we may now call it the monument of a court.
    Here is a decay'd town, and we need go no farther for that part than the decay of the palace, which is irrecoverable; there might be something said here of what was done at this town, upon receiving and crowning King Charles II., by the Covenanters, &. and which might, perhaps, contribute to entail a disgust upon the house, and even upon the place; and if it did so, I see no reason to blame the king on that account, for the memory of the place could not be pleasant to his majesty for many reasons: But this is matter of history, and besides, it seems to have something in it that is not, perhaps so well to be remember'd as to be forgot.
    The church has still a venerable face, and at a distance seems a mighty pile; the building being once vastly large, what is left appears too gross for the present dimensions; the church itself, they tell us, was as long as the cathedral of Carlisle, design'd by the model of that of Glasgow, though, I rather think, that at Glasgow, was design'd by the model of that at Dumfermling, for the last was, by far, the most antient.

  393. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  394. The people hereabout are poor, but would be much poorer, if they had not the manufacture of linnen for their support, which is here, and in most of the towns about, carry'd on with more hands than ordinary, especially for diaper, and the better sort of linnen: The Marquess of Tweedale has a good estate in these parts, and is hereditary House-keeper, or Porter of the Royal House, and, in effect, Lord Chamberlain.

    From hence, turning east, we see many seats of private gentlemen, and some of noblemen, as particularly one belonging to the said Marquess of Tweedale at Aberdour. It was formerly one of the many noble mansion houses of the great Earl Mortoun, regent; but with his fall the estates found new masters as that of Dalkeith has in the house of Bucclugh, and this of Aberdour in the house of Yester, or Tweedale. The house is old, but magnificent, and the lands about it, as all must do, that come into the managing hands of the family of Tweedale, have been infinitely improv'd by planting and enclosing.

    This house of Aberdour fronts the firth to the south, and the grounds belonging to it reach down to the shores of it. From this part of the firth, to the mouth of Innerkeithen harbour, is a very good road for ships, the water being deep and the ground good; but the western part, which they call St. Margaret's Bay, is a steep shore, and rocky, there being twenty fathom water within a ship's length of the rocks: So that in case of a south east wind, and if it blow hard, it may be dangerous riding too near. But a south east wind blows so seldom, that the ships often venture it; and I have seen large ships ride there.

  395. Y yo con estas pintas dixo...
  396. He that will view the country of Fife must, as I said before, go round the coast; and yet there are four or five places of note in the middle of the country which are superiour to all the rest, and must not be omitted; I'll take them as I go, though I did not travel to them in a direct line, the names are as follow. Kinross the house of Sir William Bruce, Lessly, Falkland, Melvil, Balgony, and Cowper; the last a town, the other great houses, and one a royal palace, and once the most in request of all the royal houses in Scotland: And here, since I am upon generals, it may not be improper to mention, as a remark only, that however mean our thoughts in England have been of the Scots Court in those times, the kings of Scotland had more fine palaces than most princes in Europe, and, in particular, many more than the Crown of England has now; for example, we see nothing in England now of any notice but Hampton-Court, Windsor, Kensington, and St James's.

    Greenwich and Nonsuch are demolished.

    Richmond quite out of use, and not able to receive a Court.

    Winchester never inhabited, or half finished.

    Whitehall burnt, and lying in ruins, or, as we may say let out into tenements.

    Westminster, long since abandon'd: So that I say nothing remains but, as above, St. James's, Kensington, Windsor, and Hampton-Court.

  397. Valerio Catulo Marco Tulio Lépido Diocleciano dixo...
  398. Cole-hewersNigri , Girnantes more Divelli.
    Main
    IMWT
    YNWA

  399. Mil Pollas Enhiestas dixo...
  400. Mujeres frías, cerveza caliente, Redmontadas épicas

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